If a lie doesn't work, make it a bigger one

When Dunk’s at the fantasy-island stage of his lunatic cycle it’s a laugh-a-minute on Koptalk. Not an intentional laugh-a-minute of course, but boy does he make people laugh.

Over the years Dunk’s on-line scamming tendencies have come to the attention of more and more people. However, because most Liverpool FC sites just want to get on with being Liverpool FC sites his scams become irrelevant to members of those sites. You leave Koptalk, you join a new site, you save yourself thirty quid. In the back of your mind you know that others are being ripped off, but there’s little you can do about it. Of course if someone mentions Koptalk on the site you now use then you’ll put them straight: “Watch out for Koptalk – it’s a site run by a scammer”. In fact I saw a message like that this week on the Liverpool Echo’s forum. For years though it was a minority of LFC-supporting net users who knew all about how bad Koptalk really was. Now, I think it’s safe to say, the majority of Reds on the net know all about Duncan Oldham’s Koptalk scams. And how that pisses him off.

Last summer Dunk was finding the stick difficult to take (from a blog he says he didn’t read). So he made up all kinds of stupid stories. Not the ones he makes up where he pretends to be “The Wallet” or “The Informer” or “Pat McCat” and suchlike, linking us with as many players as he possibly can in case any of them actually happen. No I’m talking about the Melwood shite he made up. And no, I don’t mean the Melwood shite he made up involving a bust-up between Rafa and Craig Bellamy at the training ground. I am talking about Duncan Oldham’s claim that he was buying a house, for £300,000, from Chris Waddle. A house that Chris Waddle lived in overlooking Melwood! At around the same time he said that he was buying a hotel in Liverpool too. This would be themed as a Liverpool FC hotel. He even offered free overnight accomodation for all paying members of his site, whenever they wanted it!

Six months later and he still hadn’t bought a house in Liverpool. He couldn’t – he’s not welcome in the city. So instead, brushing the Chrissie Waddle house under the carpet, he made claims he was buying property in New York. He pretended he was posting from the flight into New York, using his forum to ask his “friend” Smoove to pick him up from the airport. Then, for some odd reason, he felt he had to stop posting as Dunk. He could post from the plane, but not from a cyber-cafe or even his mate’s house. So he spent the next five or six days logged on using his daughter’s username, Steve’s username, or one he made up especially – Jordie.

He’s fighting like mad to save his site – I’ll give him that. But the emphasis is on “mad”. He’s ditched the Melwood and New York claims and is now buying a van. It’s already been mentioned on here, but because nobody actually believes him he’s got to big it up.

When nobody believed him about buying a house near Melwood, he introduced the Chris Waddle angle. Now he’s decided that he’s buying two vans! Dunk – nobody believes you were ever buying one van, so how much of a dickhead do you look now with the claims about two vans?

THICK.

And he’s now going out to Spain for the Barcelona game. “Some time in the next few days.” He must have his own private jet then, seeing as he can fly out when he gets round to it. “Shall we go today Steve, or shall we go tomorrow? Morning or afternoon?”

It looks like we’re in for a few days of fun as Dunk tries very hard to pretend he’s in Barcelona. He doesn’t actually dare leave “Koptalk HQ” for long enough to buy a paper right now of course(fearing the impending raid) – so he’s not going to leave the country.

#100618 –
Barcelona coverage on KopTalk
Dunk Dunk Administrator
koptalk.coN
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 15956
Steve and I are flying out to Spain some time in the next few days. We’ll be updating the site from Barca ahead of the Champions League clash at the Nou Camp.
(Yeah, right)

We’re hoping that we can upload some photos and video clips for you in the run up to the match and also after the match hence our excuse to go on this jolly

We’ll also be recording our podcasts from Barcelona so they should be available as normal (hopefully). However, they’ll be slightly different but they’ll contain the usual stuff to help you get to sleep at night (Hands up if anyone’s actually listened to any of his podcasts in recent months. Not many.)

The site will be updated but there may be disruption due to internet coverage over there. However KopTalk HQ will be manned by both Katie and Emma as normal so they will be on the forums and in direct contact with us as normal. Smoove will also be online for the graveyard shift. (“Emma” never joined Koptalk after being warned off. But Dunk can’t admit that, so he goes on pretending. He probably means his fellow-scammer, his mam)

Although we’ve got tickets for the match, priority will always be given to the site so we won’t attend the Nou Camp if we’re required on the site, simple as.(So, you’ve got no tickets then? What kind of nonsense statement is that? If you’d got tickets you’d have sold them at way above face value anyway, because you’re a well-known ticket tout. Actually, why not post a picture of them on the site if you’ve really got some? Go on – or are you really making it up? Post pics of your plane tickets too fatty. If you’ve got any.)

While in Spain you will be able to contact us via all the normal methods. Beware though, if there’s any handbags exchanged on the forums while we’re away the girls will lock you out until we get back (In other words, he’ll lock you out until he’s stopped pretending to be in Barcelona.)

We’ll try and get some good stuff for you. That is the whole point of going (You aren’t going. Looking forward to you proving us wrong with photos of you both inside and outside the Nou Camp, holding a programme and a copy of that day’s local paper, showing that tatoo of yours.)

Now for some real bullshit…

On Friday we’ll collect our new van (I think we’re getting two now – 1 now and 1 in March as I managed to get £8,500 knocked off one of them!). Once we have that we’ll show you photos of ‘before and after’. We’re already drawing up the plans that include:

* 1 or 2 computers

* CCTV / webcam for live streaming to the site

* 1 or 2 tv’s – maybe 1 plasma depending on the weight

* digital tv reception for Sky Sports News

* VHF or UHF radio system for contact between ourselves etc

* broadcasting gear for KopTalk radio

* Steve’s bed!

* My microwave!

Much depends on how we’re going to power it all. It’s exciting stuff and with a bit of luck we may get our first proper unit on the road before the season is out.

If you have any experience of van conversions, feel free to email me.

Thanks all

_________________________
EMAIL: dunk2007@koptalk.coN

It’s got to be one of the funniest moments in Dunk’s bullshitting history. Where do you start? Two vans? Why? Of all the Koptalk “staff”, only Dunk (who won’t leave the house) and Steve can drive. Dunk’s wife left him a while back and his mum couldn’t see over the steering wheel anyway. Katrina can’t drive, and everyone else exists only in Dunk’s deranged mind.

The other stuff is laughable. 1 or 2 computers – why so unsure Dunk? With all this money, if you need two you buy two. You don’t need to economise. CCTV or a webcam – do you actually know the difference? Actually those nice policemen I’ve been in touch with might be able to show you their vans with CCTV in them. I know Merseyside Police have them, not sure about the forces in your neck of the woods.

1 or 2 TVs. Again – why the need to compromise? If you need two, get two. And for anyone else I’d say a plasma TV was a little over-the-top for the back of a van, but you’ve got those problems with your eyes haven’t you? So you’ve claimed many times in the past. You can’t see how thick you look for example.

Digital TV reception for Sky Sports News. Now earlier in the week it was Sky Sports, now it’s just Sky Sports News. So you’re not getting Sky fitted now are you? Just Freeview?

How about the VHF / UHF radio for contact between yourselves? Do you mean those £10 walkie-talkies or do you mean the more sophisticated equipment. Like the stuff people make insurance claims for after claiming they’d been stolen. £750 all-told wasn’t it, or so I’m told.

This is the best one, arguably: “Broadcasting Equipment for Koptalk Radio”. Dunk, you use a microphone on your PC and broadcast it over the net. You don’t have “Broadcasting Equipment”. I suppose one or two gullibles will have fallen for it, but as a package this really is a good way of showing your members what a lying tit you are.

He also put this picture up:

The lie-infested Koptalk.coN

Dunk – that’s soooo last year. We’ve already done it for you…

Koptalk - the coN

Dunk had earlier spoken of his van plans, in which he finally confirmed he wasn’t buying the house outside Melwood (not that he ever was, but at least he admitted it this time).

#99059 – Yesterday at 03:19 PM Vivaro For Next Season
Dunk Dunk Administrator
koptalk.coN
****
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 15860

I’ve just bought one of these for the site for next season. Basically we’re going to convert the interior into a mobile office with internet access, digital television (Sky Sports etc) and a CCTV system that will allow us to stream live video content from anywhere in the UK.

This will make a big difference to the way we can update the site. For example, we will be able to attend Melwood and stream live images back from the gate to you on deadline days.(But you’d have been able to do this from Melwood if you’d bought that house. Remember, not only did it belong to Chris Waddle, but you were given free use of it until the sale had gone through!) We’ll also be able to upload photos to the site within minutes of taking them. We will also be able to capture video and upload clips to the site also within minutes.

When the van is equipped and ready we’ll add some photos to the site for you to see what it looks like.

Steve will also be able to kip in it which will save on hotel fees

Obviously we won’t be leaving it unattended when we’re parked up and at night we’ll have to take all the gadgets out. Still it should be fun!
_________________________
EMAIL: dunk2007@koptalk.coN

I like the way that Dunk’s fantasy even includes his worries that he’ll get it broken into. YOU AREN’T GETTING ONE, LOON!

Even Katrina fell for it:

#99065 – Yesterday at 03:27 PM Re: Vivaro For Next Season [Re: Dunk]
Katie Katie Administrator
koptalk.coN
***

Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 2344
Loc: UK
No more taking pictures on camera phones then hehe
——————–
#99067 – Yesterday at 03:30 PM Re: Vivaro For Next Season [Re: Katie]
Mac7777 Mac7777
KopTalk Member
Registered: 01/05/07
Posts: 29
Loc: Mountjoy
Looks great.. you’ll be like THE A-TEAM
(Hmmm – 29 posts?)
—————–
#99073 – Yesterday at 03:36 PM Re: Vivaro For Next Season [Re: Mac7777]
Dunk Dunk Administrator
koptalk.coN
****
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 15860

FLMAO (At your own joke?)

Steve is Murdock
——————–
#99079 – Yesterday at 03:45 PM Re: Vivaro For Next Season [Re: Dunk]
Robby Robby
Gold Member
**

Registered: 03/24/03
Posts: 265
Loc: The One Eyed City
Am I own my own here or did anyone else think who the (oops)does Vivaro play for?
(Coming soon – an admission from Dunk in response to this post).
———————-
#99080 – Yesterday at 03:46 PM Re: Vivaro For Next Season [Re: Robby]
Mac7777 Mac7777
KopTalk Member
Registered: 01/05/07
Posts: 29
Loc: Mountjoy
Sounds like another Spanish kid
(Does it Dunk?)
———————
#99086 – Yesterday at 03:51 PM Re: Vivaro For Next Season [Re: Murielson]
Micka06 Micka06
Gold Member
***

Registered: 03/10/06
Posts: 116
Loc: Rathvilly, Ireland
quality lads love the way the site is progressing. keep up the good work
(I see you’re based in Ireland. He loves ripping off people from Ireland – watch out if he tries to sell you anything. Especially balls.)
———————–
#99096 – Yesterday at 04:04 PM Re: Vivaro For Next Season [Re: Micka06]
Dunk Dunk Administrator
koptalk.coN
****

Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 15860 Cheers

We can have a red one but not until April as we’d have to order it or we can have a white one which is in stock now so we could have that next week.

I had my heart set on red but I want to crack on. What do you think? (SINGS: Dream, dream, dream… )
———————-

#99101 – Yesterday at 04:07 PM Re: Vivaro For Next Season [Re: Robby]
Dunk Dunk Administrator
koptalk.coN
****

Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 15860
Originally Posted By: Robby
Am I own my own here or did anyone else think who the (oops)does Vivaro play for?

That’s why I did it like that (So, in other words, a misleading headline? You wanted people to click it thinking they were going to see something else? It’s the Koptalk way. A headline implying one thing but often showing nothing more than bullshit. This was no different)
———————
#99149 – Today at 12:02 AM Re: Vivaro For Next Season [Re: Murielson]
Dunk Dunk Administrator
koptalk.coN
****

Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 15860
We’ll collect it first week of March. Looking forward to kitting it out.. well I’m looking forward to others kitting it out

It would have been nice to take to Barca.
———————–
#99169 – Today at 01:06 AM Re: Vivaro For Next Season [Re: Dunk]
honk honk
KopTalk Member
***

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 235
Loc: West Wales
(Time for a little bit of pissing on bonfires…)
I am sorry but why on earth have you bought a vivaro?

They are very common.
They are known not to be reliable especially after two years
They are worth zero in 4 years.
They are made by Vauxhall (well someone makes them for Renault, Nissan & Vauxhall and another make if i remember correctly)

I have just bought my third Mercedes Vito and find them great. A company I work for have 7 vivaro’s and after the owner has been in my new vito, he is selling all his and buying vito’s as and when their HP runs out.

If you havent signed for it, pull out and buy a good van. Its also worth looking at the VW Transporter.

Mind you they are both more expensive than the Vivaro, so I suppose to keep subs down your better going for the Box on wheels! 😉
————————
#99181 – Today at 01:44 AM Re: Vivaro For Next Season [Re: honk]
Dunk Dunk Administrator
koptalk.coN
****

Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 15860
lol… great post.

I’ll change it after 2 years for another. As I won’t be doing much driving, I don’t care if it’s a shed! When I drive, I look after number one
——————-

#99186 – Today at 01:52 AM Re: Vivaro For Next Season [Re: Dunk]
Captain Scarlet Captain Scarlet
KopTalk Member
***

Registered: 07/05/05
Posts: 196
Loc: Cloudbase
I must say I am very impressed with your growing media empire. Moving into the world of outside broadcasts. Live to the minute updates. Coverage of the last transfer window was amazing – looks like you are set to better it.

PS ensure your hub caps are attached well.
——————-
#99187 – Today at 02:00 AM Re: Vivaro For Next Season [Re: Captain Scarlet]
Dunk Dunk Administrator
koptalk.coN
****
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 15860

Well we’re still a fans site so we can’t really muscle in anywhere but we can try and update the site faster for you guys. We really do plough everything back into the site but we couldn’t do it without you guys (No you don’t, liar. How did you pay for the cars and plasmas for yourself then? You don’t take a wage you say. You put it all back into the site you say. You don’t work, so where does the money come from? You’re a liar, and a shit one at that.)
————————

#99291 – Today at 06:07 AM Re: Vivaro For Next Season [Re: chrispy]
Dunk Dunk Administrator
koptalk.coN
****

Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 15860
Originally Posted By: chrispy
Dunk, for less than £2k you can get it wrapped with any graphics/photo’s etc. We’re getting our Ford Transit Connect wrapped in a few months and they look superb. On the gadget front, if you put a pizza oven in there i’ll gladly volunteer to watch it each and every night to save you taking out the gadgets.

Class…. you’re easy to please

Who’s doing the work for you? We could do with some design ideas. The only thing that puts me off doing it is it can’t be used covertly.
———————
#99294 – Today at 06:14 AM Re: Vivaro For Next Season [Re: Dunk]
Razor Razor
Gold Member
Registered: 09/05/06
Posts: 39
Loc: Behind you with a Banjo!

Planning to use it covertly after you’ve announced buying it on a very popular website? (Granted, it requires membership to be on here, but come on….) (I think Razor is winding Dunk up. Do you? Does Dunk?)
_________________________
Paranoid people are simply someone who holds all the facts.

————————–
#99295 – Today at 06:17 AM Re: Vivaro For Next Season [Re: Razor]
Dunk Dunk Administrator
koptalk.coN
****

Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 15860
Nah, it aint a secret… what I mean is, there’s times when we have arrived at places and pretended to be thick tourists. For example, who recalls when Steve got lifted at Newcastle airport when we were monitoring the Owen to LFC or Newcastle saga? We couldn’t have pleaded ignorance in a kitted out van

I was able to just drive off and leave him….
———————-

Dunk – you don’t need to pretend to be thick. You are. Very, very much so. That Owen to LFC saga – was that the one where you pretended to be Newcastle fan Barry for your Newcastle fan site? The one that failed to take off it was so crap?

Dunk – if you’ve got the money to buy a van then you’ve got the money to pay Lauren all that you owe her. She’s not been well recently, again, and would no doubt be able to put those thousands and thousands of pounds to better use for herself than you’re doing. Pay her what you owe her – it’s sickening that anyone would steal money from their own disabled cousin.

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6 Responses to “If a lie doesn't work, make it a bigger one”

  1. Tubby Says:

    Koptalk van spotted near Halifax, moving SW at speed:

  2. Shaggy Shagger Says:

    Dunk’s a piece of shite! Absolute garbage of a man!

  3. rupertinsider Says:

    He`s in his element with the Portugal story. Those of you who are new to the scene are now seeing what he was like for years and how he built up his site. He wades into any dirty gossip he can find. If he is late to the story he will then deny its true and claim he has the real scoop from inside sources. If he is early with the story he will say it is true because he has inside sources.

    He developed his style from years trying to copy the S*n and NoW and tried very hard to write his stuff on KT so that it would be picked up by the “nationals” as he calls them. He tried for two years to sell made-up muck about Fowler and McManannaman to the S *n.

    He has no inside sources at LFC with the team or with anyone remotely connected. He stands on purple wheelie bins at Melwood to catch a glimpse of them. He is a liar.

    You are now seeing – with this Portugal story – a serial liar in action. He lies to get people to pay him good money for more lies.

    Good on those KT members who are questioning his sources and posting cynical put-downs that he’s too thick to notice. But we do.

    He’s in a manic phase right now – as I predicted when he wrote his last teary “pity me” diatribe a couple of weeks ago. This means that his stories will be getting taller for a few days and he will overeat the meat pies and over drink Woodpecker cider.

    Stand by for the “me dad committed suicide and I might” and “they’re attacking my kids” and “I might pack it all in” when the depressive phase kicks in.

  4. LouisRoberto Says:

    I hope I see him in Barca. I’ll give him a good kick up the “Ramblas”

    It’s amazing what he can buy when his only “job” is a website that ploughs all the money back.

    Don’t any of the monkeys on KT ever question his “wealth”?

  5. Insider Insider Says:

    Rupert said:

    Stand by for the “me dad committed suicide and I might” and “they’re attacking my kids” and “I might pack it all in” when the depressive phase kicks in.

    Shall we start calling him Mystic Rupe?

    In the shout box just now, in response to a question asking when he was going to be setting off for Barca:

    [Dunk] not today, monday or tuesday now i guess. steve’s aunt is seriously ill and the wife’s aunt died overnight so things are a bit up in the air just now but im trying to convince them that they should get away

    B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T – about the aunts and the trip to Barcelona.

  6. Barry Wom Says:

    how fucking brilliant would it be to bump into fat arse in barca?!!! fucking hell, it would make my trip that … shame it’s all bullshit!!!


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