I’m just sitting here at the moment being forced to endure a re-run of last night’s “Britain’s Got Talent”. Some woman is playing a keyboard, playing, “Love lift us up where we belong”, in a Peter Kay stylee.
It’s comical, without her ever intending it to be funny. I feel sorry for her, she really must think she’s good.
All of this reminds me of someone who I don’t feel sorry for, someone who makes people the world over laugh. Without meaning to. Yes it’s – who else – Duncan Oldham.
Duncan “Dunk” Oldham is the owner of a website (Koptalk) that bills itself as being a Liverpool Fan Site. Well it isn’t run by Liverpool fans, it’s run by a Newcastle season ticket holder who used to support Leeds. He did go through a spell of supporting LFC – he even married his former wife Maria at Anfield. He got season tickets in their names, which he now sells on for a profit – he’s not been to a game at Anfield in years. When his car was spotted at Anfield for the first home game of last season, I’m now told it was because he drove over to collect the wads of cash he got for the use of the season tickets for a whole season.
Will he get to use them next season? Let’s hope not. Why should a ticket tout (he sold his FA Cup final tickets in 2006 for £1600) be allowed to tout his season tickets? The club know his seat numbers and know what he does with them. He’ll find it difficult to use them this way again.
Rupert found out today that Dunk definitely did not win any tickets in the ballots carried out for the final in Athens. His season tickets were not successful. I’m not sure he’d actually have qualified anyway – as far as I know he only went to one away, for which he bought one ticket for the away end…
However, unless it was another lie, Duncan Oldham also owned a share in Liverpool FC prior to the takeover. The £5000 from selling it probably paid a big part towards his well-videoed “jolly” around the USA. That, and what was left of his members’ £30 subscriptions and of what was left of the money he collected for Lauren, money she still doesn’t know he collected for her.
This share of course entitled him to a ticket for the final in Athens. Was this the ticket Steve was pictured holding in Athens? The one he didn’t have by the time the final kicked off? The one he didn’t have when he was lying to ITN about being 19 (he was 17) and when he was claiming he couldn’t get a ticket?
Dunk claimed Steve was holding Dunk’s ticket. He claimed Steve didn’t get in because Dunk used the ticket himself. (And a whole load of other lies and false claims too).
BUT: Duncan Oldham wasn’t in Athens. He lied about being there. He didn’t dare go to Athens – in case anyone spotted him. He stayed out of the way. Steve sold the Koptalk ticket.
Dunk carried on claiming he was there. But if he was, why no video of him bullying Steve from behind the camera, the familiar noise we heard throughout his jaunts to Canada and the US? Why no side-splitting humour from the wobbly-jowelled conman as he films his the under-age young companion getting the beers in? In Canada we saw fat Dunk testing how desperate for money a prostitute was. In the US we saw the ogre walking into Tom Hicks’ office, where he spent a grand total of five minutes. In La Manga, Spain, we saw the hippo-in-a-hat drinking beer and heard his voice as he filmed the Liverpool squad from miles away.
So in Athens we’d have expected hours, literally, of footage of the build up to the big day. “Joke” after tedious “joke” about the sights and sounds in Athens. We expected photos, if not videos, of Dunk and Steve from inside the stadium. But we saw nothing. Not a single thing. Sorry – we saw a photo of Steve holding that ticket, but no sign of Dunk. And we saw a 7-second video of some Liverpool fans, taken with a mobile phone, which showed no sign of Dunk.
Dunk wasn’t in Athens. Why does he continue to lie that he was? Why can’t he own up to his last remaining members? He’s not got the guts to own up. He carries on pretending, carries on looking more and more and more stupid.
You see Dunk’s forgotten about this next bit of what was said on his site. Back on the 9th of June, which in fact was only last Saturday, five days ago, one of his members asked Steve if we could see a little bit of the video coverage from Athens. Steve, home alone, had to think quick. What could he say?
#195411 – 09/06/07 11:19 PM Re: FAO: Steve [Re: Gavin]
ST3 ST3 Administrator
Originally Posted By: Gavin
As Dunk is on a mission in Spain and u might have a little bit of time on your hands.
Would you be able to upload the videos from your and Dunks antics in Athens. Really enjoyed you and Dunk up to antics in Montreal and Dallas!
Asked Dunk last week, but was really busy!
Hey Gavin I wish I could but he has taken the camcorder with him. There wasn’t much funny stuff on there anyway as we spent most of the time parted 😦
Oh no! What? He’s taken the camcorder with him? And he hadn’t already downloaded the footage to PC? Which is a very quick process anyway, considering the camcorder Dunk had bought, with its built-in hard disk.
Nobody believed a word of it. People pretend to believe it – but nobody believes it. Who in their right mind would take that as an excuse? And before you mention the victim of Dunk’s FA Cup Ticket Touting I said who in their RIGHT mind…
Next day and Fat Dunk saw the questions. He had a great answer, which he gave before locking the thread and stopping any more debate on the issue….
#195790 – 10/06/07 01:19 PM Re: FAO: Steve [Re: Gavin]
Dunk Dunk Administrator
Who wants to be reminded of a game we lost? I know I don’t
And again nobody in their right mind believe the lies from Koptalk’s owner.
THERE IS NO FOOTAGE OF DUNK IN ATHENS BECAUSE HE DID NOT GO TO ATHENS!
(Notice how he didn’t correct Steve about the camcorder? He read what Steve had said, and didn’t contradict him. Keep that in mind.)
Just to keep all the doubters quiet, all he has to do is prove the footage isn’t like the manuscript for his book. To prove it really exists, that it’s not imaginary.
BUT HE CAN’T!
As for Steve’s excuse – well Dunk tonight proved that either he or Steve is a liar. We already know that the pair of them are liars.
For one thing, we all saw footage on video recently where we heard Oldham’s flab-restricted bullying voice “hilariously” shouting at Steve, who’d just arrived with a new camcorder, a second camcorder “For Koptalk”. It was filmed in the living room of 5 Swan Avenue, a street soon to renamed “Scam Avenue”. So Koptalk has two camcorders, and sent three people to Athens (Katrina went too or so they claimed). But a couple of weeks later they’ve only got one camcorder, which went to Spain with the fat conman.
Then Dunk cocked up again.
He’s thick. And he forgot what he and Steve had said only last Saturday, posting this tonight….
#201513 – 16 minutes 20 seconds ago
NEXT PODCAST: Sunday 17th June
Dunk Dunk Administrator
There will be a new podcast episode from Valencia this Sunday.
We know the podcast has a cult following and we know that you get frustrated when we vanish for periods of time. As a result Steve will be flying out here for Sunday (it’s only £30 for a flight!).
Get your emails in and if you’ve emailed recently we’ll be reading yours out on that episode!
Fingers crossed all the cables connect up to our laptops
I’ve also asked him to bring a camcorder over to see if we can capture anything of interest at the Mestalla for you.
podcast2007 at koptalk.com
Oh dear oh dear Mr Duncan. You’ve messed up again. You should pay more attention. Your own members can actually work this out for themselves without any need to come to the blog for help. You forgot to remove the Trace.
(Cut and paste those links into your browser if you’re a Koptalk member).
It’s just not like Dunk to leave a Trace behind is it?
And we’ve screenshots too if anyone wants them.
So Dunk – Steve says you’ve got the camcorder in Spain with you. You say he’s got it back at your mam’s house in Wallsend. Make your lying minds up you pair of dopes!
Also Dunk’s cocked up about Steve flying out to Valencia for just the price of a Koptalk membership. Steve can’t fly to Valencia from Newcastle with Easyjet. Just like Easyjet don’t fly to Malta from Newcastle, they don’t fly to Valencia. Steve would have to fly from London or Bristol.
He could fly to Alicante from Newcastle though. Which is probably what Fat Dunk meant. And will he fly alone?
Was the mention of “cult following” a coincidence from fatty, or is he admitting that he makes his money from what amounts to a cult?
I’ve a feeling this latest message from Dunk might be in response to an email I sent to him.
Amongst other things, including suggesting he finally comes clean about all the lies so that maybe the blog could stop(well I’d had a crappy day and felt like giving him a chance) I spoke about some advice to his members:
…I suggested they ask for, or wait for, photographic proof that you were in Athens, or that you’ve been spending the past 8 or 9 days in Valencia. You’ll have tons of video footage taken by you and hundreds of photos. Internet access isn’t going to stop you editing the videos of Valencia together. It only needs to be 2 or 3 minutes.
I’d suggested recently to him that he could show us photos of him outside the Mestalla, and other landmarks in Valencia, given he’d been spending so much time there.
So now we’ve got to wait until Sunday.
Never mind – it’s only Thursday. So that gives Steve plenty of time to get those videos of Athens online.
Dunk really does think his members are as thick as he is.
Rich T must feel proud to be a part of this. DMH too. And “Kop_5”, who became “Kop”, before becoming “Mr X”, before changing yet again to “X”, must love his role as chief “Tribal Football” cutter and paster.
Some members are slowly realising. By themselves. They’ll find the blog sooner or later and all their suspicions will be confirmed.
But some members are actually as thick as Dunk thinks they are.
They pay £30 to be knowingly lied to. Is that thick or stupid? Even those tuneless untalented laughing stocks used to give the audience a laugh at their expense, deluded enough to think they have talent, on “Britain’s got Talent” don’t pay money to be made such fools of.
Maybe that’s a scam for ITV to look at in the future.
If you’re a Koptalk member, ask Dunk why there is still no footage of him in Athens. Ask him why Steve said Dunk had the camcorder this week, and why Dunk said Steve had it. And ask what happened to the second camcorder.
I know that a lot of Koptalk members won’t bother to ask though. They’ll just know, if they didn’t already, that Dunk and Steve are a pair of liars. They’ll not be renewing, and sooner or later they’ll find this blog.
We don’t have to do much to lose Dunk his members – he does it all by himself.