Blog that! – Part 2 – Koptalk Keystone Kracked

by Rupert Insider

Fatty Arbuckle and the Keystone Kops

These are the Keystone Kops. Their job is to find kracked and krooked keystones.

As you know, a keystone is defined as the wedge-shaped piece at the summit of an arch, regarded as holding the other pieces in place.

If a kracked keystone gives-way, the whole she-bang collapses.

Koptalk’s keystone is it’s claim to have “inside information ” about LFC.

That claim has been central to the site’s structure for more than seven years.

Oldham understood better than anyone else the importance of the keystone. He reinforced it continuously. In all those years, barely a day went by when he did not insinuate that he was the recipient of a new juicy morsel of inside news.

In the beginning he hinted he got it from three ex-players to whom he paid a very small royalty for use of part of their syndicated columns, or from the 17 year-old Irish apprentice he attached himself to until the club put a stop to it.

But in time he realised that it wasn’t necessary to go to any expense or trouble. He stopped paying for information. Instead he started charging for it.

The Big Lie Technique

He had discovered that the Big Lie technique is very powerful when an audience wants to believe. So he just stayed in bed and made it up – first in Scarborough and then in Wallsend.

At first he relied entirely on hints. For example, one of his sources is supposed to be a member of the board of directors publicly known to be in conflict with other members and interested in buying control of the club – a pretty broad hint about Steve Morgan. He would cite this unamed director when publishing “inside” information about boardroom politics or potential investment in the club. Except it was never more than inaccurate speculation by someone who clearly does not understand even the basic terms associated with investment. And Oldham doesn’t know Steve Morgan and wouldn’t be able to contact him even if he tried.

He would also refer to Rick Parry, Executive Director, as “the wallet” and follow up with a report from a mysterious poster whose user-name was “wallet”.

But as the years rolled by and the money rolled in and he got away with it, he grew bolder. Why bother with the precaution of a hint – why not just name names? So his informants became explicitly Rick Parry, Executive Director and Ian Cotton, Head of Press.

As recently as July he claimed that the Executive Director wanted Oldham to come to a meeting at Anfield to discuss something that Oldham had that Parry badly wanted. Oldham said he would use the occasion to get from him something he wanted. But he would make Parry wait until he was good and ready.

Advertising the Keystone

To reinforce the keystone of his site, he plastered it with “Official News from Anfield” banners and his Google tags referrred to it as the “Official Koptalk Site” and every item of news or rumor and his so-called “editorials” (all of which were linked from News Now and other newsfeed services) were underlined in large, bold, red caps with EXCLUSIVE NEWS AND WHISPERS FROM INSIDE ANFIELD, MELWOOD AND THE ACADEMY

Until three weeks ago, that is.

So what happened three weeks ago?

Well, in June the keystone kops arrived in a Blog – which is what they called their jerky jalopy. They suspected that the koptalk keystone was krooked.

In the course of their enquiries they took statements from LFC. They were told in writing from the Executive Director that he had never met with or communicated with Oldham and never would – and were told the same by Ian Cotton, Head of Press. They were reassured in interviews by senior officials that Oldham had no access whatsoever to the club.

As for his claims, repeated again in July, that the LFC Official Site had several times tried to hire him but he would never move “to the other side” – the keystone kops referred those claims to senior officials at the club. Their response was emphatic. Oldham was not the sort of person the club would even consider hiring.

Oldham’s response makes for an interesting study on how not to act when you are discovered to have been telling whoppers for years.

First he ranted that the contributors to the blog were “loons” – well that was the mildest of the 25 affectionate epithets he called them.

Then he said that the loons had never communicated with the club, and if they had, and if the club had responded, it was because the loons had misled the club.

He would put the record straight by calling Ian Cotton right then and there. A few hours later, early in the morning when only Australians were surfing, he reported back triumphantly. It was just as he thought – Cotton had confirmed on the telephone that he had never made the statements attributed to him by the Blog!

Oh dear! The keystone kops may be kooky but they leave no stone unturned – especially keystones – and they followed up their enquiries at LFC to show the club the transcripts of his remarks. The official in question confirmed that Oldham had still never had a conversation with Ian Cotton – his claim on KT was yet another barefaced lie!

But Oldham was not done yet. He made a big announcement that following hours of meeting with “the suits” he had arranged for “official Koptalk representation” at all games in the 2006-2007 season, and at all training sessions, press-conferences and all events at the club such as the unveiling of kit and new players.

He tied this announcement to his alleged hiring of a well-known Liverpool sports photographer and he mentioned the costs of image rights to be 12,000 pounds annually.

The photographer and his agency would henceforward be known as the “Koptalk photographer”. And to prove it, Oldham published a photograph from his agency showing Parry and Rafa looking at a text message.

True to form, Oldham had doctored the photo to place a black bar over the eyes of a man standing behind to suggest his identity had to be protected because he was one of KT informers.

In BB years (Before Blog) he may have got away with it. But the keystone kops analysed his claims in the blog, discussed them directly with LFC and wrote to the photographer in question. The photographer did not reply. But suffice to say that he does not supply photos to KT and Oldham has stopped claiming he does.

And Oldham is still excluded from all events at LFC, except public matches – which he prefers to watch on TV in his Portakabin in Wallsend, despite his claims to have bought a season ticket.

By July, LFC had issued Oldham with a demolition order. He was to remove from around his keystone all the grouting he had nicked from their yard.

He was to stop pretending to be “official”, or to claim to have access to the club or contact with LFC directors and employees or to be in possession of “exclusive” news from inside the club, or to continue to rip-off the Official Site of the photographs, videos, articles, the Rick Parry column and the Rafa column and interviews with players. He had been stealing this stuff from the club for years and selling it to members of his Insider and Gold Club.

Now Oldham was really mad – or scared! He threatend to talk to the “top brass” at the club about the “officials” who were making it difficult for him. Furthermore, he would now bring forward the publication date of his book to expose them to the world.

Of course he won’t – it would be too much like hard work and it will cost him money.

Instead he started complying with the LFC warning – removing the “official” and “exclusive” banners, omitting the stolen content, or most of it, even admitting that “I do not have a direct line to Parry’s office” and anyone who had believed he had was stupid.

So take that all you who believed his keystone claims and paid for the inside information that never was!

Oldham has not mentioned on KT that if he does not comply with the LFC warning he might be looking at some very embarrassing public denunciations from the club, as well as heavy legal fees and damages.

The “Local Media”

An important part of the Koptalk keystone was his alleged relationship with the local media.

He could not deny that the likes of Chris Bascombe of the Liverpool Echo enjoy a good reputation among supporters. So he tried to profit from it. First he stole their stories and presented them as Insider “exclusives” which also happened to be “confirmed by the local media”. Then he hinted that the reporters were also part of his Gold Club – his informants.

The keystone kops kooled that one. They spoke directly with Chris Bascombe. His response was “Koptalk? Is that still around? I thought it was closed down years ago”. And he sent the Blog an excerpt from an article he wrote in October 2001 in which he accused KT of an outrageous lie about Robbie Fowler.

The Big Question

This is a a summary, so I’m not going to list all the lies Oldham has told and all the deceptions he has used to make money. If readers are familiar with KT they already know the golden oldies. If they are regular readers of this blog they have seen his lies patiently unpicked on an almost daily basis by Insider who wanted to show the pattern – to demonstrate the techniques. And through his analysis we have seen that there is virtually nothing Oldham won’t lie about – however important or however trivial. He even lies about his name and his address.

So the question for today is – why was he allowed to get away with it for over seven years? Why did people pay him money? Why did those who did not pay him money support his site, suck up to him and allow him to besmirch the reputation of the club and bully and rip-off its supporters?

One answer might be found in the posts in the Insider and Gold Club in July and August from those who objected to the Blog’s revelations.

After parroting Oldham’s line that the Blog was jealous of Oldham’s success, they then took to parroting his line that the keystone kops had never communicated with the club and the club had never disassociated from him. And when that was proven false they parroted his line that Parry and Cotton and Bascombe and all the others had to deny involvement for “political” reasons.

That explanation is revealing. Why would it be “politically” harmful for all these worthy gentleman to be associated with the “World’s No. 1 Sports Site” and the “No.1 Site for LFC supporters”?

And if it would be politically harmful why would they risk their jobs, their professional relationships, their sources of information and their very reputations in order to provide a spiv from Yorkshire with snippets of exclusive information so he could sell it for up to 30 pounds to a few hundred anonymous people logging in from all around the world?

Those who still participate in the KT Gold Club and Insider or on the Free Forums might do a reality check from time to time and ask themselves if they are floating in North Africa on “de Nile”.

There are many good sites – based on truth, not lies, where the posters can communicate with each other freely without the overbearing presence of a money-grubber. Some of them are listed on the right of this page.


The keystone kops did not need a sledgehammer to krack the Koptalk keystone – they just asked a few simple questions.

Others can check our results independently by asking the same questions.

Oldham has his work cut out to keep the keystone in place. There’s no doubt it is kracked. Pieces of grouting are falling and the entire Koptalk structure has become unstable.

Is the damage structural or superficial? Let’s have a look.

To be continued – Blog that! – Part 3

For a moving demonstration of how a keystone works and in acknowledgement of the artwork above, go here:


27 Responses to “Blog that! – Part 2 – Koptalk Keystone Kracked”

  1. lobster Says:

    that was beautifully done, rupert!!!

  2. scouse Says:

    Can’t wait to hear the summary on the damage. The thing that always strikes me is that is that he’s been doing it for that long I can’t see him going away any time soon, ok hes getting exposed more and more daily but the pressure needs to stay on until the end.

    I think one thing that Koptalk could do to ‘clear’ their name is to actually answer any of the legit questions put to them, do they think that by ignoring them they will just go away? Better get filing those accounts Oldham…

  3. Fred Says:

    scouse: I agree – if Dunk allowed open discussion on KopTalk relating to the issues raised, then he would get the opportunity to repudiate the allegations made against him. If he could convince people that he genuinely isn’t a scheming crook then his members would be happier and no doubt this blog would cease to exist.

    It appears his current tactic is to issue threats to members who express dissatisfaction with the site, which in my opinion is an indication that the allegations against him are true. If I were accused of defrauding people then I’d defend myself by articulating the evidence rather than making or encouraging malicious phone calls or the threat of physical violence as indicated by the latest innuendo.

  4. Tom Says:

    Nice metaphor mr bear. Looking forward to part 3.

  5. rupertinsider Says:

    Scouse: “The thing that always strikes me is that is that he’s been doing it for that long I can’t see him going away any time soon..”

    Thousands have left KT in the last 7 years. Some have attempted to expose him.

    But this is the first time that anyone has confronted his central structural lie. That is the main point of my article. And it wasn’t very difficult to do it.

    In the past he has said his critics were jealous, or rivals or those who had been banned. The next day he would change the subject by revealing some juicy morsel of inside information. That’s how he recruited replacements for those who had left and reinforced those who stayed.

    This is the first time that Liverpool Football Club has spoken. They say he has never had access to the club, his so-called sources at the club have never had any communication with him and never will. Furthermore, they say he is lying when he says that he called them to check on the activites of Blog contribuytors. He never called them. And the club confirms that what the Blog published as the position of the club was the considered position of the club.

    Unlike the tension between Oldham and his former critics – this is not a matter of opinion. Anyone reading this can check it for themselves. Anyone can contact the club and ask the same questions we asked. Anyone can contact Bascombe or the others who Oldham claims are his sources.

    Oldham is a limited person. So its not surprising that his first reaction will be to treat the club as he treated ex-members. He tried to portray the club as his rival and enemy – and threaten its officials with exposure – just like his Ma, or whoever, last week threatened to expose to their employer some posters who criticised his site.

    People should decide. Do they support LFC or this spiv?

    He wants to open a Newcastle and Spurs and Forest site. We should encourage him to bugger off and do it.

  6. lfc_1892 Says:

    Hi Rupert,

    This blog has definitely opened up my eyes. Thanks for it. Also, your articles have well and truly exposed Oldham’s lies. I hope this message reaches some hardcore Koptalkers who still continue to believe in him and his lies.

  7. The Red Lion Landlord Says:

    Oh how I laughed when d*nk made a joke about being in bed with his daughters twelve year old mates on tonights podcast. Ha Ha hes the man, erm I suppose. Cuntalk will inevitabley fold but will you continue the blog afterwards? Are you after D*nk or Wanktalk?

  8. univofchicago Says:

    Excellent post Rups! As always!

    Like you said, those teaser headlines and bullshit claims have drastically decreased thanks to this blog (although they still exist)

  9. univofchicago Says:

    “Cuntalk will inevitabley fold but will you continue the blog afterwards? Are you after D*nk or Wanktalk?”

    If Koptalk folds, then I am sure the blog will cease to exist – as long as he doesn’t start another shady business related to LFC.

    But Koptalk doesn’t have to fold. If Dunk has the guts to admit his wrongs and correct the mistakes, I am sure there is every chance that he can get his members back.

  10. barry wom Says:

    Great article Rupert. This type of thing is good to read for the likes of me who have followed the blog for a while and equally for any new people who have not yet been made aware of Oldham’s lies.

    Does Insider still have all the email addies of the Koptalk members? I think this article would be a brilliant one to send on to them.

  11. Sinon Says:

    Nicely collated article Rupert.

    I wrote to the Premier League and got an email and phone call reply from Netresult (who act for the Premier League) who were looking into Dunk and did indeed talk to the fat man himself. As you mentioned – several people have also contacted Ian Cotton, his ‘photographer’ and Chris Bascombe. People have also mentioned contacting Newcastle council about his ‘business’ premises and the Data Protection Act regarding their details being held – did anyone get a reply?

    Where should be the next letters be sent? Who should be informed of how Duncan Oldham exploits them or bypasses laws? Just because the season has started lets not stop guys and gals!

  12. Toby Says:

    Good piece Rupert

    Scouse and Fred – I don’t believe there is any way on this earth Duncan Oldham will open up and ‘actually answer any of the legit questions put to him’. His very business is built on lies and deceipt. Opening up would be hari-kari and admittance that he is wrong.

    The keystone cannot be fixed – it has to come down!

  13. trickyd Says:

    This is a really good post, Rupert

    When Koptalk folds I expect Oldham will just change his name and try another scam – can’t see him doing a 9 to 5 job.

    Hopefully somebody will still go after him re the dodgy ‘charity’ donations he’s taken off his members.

  14. sawyerinsider Says:

    Nice articulate post rupert.

    red lion landlord: you mentioned some tasteless paedaphilia joke in his podcast, does anyone care to elaborate on this, on what was said, and in what context? This shows everyone what kind of “person” we are dealing with here, I’d say man but we all know he ain’t no man.

  15. ROCK Says:

    insider, have you or anyone else tried to get in contact with richie p to see if he might make any comment on his involvement with kt?

  16. Toby Says:

    I saw George Sephton last week and forgot to ask him about his views on Duncan Oldham.

  17. Chunka Says:

    Ahh I remember that. Wonder if he was ever a paid writer

  18. rupertinsider Says:

    “Ma jigga, Ruff, keepin’ it real.

    Da rival blog owners and banned formers members of this blog (the sad *******) buggin’ ‘n bumpin’ da Big Daddy. They is playaz, haps in da hood?. Rise up foos, we is not rollin deep wi dis wack shit. I gonna steal yo. Yo is no bo jangling here. Ruff packin’ a piece an ma bruva da po-leece in da Wallsend hood, yo. Ball out or Ruff be bustin’ a cap in yo ass.

    Peace out. ”

    Rapped to the tune of “Land of Hope and Glory”

  19. The Red Lion Landlord Says:

    Sawyer insider

    They were talking about how Dunk couldnt take time off due to sickness. It was a joke involving an imaginary phonecall to K*ptalk HQ saying he couldnt come in because he was unwell. “Hello Steve, its Dunk. I can’t come in today because I’m sick”, “How sick are you?”, “well, I”ve got two of Charlottes friends in my bed and they’re only 12″

  20. Duncan (no, not that one) Says:

    Fantastic article, as always.

    It will be interesting to see what “insider exclusives” kraptalk comes up with when the transfer window closes…

  21. Says:

    Now that should be passed onto the police.

  22. it was me Says:

    It was me ! (well, I am sure I was one of many). I supplied proof to both the Insider Insider & Tom that Dunk “never” has had and never will meet with Rick Parry. As well as Ian Cotton – he has never spoken to Koptalk “in his life” and thinks his claims are “laughable”. I guess I run the risk of betraying the confidence shown in me by these individuals, but I believe it worth it, just to stop this man and his lies – let’s face it, the guy is an lying bastard – I don’t know how he sleeps at night. I just can’t believe I feel for it and I’ll do anything to assist other from making the same mistake.

  23. rupertinsider Says:

    It was a sick joke – how many of you would use the name of your child in the context of a joke like that – let alone publish it on the net? Especially given the other times he has mentioned that same child in other “sick” contexts.

  24. txtoto Says:

    Nice one Rupert!

    You should really give Dunk a hand with his book!

  25. univofchicago Says:

    “You should really give Dunk a hand with his book!”

    Oops. I almost forgot about that “book”!

    “The book will be published before the end of the 2006-07 season. A further announcement will be made during week 1 of the season.” Duncan Oldham, 7 July 2006.

    And I remember when Oldham posted that message on his website, Dunk apologists blasted the blog for raising the issue: “It’s only a book”, “Didn’t you hear him? He is going to publish it this year!”.

    He’s lied to us about the book for more than three years now. It is about time everyone accepts the fact that Dunk will NEVER publish the book.

  26. Peter Says:

    nice work rupert, very well articulated.

  27. rupertinsider Says:

    Itwasme: From your description of yourself I think I know who you are.

    I am aware of your contact with the club etc and , if you don’t mind, I count you as one of the keystone kops because I think you made reference to the blog in your communications.

    I am aware of how you represent a group of fans of a certain country and are well connected with the club.

    But I personally had contacted the club before your letters to the Executive Director and Head of Press. Then some of our contributors did the same and received replies from the club. We had follow-up conversations and correspondence.

    This was in addition to your own sterling work. Your communications with the club reinforced and added to what we had learned.

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