Why is it so quiet?

One of the blogs readers and Koptalk member, chrispy, was wondering yesterday why it’s so quiet on Koptalk. Apparently there was only 3 members online. This is a common mistake, as has been explained on the blog before. Dunk has set his forums up with so many subforums that you’ll never get an idea of how many members are online. You only see how many are in the “top level”-forums where theres only lists of subforums. He has also made the “who’s online”-feature unavailable to anyone but the administrators. This is off course to prevent his members to see how few are using his site. Let’s see what was said:

#236333 – Today at 11:54 AM Why is it so quiet?
KopTalk Member
Registered: 12/05/05
Posts: 1806
Loc: Abergavenny, Wales
I’ve been logging in the last few weeks and I see 3 people viewing a forum and 2 another whereas it used to be 60, 80, 100+. What’s going on? Is everyone on holiday? The banter seems to be drying up.#236352 – Today at 12:04 PM Re: Why is it so quiet? [Re: chrispy]

Registered: 20/08/04
Posts: 21322
The figure you are seeing only shows the people in a sub section before they enter the actual forums.For example:

Football Discussion (3 viewing)

This is the amount of people in this section:

http://www.koptalk.coN/members/ubbthreads.php?ubb=postlist&Board=75&page=1NOT The actual forum so they are just loggin in / connecting to a forum.There are 272 users online even though it appears there are 3.

This started out well, with Dunk explaining the same as I did above. But he couldn’t resist to top it with a little lie, could he? He claimed that there were 272 users online at the time.  Well I don’t believe it. I monitored the “who’s online”-page for half a year before he disabled it. There was never even close to 272 members online then. Not when we secured investment, not when we played Barca, not when you went on your US jolly. Never. Not once in 7 months. So why should there be now, in the middle of the summer? One thing I noticed though was that there was a decrease in online members over the 7 months.

Polite, as he is, chrispy thanked for the answer, but added another tricky question that sent Dunk into trouble:

#236359 – Today at 12:08 PM Re: Why is it so quiet? [Re: Dunk]
KopTalk Member
Registered: 12/05/05
Posts: 1806
Loc: Abergavenny, Wales

Thanks mate I thought summat was up for a sec with only 6 peeps online. Normally this place is buzzing big time.

What about one of them mods at the bottom to show who’s been online today and how many? I used to have this on a forum I run years ago and it helped a lot of members to know who’s on or been on in the last few hours.

Surely, Dunk, with 272 members online you’d want the world to know your site is popular. Only problem is that there are not 272 members online, and you don’t want anyone to know how few there actually are. But you need an excuse. What will it be?

#236364 – Today at 12:09 PM Re: Why is it so quiet? [Re: chrispy]
Registered: 20/08/04
Posts: 21322

The thing is, as it´s a busy site it can cause the forums to slow down a bit. I do like those things myself though and it´s something I will look at when we move to the new server later this month

Slow down the forums? On your £600+ a month blistering fast server? Come on. Noone is going to believe such crap.  All the other forums I’ve seen have such a feature, and they have no problems with it. Even RAWK with 22.638 members, about 19.000 more than Koptalk, have such a feature without problems. Only Koptalk doesn’t allow the members to see who else is online. Why is that? And if you like those things yourself, as you claim, why not link to the “who’s online”-page for those who are interested? Are you afraid that your members will discover something? Like how quiet it is?


21 Responses to “Why is it so quiet?”

  1. Superdan Says:

    Just commented in the “Dude wheres my prize?” article before I saw this so maybe my comment is more suited to this one.

  2. Didihno Says:

    My God that’s funny.
    Seriously though, you’d have to question the intelligence of anyone who believed that excuse.

  3. Rash's #1 fan Says:

    Another effin server move? I thought his current one was the super duper bestest?

  4. tubby Says:

    Who needs http://www.koptalk.coN, when there’s http://www.kopta1k.com (with a 1).

  5. chapeau du soleil Says:

    >> Another effin server move? I thought his current one
    >> was the super duper bestest?

    Ah yes well but, er I think I have left the iron on

  6. Paul.S Says:

    One Dedicated Server = £70 a month.
    300 + Concurrent connections.
    Server Load =

  7. Ritchi3 Says:

    *Waves at hansi*

  8. Rash's #1 fan Says:

    Considering his forum blocks bots n guests, has all the extras turned off and has no mod hacks, it would run a piece of piss on a £20 shared hosting account.

  9. Toby Says:

    # tubby Says:
    July 11th, 2007 at 12:52 pm

    Who needs http://www.koptalk.coN, when there’s http://www.kopta1k.com (with a 1).

    Do you run that site Tubby? If so, just to point out the header code still links to Koptalk’s RSS feed. don’t want any promotion for his scam headlines do we? 🙂

  10. Hansi Says:

    *Waves back at Ritchi3*

    Bright lad that Ritchi guy.

  11. Ritchi3 Says:

    [i]No so bright lad that Hansi guy.[/i] 😉

  12. phil_mcavity Says:

    There are hacks you can get that will allow you to have all registered users online at once whether they are or not. I toyed around with a basic forum some years back to see what could be done when me and a few mates were gonna leave another forum we were using due to the nazis who were running it. Its very surprising what you can do with all the forum hacks n modz out there.

  13. Hansi Says:

    But knows he should use html not BBcode 😀

  14. phil_mcavity Says:

    With everything turned off like it is it shouldn’t have any problem running the mod mentioned. Free sites from Invisionfree forums offer this facility and the bandwidth is really restricted so a superduper server that costs £100’s a month should piss it easypeasy.

  15. Koptalk Outsider Says:

    Not to mention a £600+ a month server.

    At the moment it’s so slow that I could type the pages faster. Yesterday I couldn’t log on for hours. £600???

  16. Koptalk Outsider Says:

    I noticed, after I posted this article, that Dunk had changed the layout, so that most forums are now listed on the top level. Now we can see how many are in the various forums. At the moment it looks like about 40.

  17. chapeau du soleil Says:

    28 of those 40 are undercover….

  18. Scouse Says:

    Since the forum only allows registered users in and no bots etc if there were 272 users online why are there so little posts?

    It’s hardly the place that people lurk looking for gems of information, what an absolute lie.

    The thing is, as it´s a busy site it can cause the forums to slow down a bit. I do like those things myself though and it´s something I will look at when we move to the new server later this month

    This is another stupid lie too, to query a sessions table and return usernames hardly makes a difference. No doubt they will look at them but they certainly won’t implement it as it will show Koptalk in it’s true colours i.e dead.

    Disabling private messages, email addresses, OTT moderation plus no community/buddy list type elements means there is nothing left at Koptalk

    Watch the cost cutting start i.e cheaper servers…

  19. phil_mcavity Says:

    Chrispy’s just asked an awkward question again regarding the Pm system. Check it out at :-


  20. 1892 Insider Says:

    Thanks, Phil.

    I think chrispy knows the score; he’s posted comments on the blog a number of times. It’s a perfectly reasonable question he’s asked.

    For the benefit of those without access:

    No offense intended here but this PM system being turned off is bloody stupid. It uses barely any of the available space and it makes it impossible for anyone to discuss anything in private (hence the name private/personal message). Anything being discussed now MUST be done in the open whereas some members may want to share something privately and not with the whole membership.

    I offered a member in Jersey (I believe) a Liverpool cushion for his son and requested his details again as i’d accidentaly deleted the original e-mail. I’m still waiting for the address details I need to send it on. With the PM system it would have been done in seconds and the lad would have had his cushion by now.

    I’ve had many a great discussion with people over the years through differing forums PM systems and built up great friendships as it was personal one on one discussions that others couldn’t jump in on and ‘hijack’ the thread. It’s a very sad waste of a great forum function.

    Apologies for ‘hijacking’ this thread

    Most forums I’ve been on allow you to disable the PM function and give you the choice of whether or not you as an individual wish to display e-mail or MSN details. If people feel they are receiving spam or don’t want to risk it, then they have the ability to hide that information.

    Dunk doesn’t trust his members with such basic adult rights, though. If he replies at all, it will be some variation on the line about being spammed by ex-members. Complete rubbish, of course, because I wouldn’t jeopardise the access I have to PM people about the blog. He’s worried about masses of his rank-and-file subscribers discussing him, other sites and his made-up transfer stories that never come off.

    For anyone hoping for an update on the podgecast, I’m afraid I can’t be bothered at the moment. I may or may not produce a summary at a later point. It’s 81 minutes in length — nearly as long as a match! — and about as interesting as a home fixture against Middlesbrough. I couldn’t last all the way through, but there were one or two indirect digs at the blog, starting with an opening sequence set to the Bond theme and featuring Dunk and Steve cackling like the witches from Macbeth for about two minutes at the idea of Dunk being ‘on the run’.

  21. phil_mcavity Says:

    I think it should be left to the individual to choose if it’s there to stop spam. I’m with you when you say he’s doing it to stop people discussing him and all the bullshit posted there. I’ve met some paranoid folk in my time but he takes the biscuit I mean how paranoid can one person be?

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