If the bigger lie fails, go bigger still

Duncan Oldham, owner of Koptalk.coN, is a long-term persistent and pathological liar. This blog is littered with his many lies. And almost every time we show how Dunk has lied, or challenge him to prove he isn’t lying, he lies even more.

In a recent blog post, “If a lie doesn’t work, make it a bigger one“, I pointed out that Dunk had decided that not enough people were posting impressed replies to his claims about buying a van kitted out with plasma TVs, so he had to add another lies to it all. So he claimed he was buying two vans.

At the same time, Dunk was telling another huge lie. That he was going to be in Spain, covering the Barcelona game for Koptalk. He had open tickets to fly out there, he had tickets for the game. He was worried, in the middle of that fantasy, that he might not be able to go into the stadium if the Koptalk site was having some unnamed problem.

So I asked for him to prove it. All he had to do was take a photo of his flight tickets and his match tickets. And when he got to Spain, a photo of him both inside and outside the Nou Camp, holding a copy of the match programme and that day’s local paper. If he’s being honest, it’s a very, very simple task for him to carry out.

Unfortunately all of this came during one of his mad highs, his manic phase as Rupert pointed out. It’s during these phases that Dunk is at his (unintentional) funniest. Two vans full of thousands of pounds of satellite equipment is actually quite minor compared to his Chris Waddle fantasies. He claims Koptalk is his job, he claims he doesn’t get a wage, he claims every penny goes back into Koptalk. The money he stole from his disabled cousin Lauren must be running out now. He no longer has ads on the site he actually has anyone looking at. He just has his £30 membership fees, and it’s doubtful that many members still pay him. The most I’ve seen online recently is about 250. A lot of them won’t be renewing, they’re seeing out their membership instead. But if he manages to persuade 200 to renew (and that’s a very generous estimation from me), how much does that earn him? £6000? And he claims to be paying (depending on which mood he’s in) between £600 and £1200 a month for hosting. And he says he’s now using all of those photo-agency photos legally, and they cost about £200 per use.

In other words, he can’t afford a van, let alone a van equipped with two computers, a plasma TV , CCTV and a bed.  And obviously not two.

He’s trying to wriggle out of that bullshit by removing his “sticky” post about it, and taking the mention of it from the front page of his “free” site.  He’s hoping people forget – but they won’t.

The Barca lie is a bit more difficult to wriggle out of. The game kicks off in three days. What’s he going to do? And if Rupert is right, he’s going to be leaving the manic phase about now and he’ll be moving into his depressive phase.

Rupert actually said, in a comment:

Stand by for the “me dad committed suicide and I might” and “they’re attacking my kids” and “I might pack it all in” when the depressive phase kicks in.

Well, it didn’t take long at all. Duncan needs an excuse to explain to his remaining believers why he’s not actually in Barcelona on Wednesday. When he was actually in France, he was able to provide proof because he got some photos taken of himself. The thicko he is, he forgot to take off his S*n hat and so ruined the pretence that he really is a Liverpool fan. But he can’t get photos taken of him in Barcelona – because he’s not got match tickets, and he’s not got plane tickets.

So can you guess what kind of excuse he’s come up with? I bet you aren’t far off the right answer…

#101247 – Today at 03:54 PM Barca trip in doubt
Dunk Dunk Administrator
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 16042
Her indoors is in a right state this morning as her Aunty (60) died of cancer during the night 😦

The funeral is this week yet we’re due to fly to Spain soon. Her mum says she shouldn’t go to the funeral and should go to Spain but the Mrs is in a state.

Meanwhile Steve’s aunty was diagnosed with cancer again a couple of days ago and has to go into hospital on Tuesday for an emergency operation. The lad’s had a brave face on but he cracked up last night. She also looks after his gran who is starting to lose the plot and forget who’s who so someone needs to keep an eye on her while his Aunty is in hospital.

There’s four of us scheduled to go to Spain. I’ll be gutted if they can’t go even though I understand that family comes first ALWAYS.

Everyone wants Steve to go as there’s little he can do here but the Mrs? Not so sure what will happen there.

Who dare ask for the tickets first if people drop out

Chins up Steve

Dunk – you posted that just before 4.00 in the afternoon, so why are you saying your wife is “in a right state this morning”?

And how on earth do you know when the funeral is? She died during the night, early hours of Sunday morning no doubt. I may be wrong, but I’m pretty certain you’ll not be able to sort the funeral out until Monday.  Perhaps one of our readers can confirm this for me though.

You aren’t even with your wife any more! You admitted it last summer, or did you forget? You only get access to your kids at the weekends now – you told your readers, during a rant about “Fathers for Justice”. She’s left you – admit it and move on.

It’s always the same isn’t it? You get shown up for being a selfish liar and you react by trying to get sympathy. Your believers flock towards you with kind words, you sit there mopping your brow hoping it diverts them from the truth.

You’ve no more had a bereavement than you had Barcelona tickets. And the more you add lies onto lies the more stupid you look. How many more people are slowly realising how much of a liar you are?


25 Responses to “If the bigger lie fails, go bigger still”

  1. fat_boy_fat Says:

    If everything that happens to his family is true then its worse than a whole years worth of Eastenders.
    Soap script writers wouldnt add half the shit he spouts because they would think that no-one is that thick to beleive all that bollox happens to one family.
    In fact i would rather watch Eastenders back to back for 24 hours than pay to watch the crap he comes out with.

    You could clearly play a fat Baldrick in BlackAdder and come up with all these brilliant cunning plans!

  2. Johnny H Says:

    HA HA.
    I don’t mean to sound callous, and I know what close family bereavement is like. But IF it’s true, then they probably won’t even know who the executors of the estate are yet.
    The executors would then be the ones sorting out things like policies, the funeral etc.
    Even if they’d somehow managed to find out who the executors were in those few hours since she died, you can’t even begin to arrange a funeral until you’ve obtained a death certificate, and that death certificate can’t be obtained until you’ve had a signed doctor’s certificate from the hospital where she died.
    No way do you get those things sorted during a Sunday night.
    There’s only one place this could all have happened…..inside Dunk’s mind.

  3. koppy73 Says:

    pretty obvious to me its all been made up. johhny h’s argument is pretty much water tight. i just think its absolutly disgusting that someone can make up stories of family deaths and serious illness’s when there are many thousands of people in the world who are truly having to deal with such things. you really are a self centred bullshitting twat aren’t you oldham? in fact..if i didn’t know better i’d say you are related to chemical ali of gulf war fame.

  4. Rashid's penis pump Says:

    That’s seriously sick. Dunk has problems.

  5. scousenproud Says:

    any other normal human being would say im taking the week off we`ve just had a death in the family. i cant use the barca tickets , if anyone can use them, contact me asap. what a nutjob he is

  6. corbylpfc Says:

    for someone thats so busy and cut up with family shit,he took time out today to leave a message on both my phones! only because i cancelled my membership thru paypal and told him that id tap his jaw for him if i ever see him! this was after a week of me sending him polite messages to get back to me,my patience ran out to day i emailed him and said hew was a lying fat c.nt . and that i was reporting him! he really is a fat piece of shit !

  7. chapeau du soleil Says:

    his family seemingly have worse luck than Elton John’s mates.
    Lying bastard

  8. An Observer Says:

    Wait for his editorial in a couple of weeks going on about how some nasty people on the internet are mocking his family deaths.

    Daft bastard.

  9. kraptalk user Says:

    koppy73, i believe you mean Comical Ali. “The damn infidels are no were near bagdad. No they are not bombs exploding outside this complex, it is merely Saddam jumping up and down in laughter at the infidels.”
    Sort of reminds me of Dunkin Doughboy.

  10. Tubby Says:

    Dunk you really are thick. In all ways.

  11. Tubby Says:

    Dunk spotted in his KT van on way to grieving ex-missus:

  12. corbylpfc Says:

    very funny tubby !!!!!!!!!!

  13. Insider Insider Says:

    Tubby – your pic appeared on Koptalk.

  14. Barry Wom Says:

    Fatty is great isn’t he? I think I’m going to write a sitcom based around him – just think of the material you could have from that – I’ll get Ricky Gervais ini to play fatty “Are you having a laugh? Is he having a laugh”!!!

    fucking quality oldham, you sick fuck.

  15. Tubby Says:

    It would actually make a good TV show, maybe call it “The Kabin”. Thing is you wouldnt have to make any of it up.

  16. lfc_michael Says:

    The rate he’s getting through relatives, he can’t have many more left to help him run his conman outfit.

  17. Scouse Says:

    corbylpfc Says:
    “for someone thats so busy and cut up with family shit,he took time out today to leave a message on both my phones!”

    Corby take the voicemail and send it in, more proof of threatening behaviour from the fat one

  18. corbylpfc Says:

    where do i send them 2?

  19. Koptalksucks.com Says:

    Contact Us

    Insider Insider “Insider Insider” – Koptalk.Insider @ gmail.com


    Insider Insider “Rupert Insider” – rupertinsider @ gmail.com

  20. corbylpfc Says:

    ive been in contact with RUPERT,IVE SENT HIM ALL THE EMAILS

  21. rupertinsider Says:

    And I sent them to Insider because im on the road.

  22. corbylpfc Says:

    ok let me know what you think i should do next

  23. Insider Insider Says:

    coprbylpfc: I’ll have a look at the emails soon. Thanks for sending them in.

  24. Chunka Says:

    Whats Johnny H got to do with this?

  25. corbylpfc Says:

    no problem mate

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