Excessive Woodpecker Fires KopTalk's Imagination

It’s been a fairly busy weekend for me since, unlike Duncan Oldham, I attended the match at Anfield against Birmingham. The less said about that game the better, though…

Why do I say Dunk wasn’t there? Well, when I did next check KopTalk, I saw he’d posted at 2.34pm on Saturday. Perhaps he was using a 3G connection on his laptop, sat in the KopTalk van somewhere near Anfield, immediately prior to heading into the ground. Or perhaps he was sat on his fat behind in Alicante, waiting for the match to appear on one of his foreign satellite channels.

He already seems to have forgotten his pledge to try to attend every home league match this season and his claim that he’d booked up accommodation for the first half of it. Unfortunately, so do his members, as not one has asked his views on the games so far; nor has anyone enquired whether he’s been or if he’d like to meet up. If anyone reading this doesn’t mind risking their membership, then maybe you’d like to give him something awkward to chew on.

Of course, we all know the blog doesn’t bother him. The attention has kept him on his toes, he tells us, and he’s already ‘won’. He has a funny way of showing it, getting ‘Johnny Vegas’ to record a segment for his podgecast to tell other Liverpool sites to stop embarrassing themselves, and posting up a 50 Cent video in the Chillout Room and dedicating it to his ‘Fan Club’.

Something else we know is that he has been ‘on the lash’ this weekend; we know because he told us so. It must have been the fermented apples that inspired some classic KopTalk bullshit, the like of which we haven’t seen for at least, oh, a week. I must admit that, when I saw the thread title, I did think that perhaps he’d found religion and decided to reform. I should have known better.

#39069 – Yesterday at 06:22 PM A little criticism from above
Dunk Dunk Administrator Offline
Site Editor
KopTalk VIP

Registered: 21/07/07
Posts: 1112
Received an SMS last night (while out on the lash) from an Anfield VIP about Rafa’s selection yesterday. He said there was a lot of disbelief yesterday from upstairs. Nothing more, no more drama, nothing juicy… why mention it then? Because it’s the very first time I have heard someone from above say anything negative about Rafa since he came in.

He really has excelled himself this time. We’re supposed to believe that he has direct contact with someone on the board and that the same someone would tell him highly confidential secrets for him to impart to the dwindling band of people who pay him £30. It’s one thing to ‘borrow’ news items from elsewhere and dress them up as his own or to spout vague bull about transfer targets. However, it’s quite another to libel one of a small group of people, and pile unnecessary pressure on our manager, by coming out with something as outrageous as this. And don’t worry, Dunk — we do have a screenshot.

text-bullshit

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3 Responses to “Excessive Woodpecker Fires KopTalk's Imagination”

  1. Saints fan Says:

    It’s not the first time either – has he forgotten about Noel White’s outburst last year? I think he wishes we’d forget about it. Remember how it was revealed, on TLW IIRC, that the anonymous member of LFC’s board mouthing off to one of the papers was actually Noel White? And how this news spread through the other LFC sites? Fatty didn’t like this, so said “It wasn’t White, but I can’t say who it was”. A few days later White was kicked off the board by David Moores.

    Oldham was wrong again.

    And now he’s wrong again, seeing as there has already been criticism of Rafa from above. From someone who got kicked out later.

    If you support a team you remember things like this. I’m sure he remembers everything ever said by Freddie Shepherd.

  2. Dr Proctor Says:

    Just when you think he can’t sink any lower he pulls another out of the hat. Vegas and this.

    He should work for Burger King, he’s a 100% whopper.

  3. Saints fan Says:

    Sounds like he’s hitting the bottle again now too, like he did in summer last year when the blog was first starting to really get to him.

    It’s funny when he forgets his lies. You can imagine him slapping his fat head when he realises he’s messed up. He totally forgot to do his pretending to be at the match routine. Like the pretending he did that Christmas when he wanted us to believe he was in NY!


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