KopTalk demand £30 for services other LFC sites provide free of charge

While we wait in vain for anything of interest to happen on KopTalk, we decided to take another look at KT’s sign-up page – the list of “services” you can get free of charge elsewhere which Duncan Oldham expects you to pay £30 for:

Unlimited access to the world’s ONLY LFC website for VIP Liverpool supporters
A meaningless platitude which translates as: “access to the only LFC site that cons its members into paying £30 to read stories which are made up by its pathological liar of an owner or stolen from other, infinitely superior free sites”.

Exclusive news and reports from inside Anfield and Melwood
“Exclusive” in this case means “made up by a cider-addled Duncan Oldham”.
This summer, only
one LFC site ran a news report about Torres having a medical at Melwood a full day before he actually arrived in Liverpool – KopTalk. Because it was the only website to make such crap up.
And only one LFC site carried a news report about Mancini undertaking a medical at Melwood – KopTalk. Because Duncan Oldham was the only LFC website owner to dream up such laughable bullshit.

Exclusive training sessions reports direct from Melwood
Exclusive photos direct from Melwood – see the lads train
Another bare-faced lie. Oldham no longer reprints the Press Association’s images of LFC training sessions – which are available to anybody willing to pay for them – on his website.
We’re uncertain if he’s now simply too skint to afford the images or has been banned by PA for posting their images, watermarked with his website’s url, on Photobucket. Oldham no longer lists his Football DataCo licence on KT, which gave him special permission to use PA’s pics.
The only “exclusive” Melwood photos Oldham has ever posted on KT were the blurry shots taken while standing on a stepladder and peering over the wall there. If any other LFC website owner did this, it’s doubtful anybody would bat an eyelid. But if an LFC website owner who has been claiming for years that he has contacts inside Melwood, on the board and within the first team squad does this, he looks like a liar and a fool.

FREE worldwide SMS alerts of all major LFC news as it happens
FREE worldwide SMS alerts of every confirmed first team line-up
FREE worldwide SMS alerts of all competitive LFC half-time scores
FREE worldwide SMS alerts of all competitive LFC full-time results
Members have been telling us how unreliable this service is since the blog began. Some have never received a single text. It has now become an opt-in service, although this is never made apparent when you sign up. This season, Oldham said he would have the SMS alerts sorted in time for the first competitive match. Then he said they would be ready for the first leg against Toulouse. But over the past week, it has become clear that Oldham has broken yet another promise:

25/08/07 11:06 AM Regarding SMS-alerts?
Mystery Loc: Norway
What’s up with the free sms alert? Would be nice to get the line-up on a SMS when I’m down at he pub!
Is it still available?

25/08/07 11:19 AM Re: Regarding SMS-alerts? [Re: Mystery]
Saudi Scouser
I didn’t get any yet !

25/08/07 11:22 AM Re: Regarding SMS-alerts? [Re: Saudi Scouser]
harrythedog Loc: Chorley, Lancs
nor do i 😦

FREE LFC email address by request e.g. your.name@liverpool-fc.net
Why would you entrust your email account to someone who feels entitled to hack into members’ accounts when the need arises?

Unlimited access to advertisement free content for all your LFC news i.e. no ads!
This is not strictly true, as Oldham plasters his forums with plugs for his many affiliate deals.

Unlimited access to our Executive Lounges (discussion forums) – moderated 24/7!
Which other forum would list access to its, err, forums as a feature worth paying £30 for? And for any latecomers, they aren’t moderated 24/7 for the benefit of KT members. It’s to ensure that people don’t post links to this blog or start asking uncomfortable questions about Oldham’s many lies.

*Links to FREE audio and/or video of LFC first team matches – watch and listen live!
As provided by every other LFC site. The links Oldham gives out are to the free myp2p site, which is accessible to all. One of KT’s members did unearth another site a few weeks ago, though, so we thought we’d share it with you: http://www.channelsurfing.net

*Details of any satellite feeds to enable reception of individual first team fixtures

FREE weekly Lotto syndicate participation – at least 100 x £1 lines-a-month!
FREE weekly Football Pools syndicate participation
FREE weekly Football Millionaire syndicate participation

Under pressure from the blog last year, Oldham finally posted up scans of these alleged Lotto lines – for one week only (a grand total of 25 lines). This is the only proof Oldham has ever provided that any of these promised services are delivered.

Priority support including direct line with the KOPTALK editor
KopTalk’s tendency to only answer queries which Oldham deems acceptable is infamous, as was perfectly summed up by a member last week:

Re: Koptalk renewal [Re: Dunk]
5europeancups Loc: belgium
Its funny, that when a topic is raised about how to renew subscription Dunk takes personal charge, but all other issues you have to raise a support ticket!!

FREE P.A. cover for whenever you’re away from the office or home
Despite many pleas from the blog last year for KT members who had benefited from this service to come forward, we’re still yet to hear from anyone.

Match Previews & Match Reports
As available free of charge on every other LFC site.

Help with match-day tickets through interaction with other members
As available free of charge on every other LFC site – without the owner touting tickets for vastly inflated prices.

25% discount off all KOPTALK merchandise when advertised
Has Oldham honestly sold a single article of this crap, at any price?

Every major Rick Parry, Rafael Benitez, Tom Hicks, George Gillett quotes
As reported informally on every other free LFC site.

*Links to first team goals usually within a few minutes of full-time (3rd party)
As available on pretty much every other LFC site and to anyone visiting YouTube, Daily Motion et al. We also recommend http://www.soccerpulse.com for goals and highlights while the game is still in progress.

We think Oldham is underselling his shoddy site. The current sign-up page just doesn’t do justice to the full range of services KopTalk offers. Here are a few additions he should make to his list:

Adverts for and stories taken from The S*n
One of the few exclusive services KopTalk actually offers

Being told what to do by a 14-year-old Leeds United fan
This summer’s star signing, SeaDog

The Shoutbox
A chance to witness RichT’s excruciating attempts to banter with Katie in real time

Videos of a morbidly obese halfwit talking tedious bollocks

Guillem Balague forum
Total posts so far – none

Target Tracker forum
Total posts so far – none

Scouting Reports forum
Total posts so far – none

Draconian censorship, with threads regularly being locked and deleted, often for no discernible reason
Any thread which looks like it may lead to Oldham being asked uncomfortable questions will be made to disappear – often along with the member(s) responsible

Ongoing competition to see who can come up with the most painfully unfunny references to pies in any 24-hour period

7 Responses to “KopTalk demand £30 for services other LFC sites provide free of charge”

  1. Tubby Says:

    and that’s putting it very politely.

  2. chrispy Says:

    That just about sums up DunCON perfectly.

  3. Scouse Says:

    Dunc says thanks on koNtalkblog.com…. He’s used this tactic before i.e thanks for helping him, is he really that stupid? Koptalk has had it’s worst year in existence being dropped from Newsnow, trading standards involved, majority of members cancelling and a closed forum with ocassional tumbleweed. Then there’s the kop football disaster. Obligatory mention of the family and kids had to go in for good measure (complete fabrication as usual)

    Don’t worry Dunc no doubt this site will keep the pressure on helping you get towards ‘cloud 10′ next year (is that a euphemism for being banged up?) When are you going to realise people wouldn’t hate you if you hadn’t charged for your false info, you’ve been lying to LFC supporters for 10 years and you are now paying the price (still too scared to go anywhere near Anfield)

    /Start bullshit quote
    “I’d like to say thanks to a small group of people on the internet who have in the last year tried to make my life hell, both online and offline. A group for former (banned) members started stalking me, my family, my friends and our members – I’m sure many of you have seem them at work.

    Initially it was a concern as some of the lengths they went to were very sick, people that targeted also included my disabled cuz’, me mam and even my kids. Looking back it was the best thing that they could have ever done. My youngest lad is too young to understand, my teenage daughter thinks it’s funny and me mam’s been through more in life than to be concerned by a group of internet losers who are more concerned with advancing my life than their own. Blood’s thicker than water.

    Over a year on and things offline have improved dramatically for me on a personal level. I needed that kick up the backside, it kept me on my toes. I’m one of those people who would be dragged out last, kicking off and killing before anyone took me down, it’s just my personality, make attacks on me or my family and it makes me even stronger, the will to succeed becomes greater. I was becoming complacent and if it wasn’t for them I’d have been happy to settle for the life I had.

    Today I bring you this update a very happy and proud man indeed. My life has dramatically improved in the last year. The thing is none of it would have been possible without them and I really mean that. I’d have still been stuck in my rut doing the same thing every day of the week, content with what I had.

    It has been the best year and summer of my life. I would ask those who continue to stalk me to keep it up as I want to be kept on my toes because I’ll tell you this, if I can climb as many steps on the ladder again in the next year with your help, I’ll be on cloud 10.

    Sticks and stones…”

  4. Dr Proctor Says:

    Haha, pure comedy from the FAT one..

    He really is mentaly ill

  5. tubby Says:

    Classic bullshit from the fat Kunt. Who does he honestly think he’s fooling?

    Dunk you’re a sad flabby loser, and the only reason these people on the internet “stalk” you is not because they have little else to do, its because you are a leech on the club they love. Something you will never understand, which brings us together in this way. The only community you have is one fashioned out of paranoia and scamming people out of their cash with lies and deceipt.

    If you really were all those things you say you are you would open up the forums, stop charging, and explain your actions without hiding.

    But you are a coward, yo uwill never do that, and like a sad bastard will cling to the fading belief that Kontalk wil l somehow survive. Foolish man.

  6. An Observer Says:

    He’s so happy with all the help yet he is too scared to enable comments on his own blog.

    Keep up the pretence fat boy.

  7. Red_Goose Says:

    It’s obvious and apparent to most Red fans CONtalk feeds on or seeks to exploit our insatiable appetite for news about LFC, the club and players.

    Take the latest headline alluding to reasons why Pako left… etc etc.

    Lets face it, CONtalk is a commercial venture and the so-called plagerist of an editor is making a living from Fans by charging such exorbitant sums.

    A far better deal is to get an e-ticket subscription from the official LFC site… the media is great and the library now goes back more than a decade. Sure we have to wait 24 hours but at least we’re supporting the club directly!

    Another great source of ‘sound’ stories and commenst is the Echo online site. Heck, we even have Tommy contributing his thoughts there. And Rushy.

    And of course many a good Red fans site linked from this sites pages.


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