Koptalk talk themselves out of a story

Good morning Dunk! Nice to see you still read this site. The blog that never bothered you. How do we know you read it? Well no sooner have we shown an article on obesity being linked to low intelligence than the thickest person we feature on this blog pops up with this…


Dunk
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Leave Gerrard at home
#1673898 – Mon Oct 16 2006 10:10 PM

If Rafa Benitez was as intelligent as me when it comes to team selection and formations, he’d leave Steven Gerrard behind when the Reds jet off to France on Tuesday.

If Rafa was me he’d try something dead clever like saying his skipper has taken a knock or something like that, especially with the game against the Scum on Sunday.

Great minds think alike they say…

But Rafa’s not me and I’m not intelligent at all when it comes to team selection or tactics.

If I was Rafa, Djibril Cisse would still be at Anfield and Salif Diao would have been thrown on against Chelsea in the Community Shield just to take a few of them out. His suspension wouldn’t have made a difference would it?

Rafa said today that he was “optimistic” that Dirk Kuyt, Daniel Agger and Robbie Fowler will be fit for the match against Bordeaux. We need as many fit bodies as possible so let’s hope they are available.

It’s an important match but what’s more important, Bordeaux or Manchester United?

I know which game means more to me. Leave Stevie at home I say. Don’t be worried if any mysterious injuries surface in the run-up to the clash at Old Trafford 😉

Dunk
koptalk.coN

Dunk – if Rafa had your intelligence he’d be someone we’d have never heard of. He’d never have made it into coaching if he was so thick. If he was as lazy as you he’d never have even started out as a player. If he was as devious as you he’d probably have got a job in Italian football.

What’s interesting about this little outburst is that Oldham seemed to know at 10.10pm that Gerrard was going to be missing from the line-up. The newswires didn’t show it until around 7.35 this morning, with it appearing everywhere else minutes later. So, does he really have contacts at the club after all?

No, does he balls.

One forum that you know Dunk pretends to like is RAWK (Red and White Kop). Well post number 48 here – http://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=148015.msg2357261#msg2357261 – from “ShanklyGates” tells us how Dunk found out.

From RAWK:


Shanklygates
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Re: Bordeaux vs Liverpool, CL, 18th Oct 2006 (PreMatch Build Up)
« Reply #48 on: Yesterday at 09:20:52 PM »
Reply with quote
Quote from: Heno on Yesterday at 01:31:32 PM
Anyone know when they are travelling to France and if the squad will include our recovering players(Kuyt, Momo, Fowler, Agger) ?
Quote from: El Sargento on Yesterday at 08:40:39 PM
Many are picking Momo & Danny in their predicted lineups, so are they available for the game?

Agger hasn’t travelled – his arm is still in a splint at the moment.

Kuyt had a fitness test at 6pm and passed and so is travelling out early 2moro with the rest of them.

Gerrard has a back injury and is staying in Liverpool.

Momo has travelled as far as I know. At least he can drink just before and during the game on Wed.

So it was a back injury in there, not a hamstring, but nevertheless an injury and he wouldn’t be travelling.

I’ve not checked everywhere else to see if anyone else spotted it sooner, but it seems that Oldham found out at almost exactly the same time. This was his post in the Insider-Gold-Members-100-club. Oldham’s clock on his koptalkinsider server is – like most things Koptalk – wrong. About 7 or 8 minutes fast. So in reality the following thread was started at 9.00pm, twenty minutes before the one on RAWK. The clock on RAWK, like a lot of things on RAWK, is right.

Before reading this keep one thing in mind. If Oldham really did know that Gerrard was missing the game tomorrow, he’d have put it on his .coN site (when it wasn’t down) to make sure everybody knew all about it. That he didn’t suggests he was taking a bit of a guess. You know some Koptalk members would have actually taken what he said first at face value…


Dunk
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Forget Gerrard
#1673840 – Mon Oct 16 2006 09:07 PM
He won’t be in the Bordeaux squad, he’s watching the game at my house.
——————–


In the summer Oldham actually did claim, in amongst that ever-growing pile of steaming bullshit that dwarfs the Angel of the North statue, that he knew Gerrard. He tried to make out that he was often chatting to him! Steven Gerrard takes time out from his luxurious lifestyle to speak to an odious overweight sweaty pervert who spends his day in a shed in Newcastle. Of course Dunk. At 9.15pm (real-world time, 9.08pm)….


Dunk
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Re: Forget Gerrard [Re: Fin7]
#1673845 – Mon Oct 16 2006 09:15 PM

Trust me… Dunk knows best
——————–


We do trust you Oldham. Not with our money of course, but with sinking your own ship. Here’s Katie, who probably also believes her cousin about his Steven Gerrard links…


KatieAdministrator
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Re: Forget Gerrard [Re: Dunk]
#1673851 – Mon Oct 16 2006 09:25 PM
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Quote:
He won’t be in the Bordeaux squad, he’s watching the game at my house.

So you finally arranged our private meeting then??

Thank you

——————–

At 9.25pm (09.18 human time) Oldham adds this bit…


Dunk
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Re: Forget Gerrard [Re: Livercool]
#1673853 – Mon Oct 16 2006 09:25 PM

Look out for an injury overnight.
——————–

Still ahead, slightly, of the post on RAWK. So how did he get this info then? If he’s got a contact then how come he’s never had anything else from this contact all through the summer? Here we are ripping into his site for his lack of contacts, and not once did he prove us wrong. Not once did he beat anyone else to a story that turned out true.

He’s down to his last few members now. Lecter still hangs around there (or did a couple of weeks ago) and has always claimed to have contacts. I don’t think there are any other members left on there now who’ve ever claimed to be in the know. Lecter is the one who isn’t Chris Bascombe you’ll remember.

Here’s where we start to see some cracks in things though. After a couple of compliments from a couple of members, he posts this. Seems to be having doubts. “Let’s pretend”?


Dunk
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Re: Forget Gerrard [Re: Livercool]
#1673860 – Mon Oct 16 2006 09:33 PM
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Let’s pretend

You guys don’t really think he’s coming for pizza do you?

They’d think so if they fell for your bullshit in the earlier part of the summer.

Anyway, at this stage Oldham’s doing fairly well. Then he reads the blog. ‘Shit!’ he thinks – ‘I’m going to look a dickhead here if I’m not careful’. He posts this at 10.09pm Koptalk time, 1 minute before his “If Rafa was as fick as I am” shite we started off with.


Dunk
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Re: Forget Gerrard [Re: af]
#1673895 – Mon Oct 16 2006 10:09 PM
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Of course he’ll be in the squad.
——————–

You were doing so well until then Oldham. Messed it up a little didn’t we? Even one of your hardcore-half-dozen members still in awe of you is questioning you…


af
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Re: Forget Gerrard [Re: Dunk]
#1673896 – Mon Oct 16 2006 10:10 PM
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What about the “injury” then

And Oldham didn’t answer.

So if today (I’ve not checked) Oldham is trying to make out he knew this all along, well we all know the truth don’t we?

Koptalk have no contacts.

Having contacts is something Oldham would love. “Inside information” is one of his most favourite terms. He can’t even talk about Smicer without mentioning it…


koptalk.coNAdministrator
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Rafa: It was best Smicer left
#1673073 – Sun Oct 15 2006 05:05 PM
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Reds boss Rafa Benitez says it was for the best that Vladimir Smicer left the club for a new challenge.

The Czech international was a hero in Instanbul but the boss had already decided to get shot of him.

Smicer will return to Anfield with Bordeaux and Rafa knows that he will be providing inside information to his current employers about training routines and so on.

Knowing how the devious-yet-thick conman works, he’ll be showing this headline on his .coN site making anyone considering paying think that Oldham has all kinds of official contacts at the club. It takes some doing for a fan-site (pretend for the moment he’s a fan) to set up a comp like this – “Win a training session with Stevie G”. How does he manage it? He doesn’t. Of course…


koptalk.coN
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Win a training session with Stevie G
#1673461 – Mon Oct 16 2006 11:51 AM
Persil are running a competition to offer 2 children under the age of 12 to win a training session with Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard.

The prize includes travel and accomodation, a training kit, a tour of Anfield and some signed Steven Gerrard goods.

To enter, just answer this question:

What shirt number does Steven Gerrard wear for Liverpool?

A) 4
B) 8
C) 12

Call 0901 553 0908 or text the word SMSPORT followed by your answer a, b or c, your name, house number and postcode to 84080.

Line close midnight Wed 18th Oct 2006. Calls cost 50p per min from a BT Landline, max 2 mins. Texts cost £1.00 plus normal network cost. Open to UK mainland residents only.

KopTalk is not involved with this competition, we’re just letting you know about it.

Nothing wrong in plugging that comp to members, as long as it’s not on his front page. He even admitted it wasn’t his comp. His own comps are crap of course.

Take this one – he’s not been able to get hold of any tickets for the Reading game, so he can’t award the prize to anyone. Fishy?


Dunk
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Tickets Winners
#1673809 – Mon Oct 16 2006 07:40 PM

We’ve had a very, very busy day hence the delay in announcing the winners. We also have a problem with the Reading game as a ticket has been lost but we’ll sort this accordingly and report back. We will announce the Bordeaux winners tonight and the replacements for the Sportsmans Dinner.

Talking of fishy…

Dunk
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vogan & etienne77
#1673833 – Mon Oct 16 2006 08:46 PM

You have been selected as the replacements for the Sportsmans Dinner. Please let us know asap if you can attend. You have until Tuesday 2pm to confirm
——————–
Davoz
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Posts: 17

Re: vogan & etienne77 [Re: Dunk]
#1673967 – Mon Oct 16 2006 11:57 PM
Dunk, it would be a wish come true to be able to attend the dinner, but Living in australia is going to make it a bit too hard, (although if it were tickets to a match i’d be booking the flights already). Im spewing to say this, but unfortunatly cant accept your generous offer Dunk.
Thanks plenty though.
Dave
—————————————
vogan
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Re: vogan & etienne77 [Re: Dunk]
#1674022 – Tue Oct 17 2006 05:32 AM
sorry dunk – but i have been taken ill and will not be able too attend,

The “vogan” user may be genuine, but it’s a bit of a risk for Oldham to invite people who could be me or one of the others who contribute to this site. The profile for this user is….

Profile for vogan
Member # 7377
Name stephen herron
Title Gold Member
Total Posts 44
Rating **
Homepage
Occupation shikpping
Hobbies LFC AND LFC
Location LIVERPOOL
Bio
ICQ Number
Registered on Tue Nov 22 2005 10:39 AM

Another attempt at pretending to know Stevie G came on Monday morning. In reply to someone who quoted an Irish paper that I remember a few years ago as being very similar in factual content to the Sunday Sport, he says this –


Dunk
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Re: Sunday World Article – re:Stevie G [Re: IrishPaul]
#1673439 – Mon Oct 16 2006 11:32 AM

SG isn’t happy playing where he’s playing. It’s natural for him to be a bit fed up. We’ll just have to see how it goes as the season pans out. I’m a little concerned but I’m not flapping yet as nobody has suggested to me he wants out.
——————–


Nobody has suggested? Who do you mean? Are you talking about Andy Townsend, Jamie Redknapp, Mark Lawrenson and other pundits on the box? Nobody else speaks to you, other than your family. Sorry, part of your family.

A bit of backtracking preparation here. Dunk can’t afford to go to Malta (he couldn’t afford to pay his server bill yesterday and they took it down for a while until he bullshitted them for a bit longer). He’ll have to find an excuse for Malta soon if people keep asking him. So keep asking him…


Meme
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Hey Dunk
#1673391 – Mon Oct 16 2006 10:39 AM
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Hey Dunk when are you coming to Malta?

Post Extras: Print Post Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Dunk
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Re: Hey Dunk [Re: Meme]
#1673406 – Mon Oct 16 2006 10:59 AM
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Soon my friend, soon
——————–

You mean “Never”, nobody’s friend, “never”.

With Steve seemingly gone now Dunk’s having to do more of the work himself. And he can’t send himself down to Melwood and stop people causing mischief on his forums. So the Melwood “exclusives” of footage from atop a wheely bin have stopped now. He can’t afford the petrol anyway…


thesilverfoxlfc
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Wheres all the exclusive photos…..
#1673872 – Mon Oct 16 2006 09:47 PM
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…gone of Melwood havent posted any up in a week or two?

Why so Dunk?

——————–
Dunk
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Re: Wheres all the exclusive photos….. [Re: thesilverfoxlfc]
#1673878 – Mon Oct 16 2006 09:54 PM
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You didn’t see the internationals then?

We’ll see have the agents have any from the Bordeaux pre-match training session. There hasn’t really been anyone to concentrate on recently.

——————–

If all else fails, blame the internationals. Dunk, you’re still shit at lying so stop trying. You could have got there on Wednesday for example and seen Dirk Kuyt return to the country from Amsterdam. Stevie was there all week after his suspension for England. By Thursday the players were all arriving home and on Friday they’d have had their last run-out before the game. The game you didn’t go to on Saturday. Because you’ve not got the petrol money for it.

It really does seem that Oldham has lost Steve. Oldham is using steve’s email address now…


ManUtdAreMuck
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FAO DUNKMEISTER
#1670853 – Thu Oct 12 2006 07:05 PM
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Hey Dunk…you gotta a email addy I can ask you a couple of questions about a webpage/hosting company?

Thanks…
——————–
Dunk
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Re: FAO DUNKMEISTER [Re: ManUtdAreMuck]
#1670871 – Thu Oct 12 2006 07:40 PM
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steve@koptalk.coN and I’ll take a nosey mate

——————–
Markb1
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Re: FAO DUNKMEISTER [Re: Dunk]
#1670907 – Thu Oct 12 2006 09:05 PM

sent him one the other night dunk,do you know if he got it,maybe a back log or something?

Dunk
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Re: FAO DUNKMEISTER [Re: Markb1]
#1670922 – Thu Oct 12 2006 09:42 PM
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i will find out now

——————–
Biff
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Re: FAO DUNKMEISTER [Re: Dunk]
#1670925 – Thu Oct 12 2006 09:52 PM
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Quote:
i will find out now

You seem to be posting more often these days…

Is that a conscious effort or the benefits of allowing Rambo more power….!

——————–
Dunk
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Re: FAO DUNKMEISTER [Re: Biff]
#1670933 – Thu Oct 12 2006 10:08 PM
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Well I don’t have to worry about the koptalk.or* forums or the koptalk.coN news any more. I did that so that I had more time for here which is where I want to be and I’m enjoying it again

——————–

JohnOK
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Re: FAO DUNKMEISTER [Re: Dunk]
#1670937 – Thu Oct 12 2006 10:19 PM

Why weren’t you enjoying it before big man?

Dunk
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Re: FAO DUNKMEISTER [Re: JohnOK]
#1670939 – Thu Oct 12 2006 10:23 PM

Ah it was just getting too much in terms of workload. We struggle as it is so we needed to either get help in and expand or cut back a bit and keep it close. Naturally we had to prioritise and our members here that make it possible come first. Now it’s like the good old days, it’s more fun and not so stressful any more Translation: We’re doomed. Steve’s had to go and look for a job and so’s me mam. I’ve not told Katie yet that I won’t be paying her, and I am still stuck with that 12 grand a year server that really cost me 12 hundred, but is still more than I can afford. I’ll be looking for a job soon if this doesn’t improve. (Faints)

——————–

iangarratt1
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Re: FAO DUNKMEISTER [Re: Dunk]
#1670946 – Thu Oct 12 2006 10:33 PM

have to agree with you there its a lot more chilled and friendly with no cliques who hijack threads all the time.

——————–

Dunk
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Re: FAO DUNKMEISTER [Re: iangarratt1]
#1670996 – Thu Oct 12 2006 11:51 PM
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Quote:
have to agree with you there its a lot more chilled and friendly with no cliques who hijack threads all the time.

And that’s exactly how I want it to be. I’m trying to attract a more mature membership base now. Banter’s great but sometimes it gets too much. The last thing I want is a ‘nodding’ site where everyone agrees with each other. We should see the benefits even more when the next upgrade takes place (You’ve got a nodding site though really haven’t you? People are either nodding in agreement with what you say or leaving mysteriously overnight. The others are “nodding” off, due to the lack of anything worth reading. Koptalk has lost its community, and that was the only thing it had in reality.)

——————–

ST3 (Yes of course it is.)
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Re: FAO DUNKMEISTER [Re: Markb1]
#1671002 – Thu Oct 12 2006 11:57 PM
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Quote:
sent him one the other night dunk,do you know if he got it,maybe a back log or something?

Mark, I sent you a mail the other day when you sent one in. I have re-sent it so just let me know when you get it.

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4 Responses to “Koptalk talk themselves out of a story”

  1. rupertinsider Says:

    But I notice his “Leave Gerrard at Home” headline is rapidly on the way to No. 1 on News Now – bunch of click whores that they are.

  2. Fat Tax Says:

    The stuff about the competitions is just too much. I can’t believe he’s taken the competition details off a box of Persil and posted it, let alone advertised based on it. I am seriously pissing myself here.

    As for the Reading competition: “a slight problem…” “…we’ve lost a ticket”. You just could not make it up. I reckon he’s flogged it to pay for hosting and meths.

  3. rupertinsider Says:

    He is trying to point out that he is not working a full day, honest disability benefits inspector, and my family is not employed here, honest, its just a hobby.

    He likes it so much better without the forums and the maddening crowds, why does’nt he close it down – then it would be paradise.


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