Koptalk's Duncan Oldham betrays Newcastle United

by Rupert Insider


Duncan Oldham has ditched Newcastle United.

This is what he said about Newcastle, today on the Koptalk’s thread “Newcastle Announce Ground Plans” :

They’re a bunch of divs. My lad’s got a ticket there and only ever goes when a big side are visiting. Fortunately for me we’re handing it back in this summer. “:)

How many of you know 8-year-old boys with season tickets, not to mention the 6-year-old he was when, allegedly, he first acquired it ? Will they even allow a child of that age into St. James’ Park alone?

Its a lie. The Newcastle season ticket is not his son’s, its his. Nor is it the only one he has. As we’ve seen many times before, he uses his kids remorselessly on the net – such as in correcting the damaging image that he is a Newcastle rather than an LFC supporter.

The lie is found in the conflict between his words today and in August 2005.


The Editor

24th August 2005

Newcastle are a massive club…….. I have loads of friends up in the north east, I even have family who live a stone’s throw from St James’ Park, I even have two season tickets at Newcastle – shocked? …….

Because I was spending a lot of time in Newcastle I put my name down on the season ticket waiting list for a bit fo fun really, never expecting to hear anything for years. To my surprise I was offered two tickets within a year and they’re bloody great seats, just 5 rows behind one of the goals…….

If I was Michael Owen I’d opt for Newcastle purely because I’d be happy playing for 50,000+ fans who appreciated me week in, week out. At Liverpool the Kop cared more about the petulant Robbie Fowler frozen out in the stands (following a run-in with Phil Thompson) than they did a younger, fitter, leaner more professional Michael who was delivering on the pitch. No wonder Michael got upset when the Kop rarely sang his name…..

Who’ll score the most goals and sell the most shirts? Peter Crouch or Michael Owen?…….”


The above article on Koptalk was followed a few days later on Oldham’s Newcastle United site Upthetoon.com which he ran under the pseudonym of “Barry“.


Aug 30 2005, 11:10 AM
Owen agrees Personal terms.

Our sister site http://www.koptalk.com (http://www.koptalk.com/) are reporting that ………

Having witnessed the former Liverpool ace arrive at Newcastle airport by private jet, KopTalk staff then followed Owen and his representatives to a secret location………….

UpTheToon.com sources claim …. Thanks to KopTalk.com for the use of the photos which they took earlier today ***.


The fact is that in 2005 he was hoping that Owen would go to Newcastle because it would be better for Oldham’s new Upthetoon.com site. Oldham had moved from Scarborough to Wallsend, nearer Newcastle, and saw the North East as the future centre of his porn and footie empire. Finally he would be able to give up all pretence of having an affection for Liverpool – a city and club he detested as much as they detested him.

But the blog and others interrupted the development of Newcastle and Spurs and Forest sites when we pointed out to Fusion BB that he was using their software without licence. And with no commercial angle there was no reason for Oldham to continue to go to St. James’ Park. He went occasionally when Liverpool were playing because that way he could claim to have seen them play without having to sit with LFC supporters.

But now the Koptalk revenues are just a trickle, the unaccounted funds from the Lauren appeal are running out and he just wasted ₤3,000+ on a trip to freezing Montreal to watch a boring hockey match. Gambling is not a reliable form of income and DSS benefits don’t stretch very far.

Pretending to be a football supporter is becoming too expensive for Duncan Oldham especially when he is in the down phase of one of his manic-depressive cycles.


5 Responses to “Koptalk's Duncan Oldham betrays Newcastle United”

  1. Yorkie Says:

    I wonder is that picture fatso himself?

    Maybe thats what attracts him to the toon… fellow fat bastards with a penchant for flaunting themselves naked to as large a public crowd as possible.

  2. rupertinsider Says:

    Transferred from another thread:

    # Johnny (Norn Iron) Says:
    April 4th, 2007 at 12:21 pm e

    Its good to see someone taking a stance against conmen like these two. I was looking around for a site and noticed koptalk but my god!! what a pair or sheisters!!!

    I feel sorry for the poor B@$t4rd$ that payed £30 of their hard earned cash for his Bull$hit site.

    He causes embarressment for every true Kopite, and the sooner he fades away the better.

    Keep up the good work!

  3. xabi Says:

    hockey games aren’t boring!

    now that i’ve said that, just wanted to suggest contacting itunes to get the koptalk podcast removed given the adult nature of some of the comments. i noticed it listed in the sports & rec section the other day and lofged an objection. would be nice of others followed suit.

  4. rupertinsider Says:

    “hockey games aren’t boring!”

    As a Habs fan of many years standing who also attends live games, I agree.

    You obviously missed the allusion. Oldham reckoned that none of his readers would be interested in even one clip of the match.

  5. nbryan1764 Says:

    I can answer part of his question:

    “Who’ll score the most goals and sell the most shirts? Peter Crouch or Michael Owen?…….”

    Not sure about the shirts but Crouchy has definitely scored the most goals!!! Since their espective signatures
    Crouchy 28 goals for us
    Little Mickey 7 goals

    And thats not to mention goals for Owens beloved England

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