No receipts as Alder Hey Konman hopes we'll forget

Right, that’s the Christmas Day truce over with, now it’s time for the Boxing Day let-him-off-fairly-lightly phase. I’m still hopeful that the owner of Koptalk will finally see some sense and hold his hands up instead of making up wilder and even more ubelievable lies.

What’s Dunk the Konman been up to this past few days? How has the Koptalk owner and anti-Red been spending Christmas Day and the build-up?

First of all, he’s decided to remove all evidence of his Alder Hey appeal from his site. The sticky threads about the appeal have gone in light of some criticism here. A notice late last week said that the receipts would (finally) go on show at Koptalk “over Christmas”, but that notice has now gone. Imagine how much more positive the publicity would be if Dunk could spend just five minutes shoving the four or five receipts onto a scanner before uploading the images onto his site. All that proof of how he’d gone to Argos and spent cash (not vouchers) on the goods. Also the added proof from screenshots of how he’d used cash (not vouchers) at Amazon, and the other site he used for buying stuff.

He collected £2000 from his site members, yet he’s still not been able to show us any evidence that he actually paid the amount he’d claimed. He’s not been able to show us a receipt from Argos dated after the start of his appeal – is that because he bought the goods at trade prices? Is it because the telly was one of his own old ones? Or was it even knocked off? I can come up with a long list of reasons as to why he won’t (or can’t) show us a single receipt for the two grand spent, but none of them are what I’d call good reasons. Dunk can’t come up with any reasons, not one at all.

So apart from making himself look even more dodgy than ever, what else has Dunk been up to this past few days?

Last week he realised that his pathetic and needless “I’m in New York sewing up a property deal” was causing him some problems. Thick Dunk had been posting away happily on the Friday, watching the CL draw from his shed at 11.30am, and posting at occasional intervals including some on his “FAO Smoove” thread – the one where he made out he was on his way into New York as he typed. It was crap even by his standards, but early evening UK time saw him post as “Dunk” for the last time for a few days. He’d told his drooling visitors (and a couple who knew he was bullshitting and helped him look an even bigger fool by feeding him some bait) that he was going to be out of the country for 9 days. That meant he’d not be home until Sunday, Christmas Eve.

For some reason he decided that “Dunk” had to stop posting on the Friday night. Laughable really. In his little fantasy world he had the funds, not to mention access to technology that is as yet unreleased to anyone else in the world (including Bill Gates) to make posts on his crappy forum from the skies above the Atlantic. Yet, when he got to New York he couldn’t get onto his forums at all. His fantasy idol Smoove had arranged through his brother for Dunk to become a New York real estate investor, yet Smoove couldn’t provide him 10 minutes on Firefox or IE to log into his forums. His fantasy US cellphone didn’t stretch to internet access, his PDA or laptop lost its fantasy wi-fi capablilites in New York. The renowned glutton wasn’t able to make use of a single internet cafe. He was there for nine days yet wasn’t even able to log on for 1 minute. And considering he’d bought this house to move into himself, under his fanstastic plan of leaving the running of Koptalk to his 17-year-old stepbrother, it’s hard to believe he couldn’t access the net at all for a week, even if you are gullilbe to fall for the rest. Every time he has one of his fantasy “brain”waves he makes himself look more stupid than ever before. Pillock.

The nine days was soon cut short, but not before he’d created another new alias. His play on “Geordie” had us all laughing – no, it did – as he came up with a username of “Jordy”. Out of the blue this new member had suddenly started posting, with an uncanny ability to sound exactly like the fat owner of the least-loved “LFC” website out there. As always Dunk’s “Jordy” idea was one he realised later on, after coming out of his panicky trance, he should have avoided using. Not as bad as his fairytale of New York, but still a crappy fantasy. No sooner had he invented “Jordy” had he killed him off.

If Dunk had a budget for his fantasies he’d employ a continuity assistant. These are the people in the film and TV world who make sure that mistakes in make up and clothing don’t creep into the show. Say an actor gets his face ripped off by a fat conman in one scene, well his wounds have to be consistent throughout the rest of the film or programme. Scenes shown five minutes apart in the final production are sometimes shot five months apart – so the continuity expert makes sure that when it all gets put together the wounds are the same size and in the same place.

With a continuity assistant Dunk’s inability to count would be less of a problem for his fantasies. His poor memory of what he posts in one of his afternoons of insanity would not kick him in the arse later. He was back from his nine-day fantasy excursion to buy his new home in New York after seven days – either because he forgot he’d said nine days or because he’d forgotten how to count to nine.

Maybe he’s got a new continuity assistant lined up – he reckons he’s “employing” yet another members of “staff” soon – he was delighted to reveal this to his most gullible side-kick, the one with a crush on Katie…


#58092 – Today at 03:07 PM Richt
Dunk Dunk Administrator
KopTalk.com
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Registered: 20/08/04
Posts: 13771
Hey Rich… we have a new girl starting on the forums this week… you’ll be like a dog on heat trust me

Dunk reads this blog, but I haven’t got the heart to explain about the differences between dogs and bitches and what “on heat” actually means. Last week he thought he was about to become a Dad again, but he’d forgotten his wife left him ages ago and the only women he’s been near are his myspace girls. And again, those were just a figment of his bullshitter’s imagination. He’s probably heard the story of the nativity and mixing that tale up with his other fantasies decided it’s quite normal for fat men who live with their mothers and don’t leave the house to be able to become dads without having a partner.

His continuity assistant might also remind him of how he wanted to end Peter Crouch’s career last summer by exposing him for talking exclusively to the S*n, flying in the face of the boycott of that rag by the Reds of the world. He told us he had a tape of Crouch talking to that particular publication. He told us he’d use it to end Crouch’s Anfield career when he felt like it. Then he snapped out of his fantasy world and remembered there was no such tape. He’d made it all up again, in another attempt to defend himself for using the S*n to make stories, hits and money.

Now he’s hoping those members left behind on his site don’t realise how vindictive he was prepared to be…

#58093 – Today at 03:12 PM Peter Crouch
Dunk Dunk Administrator
KopTalk.com
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Registered: 20/08/04
Posts: 13771 Would you be happy to see Peter Crouch leave for £7million? I know I wouldn’t.

I was gutted when we signed him because I thought it was a joke that we shelled out £1million less than what we received for Owen on him. But I tell you what, I’ve eaten my hat!

He might not be the most graceful of players but there’s no hiding the stats. I feel a bit gutted for him with him losing his place but Bellamy and Kuyt would be my chosen strikeforce. Saying that though, I’d like to see him figure more given chance.

I don’t know what it is but sometimes he never looks like scoring yet he appears at just the right moment to slot one home.

I don’t believe the media reports that suggest Rafa is considering him. Admittedly EVERYONE has a price but Crouch isn’t a player I’d want to see leave.

This expert on football shows his ignorance of how transfer fees work based on how much of a player’s contract is still to run. No wonder his made-up transfer rumours are so hard to believe.

He also spoke on Christmas Day about what he’d got for Christmas. A box set of James Bond DVDs and a saxaphone. No doubt he’s hoping to use the 007 films to help him find out some new spying techniques for his wheelie-bin assisted Melwood trips. As for the saxaphone, he wants us now to all believe that as well has being fluent in (I think) four languages, he’s also a musician! I’m not saying he’s easy to see straight through (well I am, because he is) but he posted about how John Aldridge was on Sky singing Ring of Fire, then shortly afterwards, when another “act” on the Sky “Y Factor” show had been accompanied by a sax he was claiming he’d got one for Christmas.

In fact he spent Christmas alone – well, with his mam, but not with his kids. They’d had a couple of days with him earlier in the week but were spending the big day with their mum, Dunk’s estranged wife. And if you believe Dunk, even Steve wasn’t nearby for Christmas…

#57861 – Yesterday at 05:12 PM FAO DUNK
Kop_5 Kop_5
Honorary Member
***

Registered: 11/06/04
Posts: 13503
Will the ball rating system be coming back ?Also when you click on your user name it has ‘send a pm’in the list will they be coming back or is that their just to tease us?
– – – – – – – – – – – – –
#58071 – Today at 01:30 PM Re: FAO DUNK [Re: Kop_5]
Dunk Dunk Administrator
KopTalk.com
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Registered: 20/08/04
Posts: 13771

It’s up to Steve really. I’ll mention it to him.

Kop5 – Dunk’s not going to bring back the PM facility, because he knows that word would spread to those members still unaware that there is a blog exposing Dunk as an anti-Red, and that all the missing names they’ve been unable to find have now gone to other sites. And Steve won’t get a say in it, because the dictatorial Dunk won’t allow him a say in it.

It also looks like he’s dropped the free SMS service too. Some members say that was the only thing they really got out of the Gold Club, especially overseas members, but even that was never reliable. Nowhere near everyone entitled to them would get them as Dunk did his best to keep the costs down. Complaints started appearing again recently, members wondering where their messages had got to. Dunk’s almost certainly run out of credit again, and without the means to steal from his members in such a lucrative way he’s not got the money to get more credit. Rather than admit this, he blames it on the software.

Don’t forget, he’s got numerous PCs in the Koptalk offices (shed) and yet he has trouble installing the SMS software on more than on computer. If it doesn’t work on one PC, surely it can’t be that hard to try it one of the many others…

#57292 – 23/12/06 01:55 PM SMS TECHNICAL PROBLEM
KOPTALK.COM KOPTALK.COM Administrator
Team Member
***

Registered: 28/07/03
Posts: 26845
We are experiencing a problem trying to launch the software that sends out SMS alerts to our members. We have just made contact with the software providers and are waiting for them to call us back. As a result the team line-up may be delayed or not sent out at all today.

We hope to have the problem resolved within the next hour but we’ll update you either way by 3pm.

UPDATE: Still no response from the providers. We will continue chasing this up.

Edited by Dunk (23/12/06 07:31 PM)

I wouldn’t rely on getting any SMS updates today either – although if you complain he’ll try and send you one using his own phone so it’s probably worth a try just to make him spend his last few pennies.

I wouldn’t expect to see any Alder Hey receipts either. He’s not managed to steal the whole £2000, probably only making about £800 out of this, so it’s not as bad as the five-figure sum he stole from his Lauren charity appeal – but he still should have registered this appeal, like he should have registered the Lauren one. In the New Year we want to try and pursue this in more detail, so we still want to hear from you about what you donated and what you were told it was for.

The above was written on Boxing Day, then I got kind of sidetracked thanks to the temptations of Christmas booze and food, having to walk to the shop to buy the only batteries we didn’t already have thousands of in the house, playing games with the youngest, eating and drinking a bit more…

So I’ll carry on today, and there are still no Alder Hey receipts. And it’s not like I’ve missed them in an avalanche of posts from other members. All forums are quiet at this time of year, but Koptalk has probably NEVER been this quiet…

#58373 – Yesterday at 04:21 PM A pin drops
bolshyboy bolshyboy
Gold Member
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Registered: 15/08/04
Posts: 1578
Loc: On Top … and boy it sounds loud…

Anybody out there?
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#58381 – Yesterday at 04:23 PM Re: A pin drops [Re: bolshyboy]
Dunk Dunk Administrator
KopTalk.com
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Registered: 20/08/04
Posts: 13787 always
_________________________
Radio Merseyside interviewer to Bill Shankly: “Mr Shankly, why is it that your teams unbeaten run has suddenly ended?” Shankly: “Why don’t you go and jump in the lake?”

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#58409 – Yesterday at 04:40 PM Re: A pin drops [Re: Dunk]
bolshyboy bolshyboy
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Registered: 15/08/04
Posts: 1578
Loc: On Top I know you’re always there!
People are a little quiet these days mate.
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#58481 – Yesterday at 05:27 PM Re: A pin drops [Re: bolshyboy]
Dunk Dunk Administrator
KopTalk.com
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Registered: 20/08/04
Posts: 13787 Always is at Crimbo. People are on holiday, not at work, not at college etc. Wait until the window opens
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Radio Merseyside interviewer to Bill Shankly: “Mr Shankly, why is it that your teams unbeaten run has suddenly ended?” Shankly: “Why don’t you go and jump in the lake?”

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#58511 – Yesterday at 06:16 PM Re: A pin drops [Re: Dunk]
bolshyboy bolshyboy
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Registered: 15/08/04
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Loc: On Top Xmas is no excuse
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#58534 – Yesterday at 06:57 PM Re: A pin drops [Re: bolshyboy]
Dunk Dunk Administrator
KopTalk.com
****

Registered: 20/08/04
Posts: 13787 Some people have lives lol
_________________________
Radio Merseyside interviewer to Bill Shankly: “Mr Shankly, why is it that your teams unbeaten run has suddenly ended?” Shankly: “Why don’t you go and jump in the lake?”

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#58536 – Yesterday at 06:58 PM Re: A pin drops [Re: Dunk]
bolshyboy bolshyboy
Gold Member
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Registered: 15/08/04
Posts: 1578
Loc: On Top I’m an atheist. For some bizarre reason, the banks are closed. That’s why I’m here.

I don’t ask why….

Edited by bolshyboy (Yesterday at 06:59 PM)
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#58539 – Yesterday at 07:02 PM Re: A pin drops [Re: bolshyboy]
Naveed Naveed
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Registered: 22/07/05
Posts: 1542
Loc: Bangalore I’m here for a chatter Bolsh!
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#58540 – Yesterday at 07:09 PM Re: A pin drops [Re: Naveed]
bolshyboy bolshyboy
Gold Member
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Registered: 15/08/04
Posts: 1578
Loc: On Top Oh you….

I’m surprised seeing you here at xmas!

Why aren’t you at mass?
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#58541 – Yesterday at 07:10 PM Re: A pin drops [Re: bolshyboy]
Dunk Dunk Administrator
KopTalk.com
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Registered: 20/08/04
Posts: 13787
_________________________
Radio Merseyside interviewer to Bill Shankly: “Mr Shankly, why is it that your teams unbeaten run has suddenly ended?” Shankly: “Why don’t you go and jump in the lake?”

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#58543 – Yesterday at 07:11 PM Re: A pin drops [Re: Dunk]
bolshyboy bolshyboy
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Registered: 15/08/04
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Loc: On Top Jus’ kidding…

Must be Eid soon.. remind me when?
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#58545 – Yesterday at 07:16 PM Re: A pin drops [Re: bolshyboy]
Naveed Naveed
Gold Member
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Registered: 22/07/05
Posts: 1542
Loc: Bangalore Yeah, 2nd Jan. Hope to see you in the Mosque
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#58548 – Yesterday at 07:21 PM Re: A pin drops [Re: Naveed]
bolshyboy bolshyboy
Gold Member
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Registered: 15/08/04
Posts: 1578
Loc: On Top And please remind me what happens then?

I remember the streets of Rusholme being cordoned off for speeches and the like.

‘scuse my ignorance.
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#58552 – Yesterday at 07:28 PM Re: A pin drops [Re: bolshyboy]
Naveed Naveed
Gold Member
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Registered: 22/07/05
Posts: 1542
Loc: Bangalore
Originally Posted By: bolshyboy
And please remind me what happens then?

I remember the streets of Rusholme being cordoned off for speeches and the like.

‘scuse my ignorance.

It’s just our new year mate. The speeches? Oh’ those are just a call for the Holy war
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“How do wars start? Politicians tell lies to journalists and then believe what they read” – Karl Kraus (1874-1936)

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#58554 – Yesterday at 07:33 PM Re: A pin drops [Re: Naveed]
bolshyboy bolshyboy
Gold Member
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Registered: 15/08/04
Posts: 1578
Loc: On Top I guess they’ve changed a little.

It’s funny, I don’t remember the Sikhs and Hindus doing the same thing…

Nevermind. Happy new christian year to you and yours..and a happy Eid to you as well.

…..[oops] me I must be getting old. 😉
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#58731 – 40 minutes 18 seconds ago Re: A pin drops [Re: bolshyboy]
DMHPioneer DMHPioneer
Gold Member
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Registered: 08/05/06
Posts: 1255
Loc: Hull
Originally Posted By: bolshyboy
… and boy it sounds loud…

Anybody out there?

KRYTEN: Listen! Can anyone hear anything?

Pause. There is silence.

CAT: No.
KRYTEN: Precisely. No one can hear anything! And you know WHY we can’t
hear anything?
RIMMER: Why?
KRYTEN: (In the Voice Of Doom) Because there are NO sounds to hear.

Red Dwarf Series 4, Episode #4: WHITE HOLE

Got the whoe box set for Christmas
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Brick Top: Do you know what “nemesis” means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an ‘orrible cnut. ME!

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#58734 – 31 minutes 57 seconds ago Re: A pin drops [Re: DMHPioneer]
Katie Katie Administrator
KopTalk.com
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Registered: 11/07/06
Posts: 1240
Loc: UK Oh dear …. does that mean we are now going to hear Red Dwarf quotes until next christmas???
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If you require support, please call Steve on +44 (0) 7962 367 537 between 7am and midnight, 7 days-a-week. Alternatively you can open a support ticket online by following this link –>>

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#58742 – 27 seconds ago Re: A pin drops [Re: Katie]
DMHPioneer DMHPioneer
Gold Member
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Registered: 08/05/06
Posts: 1255
Loc: Hull
Originally Posted By: Katie
Oh dear …. does that mean we are now going to hear Red Dwarf quotes until next christmas???

Not at all SMEG HEAD

I mean after all I dont want you all thinkin im some kind of geek like Dwayne Dibley

Dunk – get off that fat arse of yours and get those receipts scanned in. OR ARE WE RIGHT? ARE YOU HIDING SOMETHING?

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5 Responses to “No receipts as Alder Hey Konman hopes we'll forget”

  1. rupertinsider Says:

    On the SMS fiasco. This thread on KopTalk was closed:
    ________________________________________
    SMS whens the last time you got one ?
    by ArmchairKopite

  2. felix Says:

    no Dunk has reopened it. Trying to play the nice guy just wanting to find out why people are still not getting their sms messages. Or maybe membership is now so low he is trying to keep the few he has left happy?

  3. Matt Says:

    I am in Australia, and NEVER got a SMS, i emailed Dunk, opened threads about it, opened several “support tickets”, gave them my number several times, and still never got one. Membership has just run out, got the email begging me to re-subscribe, made me chuckle…..

  4. felix Says:

    Dunk is promising to scan the receipts later today. He yet again wants to remind us that no deductions were made to cover the cost of delivery to Alder Hey.

  5. redinsider Says:

    Well, it has been a long time since anyone commented on this, but I just wanted to share the following , from recent conversatiosn with Alder Hey.

    Alder Hey will not confirm they have the receipts, they have been asked on numerous occasions by many people. It was a very simple question, “did koptalk provide you with the receipts for warranty purposes”. They wouldnt answer the question directly, but kep referring us to KopTalk , who of course told us they did provide the receipts to Alder Hey. For some reason Alder Hye seem reluctant to confirm they did.

    Stay tuned folks, two more articles coming soon on claims made by Oldham, which have been investigated with the charities KT claims to support, the truth will be revealed in the next few days.


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