DUNCAN OLDHAM Eliminates Koptalk’s Longest Thread

DUNCAN OLDHAM Eliminates Koptalk’s Longest Thread

By Rupert Insider

_________________________________________________________

Koptalk: Senior Forum:

Thread title: You Really Can’t Can You? Author: DJ Sydney

Responses: 260 written – several hours of work by KopTalk contributors.

Terms of Judgment from the Bench: “Just found this post… been busy. Will move to it to the Board Room and it will be reviewed on Friday. Then we’ll either ban or demote people. I don’t want any nonsense on these forums. If you want nonsense there are plenty of LFC communities out there that will let you do what you want. That won’t be allowed here.”

Action Taken: Thread locked by Judge Oldham.

“All be upstanding for de Judge “

De Judge Exits

Final Sentence: The thread is eliminated in secret after the courthouse closes – by the application of lethal software from the de Judge’s chambers.
_______________________________________

I read the entire thread all 260 posts. It started with a post by DJ Sydney which said Rafa has limited funds. He bought Pennant rather than Alves because he needs to conserve some cash to buy a striker. People on KT should give Pennant a chance.

That was it – that’s all he said. He presented it as a 1,500 word essay on metaphysics. It was painful to read – like watching an elephant at a circus do counting tricks with its paws (do elephant’s have paws?). But DJ said nothing remarkable or objectionable.

Then it started. First the toadies – crawling on their knees to kiss the feet (or is it paws) of the great scribe. “Great post DJ….that’s why I clock into KT everyday DJ….finest post I’ve ever read DJ….you speak with the tongue of an angel DJ (I made that last one up).

The opposition warmed up slowly. It was eerily polite at first: point- counterpoint: point-counterpoint: point-counterpoint. It droned on like a tennis match on geriatric day. But it was all very disciplined and worthy.

Then Brendan arrived. Not the OLD Brendan but the NEW emasculated, blog-cured Brendan, with nary a swear word, not even in dyslexic-style spelling, and no exclamation marks. Just normal sentences with subject, objects and verbs – so boring!

It was left to Ryan to enliven the proceedings. But even he started off in his altar boy mode talking to the parish priest Father DJ. “Excuse me Father, may I make a confession…..”

And to be fair to Ryan, even when he inserted a couple of “fcukings” in his first response to DJ it was no worse than gentle suppressed coughing during a long sermon in the Cathedral.

However the Right Reverend DJ Sydney was in no mood to have anyone break his spell-binding control over the congregation. Placing his belly on the edge of the pulpit and leaning over like an eagle searching for its prey, he fixed Ryan with his beady eyes. He said Ryan was the only one who used naughty words, the only one who had not made a perfect act of contrition the only one showing disrespect for the House of God.

Ryan struggled to make his point. After several failed attempts he got it out. He was against the Pennant signing because we need a striker not a right winger. We have other players who can fill the RW position, especially his darling Garcia. And if we were going to spend so much money on a right winger why spend it on a “criminal”.

Brendan tried to take the spotlight from Ryan. His first gambit, as always, was to try to turn the conversation from Pennant to “Lurch”. But nobody was interested.

Then the NEW Brendan overcame the OLD and he decided it was more prudent just to throw Ryan a lifeline.

He said that this time (as opposed to all the other times?) Ryan really was angry – not just pretending. Ryan sent him a kiss, and told everyone that Brendan was gorgeous. Brendan simpered and modestly admitted that it was no longer true (no longer?). Lack of sleep had turned his hair grey and he had become twitchy (no mention of his weight?). Ryan, now desperate for a hug from someone, even Brendan, said he really fancied older men.

But in some ways Ryan had the best post. He characterized the thread as the same programmed responses from the same old names (including his, I suppose?).

That was the signal for the devil in Ryan to appear – like in the “Exorcist” when the girl starts vomiting green sick and her head turns around and she swears blasphemously in a deep rasping voice?

It usually happens to Ryan when he’s jealous. He doesn’t like to concede that anyone can write or controvert on KT better than he, especially DJ.

He became restless – you know how when kids decide a bloody good commotion is called for and they dig themselves deeper and deeper in nihilist frenzy? Well that was Ryan. But not like the OLD Ryan. He did maintain some control, carping on about how posters on KT always follow the party-line.

In fact there was only one post where he said “fcuking” more than three times. It was a jeer at his nemesis, DJ. And it was the first glimpse of the OLD Ryan – the pre-blog, pre-happy-clappers Ryan. But that one post was his undoing.

The Boy Scout Troop in the front pew gasped, their hands flying to cover their mouths as though they, themselves had used the word. And then they started tut-tutting.

And that’s where we came in. Go back to the top of this article to find out what happened to KopTalk’s longest, and perhaps most “sensible”, best-argued, on-topic thread in years when de Judge arrived.

Rupert Insider

 

FOOTNOTE: Do you want to see more or less articles like these? I’ve added it as a different category – Koptalk Zoo! It serves a purpose in that it shows how Duncan Oldham doesn’t like to see his members have too much freedom, but it also shows how, in Rupert’s eyes, the members the “Zoo” (Duncan’s description) have started to change, if only slightly, in the time since this blog began. It’s also quite funny. That’s only my view, I do invite your views too.
Insider Insider

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35 Responses to “DUNCAN OLDHAM Eliminates Koptalk’s Longest Thread”

  1. lobster Says:

    Nice one rupert! keep ’em coming.

  2. Ryan Says:

    Cripes, I’m famous!

  3. Ryan Says:

    Moi?

  4. Dickster Says:

    Sorry, It’s a no from me. Bit boring and pompous….. (decides to run the other way!)

  5. Newish member Says:

    And Ryan has now been banned, after first being demoted!

  6. Nome de Plume Says:

    Poor Ryan just got his arse banned permanantly from KT. The place will be quieter without him. Especially since Brendan’s balls seem to have ascended and is almost polite these days.

  7. Newish member Says:

    Koptalk Misconceptions
    Has Ryan been demoted? lol
    I liked the idea of the thread though.
    no ryan …
    Dunk was saying yesterday that he was going to have a look over syds thread and take some action over people…
    So hat happend to Steve taking care of the forums instead of Dunk???
    Nah, it was cos of the KT misconceptions thread
    *what
    Was it? was there abuse all over that one too?
    thinks Ryan may have trod on some toes
    Ryan has been demoted because of his obsession with DJ. It’s pathetic.
    I don’t know if it turned abusive, but it was one of the most blatant (and amusing) pieces of baiting I’ve seen in a while
    exactly “baiting”
    but dunk, honestly, they both go at it non-stop …
    doubt that Ryan has been demoted. Just needs a kick up the @rse every now and then.
    Friday Fun on KT as always I see…
    roland – then i’m going to cyrpus … either or, i will get to this game .. and I HOPE it’s in TEl Aviv … we shouldn’t be allowing the terrorists to win …
    basically he was just using it as a ‘subtle’ way of having a pop at Syd after last nights ‘difference of opinion’
    his demotion was nothing to do with today, it was the thread from yesterday
    and if he continues today he’ll be banned for good and so will anyone who moans about it. sick of hearing about people who cant be adult and just ignore people they dont like.
    they both insulted each other, one with curses, the other without …
    Ah i see….
    and the shout box isnt for discussing other member so i suggest we move on

  8. Robbie Says:

    As much as I dont like that sad liar (Dunk), I think you’re slightly obsessed with these posters(esp. Brendan)…Its an internet forum mate, dont take what they say that seriously….He doesnt like “Lurch” and what? I find it funny actually, there’s no need to read between the lines, take the post as it is imo. I dont think they have any kind of conections with Dunk.
    Dunk is the man, stay focused on him. Dont waste your time with the other posters…

    PS: I’d like to know what is behind your Dunk’s obsession…

  9. Newish member Says:

    Sorry that last comment was copied from the shoutbox but it doesnt show the usernames, please delete (or try to guess which comments are Fatties!!)

  10. rupertinsider Says:

    Newish: You can cut and paste the names if you remove the from them.

  11. rupertinsider Says:

    If you remove the two brackets from either side of the names – WordPress removes the brakcets and anything between them (as it just removed them from my previous comment)

  12. Newish member Says:

    OK lets try again….

    H Koptalk Misconceptions
    Gene Hughes Has Ryan been demoted? lol
    Gene Hughes I liked the idea of the thread though.
    LeTallecWiz no ryan …
    nikeser22 Dunk was saying yesterday that he was going to have a look over syds thread and take some action over people…
    H So hat happend to Steve taking care of the forums instead of Dunk???
    singlerider Nah, it was cos of the KT misconceptions thread
    H *what
    nikeser22 Was it? was there abuse all over that one too?
    singlerider thinks Ryan may have trod on some toes
    Dunk Ryan has been demoted because of his obsession with DJ. It’s pathetic.
    singlerider I don’t know if it turned abusive, but it was one of the most blatant (and amusing) pieces of baiting I’ve seen in a while
    Dunk exactly “baiting”
    LeTallecWiz> but dunk, honestly, they both go at it non-stop …
    doubt that Ryan has been demoted. Just needs a kick up the @rse every now and then.
    anitaLFC Friday Fun on KT as always I see…
    LeTallecWizroland – then i’m going to cyrpus … either or, i will get to this game .. and I HOPE it’s in TEl Aviv … we shouldn’t be allowing the terrorists to win …
    singlerider basically he was just using it as a ‘subtle’ way of having a pop at Syd after last nights ‘difference of opinion’
    Dunk his demotion was nothing to do with today, it was the thread from yesterday
    Dunk and if he continues today he’ll be banned for good and so will anyone who moans about it. sick of hearing about people who cant be adult and just ignore people they dont like.
    LeTallecWiz they both insulted each other, one with curses, the other without …
    nikeser22 Ah i see….
    Dunk and the shout box isnt for discussing other member so i suggest we move on

  13. Robbie Says:

    thanks Newish…
    hahaha hilarious stuff…

  14. Insider Insider Says:

    Re-read the comments please – some new comments have appeared that had been stuck in the queue until five minutes ago.

  15. univofchicago Says:

    Robbie:

    I find it funny too. That is the whole point. The blog is mainly about Duncan and his con-works. But this is a ‘blog’. That is why we, once in a while, sidetrack a bit and look at ‘other’ issues like the comical three at koptalk. Just for fun that is all.

    As for our obsession with Dunk…I don’t know if “obsession” is the right word. I’m just very upset at him. We have different reasons, its subjective. The insider-insider talked about his motivation VERY well in the insider-insider comments that is to your right: https://koptalkinsider.wordpress.com/2006/06/19/insider-insider-comments My main motivation is a bit different. There are so many things bad about Dunk, you can sure that there are many reasons for our dislike of Duncan Oldham.

  16. Ryan Says:

    Hi rupert!

  17. rupertinsider Says:

    Hi Ryan. Welcome to the blog. If you fucking swear at me I’ll do you!

  18. Sinon Says:

    Welcome Ryan, come to give Dunk a kicking, or have you fallen on your sword?

    Can someone ban Rupert, the twat spelt fcuk wrong..,

  19. Ryan Says:

    Rupert, Rupert, Rupert…

    So nice to make your acquaintance after all this time. I must say, I’ve been close to responding to your wholly amateur musings about me over the months, but have managed to either find something better to do, or gouge out my eyeballs with a spoon.

    Are you going to continue with this charade now that I’m here, or has my recent leap of faith from KT to here excused me from such ‘banter’?

  20. Ryan Says:

    Sinon – No, I’ve rarely had any problems with Dunk, if I’m honest.

    He ain’t the worst, despite this site’s ramblings to the contrary.

    So fcuk if he robs material, and makes money. Are all users of this site paradigms of virtuosity? I highly fcukin doubt it.

    Anyway, my issue doesn’t lie with Dunk, as I rarely engaged with him on a daily basis. Some of his ‘Mods’ though, I do take umbrage with…

  21. Robbie Says:

    Univofchicago:

    I didnt need the blog to see Dunk’s methods, its been obvious to me since the first days i joined Koptalk… The blog just confirmed what i thought of him, well fair enough its even worse than i thought…
    I think now its up to the club to act and stop Dunk’s farce for good. Its getting ludicrous now but if nobody acts and sue him, nothing will happen and KT will continue as it is.

    To create a blog like this (dont get me wrong, i agree with most of what is said on here), there must be a reason behind this. When you follow KT on a daily basis, post by post, im sorry it can be called obsession. Maybe Insider already explained his motivations but personnaly i couldnt be arsed doing this all day long.

    I only hope its purely on good faith and for real LFC fans and not for some kind of personal vendeta…

  22. K0PPER Says:

    Funny stuff!

  23. rupertinsider Says:

    Ryan:

    My “amateur musings” told me that you probably like attention on public boards, even if it is critical attention. One of your more enduring traits on KT is the generosity with which you congratulate your “adversaries”.

    One of your friends who posts on here told us that in real life your are nicer than your KT persona. But I readily admit your KT persona has thousands (well dozens) of swooning fans.

    I understand that you don’t agree with the aims of this blog – indeed you have been caustically and amusingly critical of it on KT . And you have received a reply in kind.

    Speaking for myself, you are genuinally welcome. I hope you enjoy the opportunity to vent real emotions freely.

    I doubt that any on here (or very few) are motivated by personnel vendetta’s even against Oldham, and certainly not against those who use his site. We don’t like his practices and his false claims about his and KT relationship with LFC.

    To anwer your question, no, I won’t engage in any more personal musings about you – unless, of couse, you play an active public role in KT which calls for comment.

    BTW what is this “Kinel” they put in front of your name on that long winding thread yesterday that disappeared into the ether?

  24. Sinon Says:

    Its an abreviation of ‘fucking hell’ Rupert, as in ‘kin hell.

  25. rupertinsider Says:

    Sinon Thanks – Ryan replied to me privately. Apparently its cockney gangsta rap – so that probably explains why I never heard it before.

  26. Chunka Says:

    Look at you 2, Getting all cosy with your private messaging thing…

  27. rupertinsider Says:

    Chunka – Those who say it is “personal” “obsessive” and “hysterical” just don’t get it.

  28. rupertinsider Says:

    Robbo: Did you know you said this? “Dunk is the man, stay focused on him. Dont waste your time with the other posters… PS: I’d like to know what is behind your Dunk’s obsession…”

  29. Robbie Says:

    you got a point but its still related to Dunk…I’d just like to know the real WHY this blog exists…

  30. rupertinsider Says:

    Robbie: The implication of your question and your previous posts is that all the reasons given by the various people who post here are not the REAL reasons. Why do you think there are other reasons? Why would people be passionate about expressing themselves on this subject not give their REAL reasons? What would be the point of that?

    One of the arguments you made earlier – if I can paraphrase you – is that the the organising and maintenance of the blog takes time and effort. This suggest strong motivation. The reasons given for the blog are not sufficient to explain that motivation.

    Why not? We are shadow boxing – what do you mean?

  31. Robbie Says:

    No no, i’ve never questioned other posters’ motivations, they’re like mine I think…Believe me I’m not the only one who thinks its a bit of obsession. To spend the entire day to read all the forums and check Dunk, Steve, Wallet or Katie’s posts…like I said i couldnt be bothered…Why is that so important to you? Were you a KT administrator?(well i dont think so) Did Dunk rob you or one of your friends or family? thats what i meant with strong motivations…
    Im only a LFC fan and now im gonna watch the game in a pub, the rest is history…
    YNWA

  32. Insider Insider Says:

    Robbie, I can’t speak for Rupert, but without giving too much away it doesn’t take me too long at all to read those posts. I don’t always read the posts myself from the site – I get them sent to me. I don’t always spot every post either, I know this must be the case because I don’t read every thread. Some days I don’t look at Koptalk myself at all.

    What do you do all day Robbie? I’m guessing you’re a member of Koptalk and that you post on there.

    Apologies if I’ve missed it, but what do you think of Koptalk? Do you use it? Do you like it? Do you compare it to other sites and find it better? I’d like to hear alternate points of view.

  33. Robbie Says:

    I was a KT member but i’ve been banned, Im on holiday these days and spending my afternoons on the beach(not today its a bit cloudy)…Reagardless of Dunk’s methods, I’d say its not worse or better than any other LFC forums…As I said, I was aware about Dunks money-grabing-TheSun (spell) not long after i joined KT(I was posting in the academy forum)..He’s a sad little person but eh I just want to talk about football and LFC when i post on KT or Est1892 or TalkLfc or whatever…

    The final answer to this Dunk farce has to be taken by the club itself,…but after reading Cotton’s email, its obvious they have more important things to do than dealing with an internet fool…

  34. rupertinsider Says:

    Robbie: I agree LFC have better things to do, in terms of prioity. But they are on his case.

    The problem for LFC is that Oldham and KT is not of their making. They’ve never met or talked or corresponded with him. They never will. They don’t read his site. He is shunned at LFC.

    KT is a problem for supporters to deal with because Oldham claims he is the No. 1 supporters (unofficial site) he claims to represent supporters. In fact he could not survive if people did not pay him money and visit his site. He lies to supporters not to LFC.

    LFC have an official fan site – the largest LFC site in the world – despite what Oldham says about his No. 4 site.

    So if LFC wants to deal with him they have to know on what grounds they should step into the private business of fans.

    There are grounds – but I don’t want to detail them here. Why should we give Oldham a heads-up?

  35. Ted R. Says:

    To be fair, that Sidney lad is one nasty little cnut. He’s the most argumentitivie, whinging little twat on the internet. He’s exactly the kind of dude who you would be happy to see getting a ‘real life’ kicking.


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