Funny farm

“And they’re coming to take me away ha-haaa
They’re coming to take me away ho ho hee hee ha haaa
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men
In their clean white coats
And they’re coming to take me away ha haaa”

From “They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!” by Napoleon XIV. Available on this album from Amazon.

So why did those lyrics keep whizzing around in my head when I was reading the crap I’d collected from Koptalk? I think you can guess.

First of all, would a seventeen-year-old who had only left school a year earlier, without any qualifications, lacking so much in any type of skill that he’s unable to get a job, write something like this?

ST3 KopTalk Editor
Reged: Sep 12 2003
Posts: 8060
Steve Irwin
#1639291 – Sun Sep 10 2006 11:49 PM Reply Quote

Did he deserve a state funeral? Apparently it was offered but the family turned it down.

The reason I ask is a radio presenter said he didn’t deserve it but surely if he made people happy and if he was seen as a genuine character worshiped or at least liked by a lot of his people, then what’s the problem?
– – – – – – – – – –

A seventeen-year-old lad shouldn’t be sat in a shed at that time on a Sunday night working out whether or not someone deserves a state funeral.

That’s because the seventeen-year-old lad who was supposedly posting that wasn’t actually posting it. The writer was a saddo in his mid-thirties who once said words to the effect that it’s OK to attack under age girls at his age because they ignore him otherwise. The said writer likes to give advice out about how to pull too, if you’ve not read it already have a search for it on this blog – it’s hilarious. He also likes to advertise for a bit of wife swapping, boasts about shagging girls he’s met on MySpace and calls the 17-year-old boy he spends most of his life with gay or a rent-boy depending on what mood he’s in. He often protests that he’s not gay himself, so often that you do wonder if it’s another of his interests in life.

Anyway, about an hour after telling the Aussie government what they need to do about state funerals, he’s asking us this question. Still pretending to be Steve, of course…

ST3 KopTalk Editor
Reged: Sep 12 2003
Posts: 8060
Is there a heaven?
#1639322 – Mon Sep 11 2006 12:46 AM

What do you think? Life after death or bang, the lights are out and that’s that? I would like to think there was something but I don’t think there will be

“…to the funny farm…”

Anyway, after still being awake at 12.46am he now had to get some sleep and travel back from Wallsend to Liverpool. Time for some more stalking. (If he was even there of course). Trying to get from Wallsend to Newcastle by 10.30am on Monday? I seriously doubt you’d do it in less than four, maybe five hours unless you left early enough to arrive before about 8am. Anyone ever done the trip? Or is Steve still staying at the Uncle’s?

Now please – whatever you do, put the coffee down before reading this one…

 

ST3 KopTalk Editor
Reged: Sep 12 2003
Posts: 8062
Update from Liverpool airport
#1639527 – Mon Sep 11 2006 10:36 AM Reply Quote

I’m logged on from my laptop at the airport

The lads arrived at Melwood just before 9am for breakfast. They then boarded the team bus and headed for the airport.

I was unable to see who was in the party as the coach arrived at the airport and was allowed to drive straight through to the runway areas to the private jet. Obviously I can’t get that close to see who’s travelling.

They’re all onboard now and the plane is fuelling up as I type

I told you to put the coffee down. So the team arrived at 9am at Melwood. All at once? Or are we going to be treated to loads of video of loads of players arriving? They then had breakfast – Dunk knows this how? Sorry – STEVE knows this how? Then they got on “the team bus” and headed for the airport.

Now it doesn’t say when the coach (not bus) left Melwood, but let’s split the difference. The players arrived at Melwood at 9am. They were already on board the plane by 10.30am as fatty was typing. So let’s say the coach left Melwood at 9.45am. So Fatty saw the coach leave Melwood, ran as fast as his podgy little legs could carry him back to his car and proceeded to follow the coach in his Mercedes, reg plate of D1UNK. Or was it that Steve did the running back to the car, as fast as his rapidly fattening legs could carry him, back to his Ka, reg plate M99ACA?

Either way, neither Fat Leader nor Fat Apprentice were at Melwood today, I’m pretty sure of that. Nor were they there yesterday as they claimed.

And the thought of either of them trying to follow the coach to the airport is laughable. Then getting there and finding they can’t follow the coach through the gate it goes through. So they park their car and run to the public areas of the airport, probably upstairs past the statue of John Lennon and sit where you can see a bit of the runway. I’ve not been there myself for about a year, so it could have changed since then. And they sit there hoping to get a glimpse of the players as they board the plane. Alas it was all a waste of time, and so Fatty / Steve boots up the laptop to let us all know how he’s got nothing to show us for all this work. It’s all bullshit; inintentionally funny, needless, bullshit.

Like this was bullshit yesterday. Fatty logged on as Steve and pretending that not only was he Steve, but he was also at Melwood…

ST3 KopTalk Editor
Reged: Sep 12 2003
Posts: 8023
Update from Melwood (Sun)
#1638845 – Sun Sep 10 2006 10:44 AM

Rafa got the lads in early this morning for extra training.

Bellamy is present and there’s no obvious signs of any problems.

I spoke to the original source who told me about the alleged Bellamy incident that resulted in him playing no part in the derby and all he would say is that “something happened”. Either he doesn’t know or he won’t say any more. I will push him again tomorrow.

The squad will meet at Melwood on Monday morning to fly out for the PSV match.

ST3 KopTalk Editor
Reged: Sep 12 2003
Posts: 8023
Re: Update from Melwood (Sun) [Re: ST3]
#1638905 – Sun Sep 10 2006 12:07 PM Reply Quote

They’re whipping in crosses from each side for Kuyt, then he switches with Bellamy and so on.

So where are the photos then fatty? Looking at http://picasaweb.google.com/koptalk.public, you’ve got some from your failed end-of-transfer-window stalking session, you’ve got some from Friday when Steve got to appear in the background on SSN, but none of yesterday. Why? Try this one – you weren’t at Melwood. You aren’t there today either. You are still a crap liar – fair play to you for actually going to Melwood and making an effort, but that small amount of credibility is thrown away again by a bit more bullshit. You are so dopey it’s unreal.

Was this following question asked by someone being sarcastic?

ST3 KopTalk Editor
Reged: Sep 12 2003
Posts: 8060
Re: Who do you support? [Re: sutty18]
#1639255 – Sun Sep 10 2006 10:53 PM Reply Quote

You can only support one team.

Maybe it was a genuine question (the original question was from someone asking about a friend who said he supported two different teams) but we all know that both Oldham and MacNeish (Dunk and Steve) support Liverpool, Newcastle and Spurs. So here’s a bit of qualification from Koptalk’s Frankenstein – ST3…

ST3 KopTalk Editor
Reged: Sep 12 2003
Posts: 8060
Re: Who do you support? [Re: sutty18]
#1639259 – Sun Sep 10 2006 11:03 PM Reply Quote

 

You can respect another team or have a soft spot but you can only have emotions for one. That’s what I think anyway
——


Then Steve, 17-year-old editor of a site that once had potential to be good, has some advice for us on advertising. One of the many reasons for hating Koptalk is for the overuse of adverts on the site. I know of no other football site that is so riddled with advertisements, especially the pop-up and pop-under variety. It’s awful. Still, now that KT has a new editor this must be about to end…

phcpgun Gold Member
Reged: Jan 19 2006
Posts: 90
Loc: Liverpool
Adsense and other Pay Per Click systems….
#1639271 – Sun Sep 10 2006 11:19 PM Reply Quote

Anyone use adsense or other pay per clicks on their web sites/web bloggs? How you finding it working for you? Google try keep kicking me off, but keep appealing and winning! Just found one called bidvertiser and thought i’d give it a go.

Anyone got any idea of the rules reg advertising on other sites that get people to visit your site and follow the google links? Would that be allowed? I saw people in computer forums, with their web sites in their profile, and everyone clicking on eachothers links after navigating to their web space.

This likely to get them kicked off if they caught?

Still fairely new to “all this lark” and any advice on hosting adverts etc would go down a real treat! I’ll help other people where i can even if it’s simply by following links and offering my advice on page layouts etc.

Two way street here i’m offering advice and tips for advice and tips. Simply just to help everyone out!

——————–

ST3 KopTalk Editor
Reged: Sep 12 2003
Posts: 8060

Re: Adsense and other Pay Per Click systems…. [Re: phcpgun]
#1639289 – Sun Sep 10 2006 11:47 PM Reply Quote

If they detect abuse then surely they just deactivate or recalculate?

It’s not really my field but all I know is I find ads annoying. I like the 468 x 60 banner ads as sometimes they offer some colour and change to a site.
– – – – – – – – –

So ST3 – what is your “field”? And you should be more careful how you talk about those ads you know.
Now for another bit of needless bullshit. Dunk’s been counting phone calls…

ST3 KopTalk Editor
Reged: Sep 12 2003
Posts: 8023
83
#1638566 – Sat Sep 09 2006 11:19 PM Reply Quote

83. Number of calls taken since full time from Everton fans
– – – – – – – –

Instead of ensuring we have such an accurate figure as how many calls you’ve had from the bitters, why not spend a bit of time writing that book? Or more to the point, why not just admit there isn’t one?

Time to look again at what you get for your money inside the newly-named members bit. Video clips of the goals within minutes? No, despite the claims, you don’t get any such things. These are the only clips I could find when I last looked. I think the goal clips from Saturday were put on his site, but not in the correct part of his site.

http://www1.koptalkinsider.coN/vids3/100906b.wmv – Scott Carson saving a penalty.

http://www1.koptalkinsider.coN/vids3/100906.wmv – Goals on Sunday? “Kamara & McCaffrey analysis”
I’ve not actually had time to look at either one of these, so apologies if they are in fact clips from Dunk’s new “how to pull” hints and tips video. Change the “.coN” to “.coM”.

As for live streams – Dunk didn’t post much help at all on Saturday. One of his users, EST_1892 (no relation to the site of the same name) posted this link – http://www.myp2p.eu/Matches/Match1.htm. For £30, if that’s why you joined, that’s what you got. A link to someone else’s work on streams. So is £30 good value for money when the “live football” you paid for consists of someone who’s a member just posting that link to someone else’s site?

I was about to bring this article to and end, but then I found some more crap. I don’t have time to write up about in any detail but I think you’ll find it worth reading. It turns out that Dunk (as we knew) hasn’t got a contact after all to tell him what’s happened with Bellamy. He’s relying on gossip coming from members.

ST3 KopTalk Editor
Reged: Sep 12 2003
Posts: 8069
Bellamy update
#1639533 – Mon Sep 11 2006 10:40 AM Reply Quote

Posted by a member in the Gold Club:

I know that there has been posts about this but just thought i would update you with some rumours i have just heard.I have just got in to work and been told by a colleague of mine that he was out with SG and a few others at the weekend (after the game) and asked why Bellamy did not play. Apparently, there was a bust up in the dressing room but it wasnt with Rafa, it was with Gonzales. He also says that SG was furious at the whole thing and that Bellamy was set to play before it all happened. My colleague is a bluenose (and therefore has a huge grin on his face today) so i am not sure if he is trying to wind me up now but he has just told me that SG said that Bellamy asked Rafa to send him back to Newcastle. i know for a fact that he is good friends with a couple of scouse players for other teams who i also know are friends with SG.

idle speculation? possibly. hope so!

Lets hope he is just trying to wind me up!!

THIRTY QUID FOR THIS!

Here’s what the original poster said – free of charge to you…

mwdareds
Gold Member
Reged: May 31 2006
Posts: 59
Loc: liverpool

why bellamy wasnt in
#1639524 – Mon Sep 11 2006 10:30 AM Reply Quote

I know that there has been posts about this but just thought i would update you with some rumours i have just heard.I have just got in to work and been told by a colleague of mine that he was out with SG and a few others at the weekend (after the game) and asked why Bellamy did not play. Apparently, there was a bust up in the dressing room but it wasnt with Rafa, it was with Gonzales. He also says that SG was furious at the whole thing and that Bellamy was set to play before it all happened. My colleague is a bluenose (and therefore has a huge grin on his face today) so i am not sure if he is trying to wind me up now but he has just told me that SG said that Bellamy asked Rafa to send him back to Newcastle. i know for a fact that he is good friends with a couple of scouse players for other teams who i also know are friends with SG.

idle speculation? possibly. hope so!

Lets hope he is just trying to wind me up!!

——————–
“If Everton were playing at the bottom of the garden, I’d pull the curtains.” Bill Shankly

“Chairman Mao has never seen a greater show of red strength.” Bill Shankly
Post Extras:

gfarnan
Gold Member

Reged: Jun 07 2002
Posts: 226
Loc: Ireland

Re: why bellamy wasnt in [Re: mwdareds]
#1639532 – Mon Sep 11 2006 10:40 AM Reply Quote

He’s winding you up, no way he would want to go back to newcastle
Post Extras:

ST3
KopTalk Editor

Reged: Sep 12 2003
Posts: 8070

Re: why bellamy wasnt in [Re: gfarnan]
#1639535 – Mon Sep 11 2006 10:41 AM Reply Quote

If it happened, I can imagine such sarcasm.
Post Extras:

Craig
Gold Member

Reged: Jan 31 2005
Posts: 1509
Loc: “The Office”

Re: why bellamy wasnt in [Re: mwdareds]
#1639539 – Mon Sep 11 2006 10:43 AM Reply Quote

Not a chance anything like that could have been decided upon at this stage of the season, no way no how !

——————–
You’ll Never Walk Alone
Post Extras:

Valoi
Gold Member

Reged: Jul 06 2005
Posts: 219
Loc: Norway

Re: why bellamy wasnt in [Re: mwdareds]
#1639543 – Mon Sep 11 2006 10:44 AM Reply Quote

Here’s another rumour:

Jeff Southall (Neville’s brother) is rumoured to have had an incident with
one Craig Bellamy outside the Broadway nightclub in Llandudno on Thursday
night /the early hours of Friday morning and will appear before Llandudno
magistrates on Tuesday at 10.00 am.
This incident is believed to be the reason behind Bellamy being dropped for
the Merseyside derby.

Now, the only thing we know is that he was furious when he left Melwood at Friday. Nobody knows why, and I really don’t want to start guessing because all of our rival-fans wants him to fail so they can “prove” Rafa wrong. So when somebody ask me why he was left out, I say he was rested.

I really doubt he wants to go back to Newcastle because 80 % of the fans hates him now after he [oops] it up with Shearer.

Let’s not make a fuzz about this just because it’s Bellamy. I don’t want to question him or his lojality after one and a half month in the club, because I think he’s a great lad!

PSV tomorrow, if he’s not in the squad for that game, then we might start to get worried!

——————–
No small toffees for feast tonight
Kopites party with Turkish delight
Jose, Sir Alex… London press
All choking on sweet success
Money, not love, is your drive
But tell us… Can you count to five?
Post Extras:

ST3
KopTalk Editor

Reged: Sep 12 2003
Posts: 8070

Re: why bellamy wasnt in [Re: Valoi]
#1639548 – Mon Sep 11 2006 10:47 AM Reply Quote

We’re 99.9% confident that he was dropped for something that happened at Melwood after training, in the changing rooms. The source insists he wasn’t kicking off because he was dropped and that he was dropped because of what took place on Friday.

The source could be wrong but I’m sure by Wednesday this will all be forgotten

So even Steve’s 99.9% certain.

Then there’s this one…

Micka06
Gold Member

Reged: Mar 10 2006
Posts: 51

anbody heard this about bellamy?
#1639605 – Mon Sep 11 2006 11:37 AM Reply Quote

that he turned up for training pissed on friday morning? heard it from a blue nose who is saying its word on the street
Post Extras:

ST3
KopTalk Editor

Reged: Sep 12 2003
Posts: 8071

Re: anbody heard this about bellamy? [Re: Micka06]
#1639611 – Mon Sep 11 2006 11:39 AM Reply Quote

I watched the training session from start to finish on Friday and he was fine mate. He also drove in and out.

These are the photos I took on Friday:

http://picasaweb.google.com/koptalk.public/Melwood04

Where’s today’s photo’s then “Steve”?

And Fredo and Milkman are two names I’ve noticed got banned from KT last week. Banned as in they had their access taken off them for reasons not given. After a bit of emailing they got a bit of bullshit by way of answers. Look at www.est1892.co.uk for more on what was said in their replies from Fatworld. Here’s a bit of bullshit about the banning on the site itself…

ST3 KopTalk Editor
Reged: Sep 12 2003
Posts: 8070
Re: FAO OF MILKMAN [Re: geeko83]
#1639530 – Mon Sep 11 2006 10:39 AM Reply

He hasn’t been banned. The last email to him said he was welcome to continue here providing he didn’t hijack threads etc.
Post Extras:

So what exactly does the “etc” mean Dunkenstein?

And finally (really, for now, this is it) here we have a bit of politics getting thrown at Oldham, someone who last year said he was starting a terrorism website…

ST3 KopTalk Editor
Reged: Sep 12 2003
Posts: 8070
9-11 YNWA
#1639324 – Mon Sep 11 2006 12:55 AM Reply QuoteYNWA
– – – – – – – – – – – –
Avenger Gold Member
Reged: Aug 18 2005
Posts: 906
Loc: South of Heaven

Re: 9-11 YNWA [Re: ST3]
#1639340 – Mon Sep 11 2006 03:21 AM Reply Quote

yeah right, and YNWA all the tens of thousands of nameless faceless supposed evil doers that have been incinerated as Bush seeks answers to questions that he should really look within to find.

——————–
Liverpool Premiership Champions 2006-2007
– – – – – – – – – – – –

Neil Young Gold Member
Reged: Sep 24 2002
Posts: 4759
Loc: London

Re: 9-11 YNWA [Re: ST3]
#1639513 – Mon Sep 11 2006 10:20 AM Reply Quote

Quote:

YNWA

Does this refer to the US-backed Chilean coup in 1973?

——————–
“Much of the picture in our head of our surroundings is a massive construction, based on expectations, what we think is important, what we normally encounter and so on,” says Wiseman.

“There is always another smartarse out there.”
– – – – – – – – – – – –

Naveed Gold Member
Reged: Jul 22 2005
Posts: 630
Loc: Bangalore

Re: 9-11 YNWA [Re: Neil Young]
#1639536 – Mon Sep 11 2006 10:41 AM Reply Quote

Quote:

Quote:

YNWA

Does this refer to the US-backed Chilean coup in 1973?

Oh’ I forgot that. Aliende and all that. Yeah, YNWA to the ones that perished on 9-11, and those that have been murdered in the name of democracy exported under the wings of the B-52s’ over the last 60 years!

——————–
“It’s not about the short ball or the long ball. Its about the right ball” Sir Bob
– – – – – – – – – – – –

ST3
KopTalk Editor
Reged: Sep 12 2003
Posts: 8070

Re: 9-11 YNWA [Re: Avenger]
#1639545 – Mon Sep 11 2006 10:45 AM Reply Quote

Quote:

yeah right, and YNWA all the tens of thousands of nameless faceless supposed evil doers that have been incinerated as Bush seeks answers to questions that he should really look within to find.

I’m thinking of the thousands of innocenct people who died who had nothing to do with politics or Bush
– – – – – – – – – – – –

Neil Young Gold Member
Reged: Sep 24 2002
Posts: 4759
Loc: London

Re: 9-11 YNWA [Re: ST3]
#1639553 – Mon Sep 11 2006 10:50 AM Reply Quote

Quote:

I’m thinking of the thousands of innocenct people who died who had nothing to do with politics or Bush

I don’t know why you’re ranting, it was a perfectly reasonable question. Incidentally, your response did not answer it since it applies to the victims of both 11 September 1973 and 11 September 2001.

Or was that intention, your thread is intended to mourn the victims of both terrorist outrages? If so, I heartily concur, YNWA indeed.

——————–
“Much of the picture in our head of our surroundings is a massive construction, based on expectations, what we think is important, what we normally encounter and so on,” says Wiseman.

“There is always another smartarse out there.”
– – – – – – – – – – – –

donaldlp Gold Member
Reged: May 06 2006
Posts: 476
Loc: England

Re: 9-11 YNWA [Re: ST3]
#1639614 – Mon Sep 11 2006 11:41 AM Reply Quote

YNWA to all the people that passed away on 9-11 and no-one else. Today is their day and no-one elses!

Respect that.
– – – – – – – – – – – –

ST3
KopTalk Editor
Reged: Sep 12 2003
Posts: 8070

Re: 9-11 YNWA [Re: Neil Young]
#1639619 – Mon Sep 11 2006 11:43 AM Reply Quote

Quote:

Quote:

I’m thinking of the thousands of innocenct people who died who had nothing to do with politics or Bush

I don’t know why you’re ranting, it was a perfectly reasonable question. Incidentally, your response did not answer it since it applies to the victims of both 11 September 1973 and 11 September 2001.

Or was that intention, your thread is intended to mourn the victims of both terrorist outrages? If so, I heartily concur, YNWA indeed.

If you look you’ll see I was responding to Avenger re: Bush.

My YNWA is for ALL innocent people killed by Governments and terrorists.
– – – – – – – – – – – –

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4 Responses to “Funny farm”

  1. Another KT Mug Says:

    The thread about being at the airport made me laugh. So, what he’s let us know is that the team had breakfast and are flying to Holland.

    What an exclusive! And people are actually thanking him for this info.

    I’m actually in typing this from the future and can confirm that the team landed, went to their hotel and are having lunch.

  2. Mitja Says:

    I just needed to share this with you…

    This post was written by G_Man at est1892 forum… And I’m still laughing everytime I read it…

    KOPTALK EXCLUSIVE NEWS:

    Update:

    Something happened today, I can’t say more but I can say that someone arrived somewhere at some point earlier today and were spotted by our insiders doing something. There were several other people also there but their identities are not clear. They could have been with this person and they could have been talking about something which if it happens later on I will refer you back to this post.

  3. rupertinsider Says:

    The serious point in all of this is that Oldham got a headline not only in News Now but in it’s top stories. The story said “Bad Boy Bellamy Left Out as Everton Stuff the Reds”.

    That story earned him a large number of hits – it went to No. 1- and those hits earned him real cash.

    The fact that it was the cheapest kind of unsourced rumour – made up by Everton supporters – did not matter to Oldham.

    This is exactly how he behaved in his Fowler-stalking days. But in those days there was no Blog to reign him in.

    As it happens, this weekend’s story did not generate other secondary stories in the tabloid press – as his Fowler stories used to – largely because News Now pulled his story after a while.

    Those who have sympathy for this con man should observe that he never changes, his methods remain the same, he goes for the juglar when he attacks LFC players and the club. You could guarantee that the day Bellamy and Pennant were signed, Oldham was rubbign his hands in glee, awaiting the first opportunity to make money from their talbloid “bad boy” reputations.

    We coudl expect this of the gutter rpess – but not from a LFC supporter.

    Time gentleman, please.

  4. Fat Tax Says:

    He’s a shithouse. A big, fat lying shithouse turd, peddling rumour and innuendo as fact to the gullible and ill-informed. Complete shithouse.


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