Koptalk's trip to fantasy land

last_supper.jpgThe liar from Yorkshire stepped over a line tonight by making unfounded accusations against what we can only assume was us. So we’ll be stepping up the campaign against him now. He’s still got the right to reply – email us at koptalkinsider @ gmail.com – but we’re no longer guaranteeing that we’ll go so easy on him.

Send us anything you know about him. Official bodies are already on his tail from the actions of some of our readers, but now it’s time for all of us to show him we won’t tolerate any more of his nonsense.

Still, we like to try and keep things as much fun as possible on here, so click the thumbnail above for the latest “Where’s Dunk?” photo. This was sent in to us by “a friend of the blog”. Thanks – and keep ’em coming.

After the ton o’ lard’s mummy let him back out of his bedroom for being naughty he sneaked back onto his computer and posted this. It also included a video which was taken by a man with very very nervously shaking hands. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0_hKeOLW2c if you really want to see it.

Dunk KopTalk Editor
Posts: 1997
Post: Melwood trip (Topic#17003)
03-07-06 08:48 PM – Post#252349

We’ve been at Melwood today trying out some of our new gear and also checking out properties that overlook the training facilities with a view to purchasing one. One particular property would enable us to have CCTV on the main gates this would mean we’d never miss an in or an out guaranteed – however it’s £250k but I’ll speak with the bank this week to see what options we have. There was one at £150k which overlooked the actual greens (rather than the car park and entrance) but I did prefer the bigger one. There’s others I haven’t checked out yet. I think they’ll say “no chance” fatty, you’ve no proof of earnings and your name is mud (google “Duncan Oldham” to see what we mean).

We didn’t concentrate that much on the players today as most of their work was done indoors (it was roasting). However we will be back when all the players are present. (You managed to film a bit from over the fence, but you’ve not got an x-ray camera.)

One good result today was that we have now recruited a gateman. I’ve been trying to do this for years. Basically that means he’s in our pocket but we’ll leave that there as to not give his I.D. away. We’re now in touch with him via his brother but at a price! (Two things. 1 – You are lying and it’s yet another slur against LFC or 2 – you’ve found someone as corrupt as you. Quite a serious offence depending on the details really.)

A LOT of paparazzi were there today.
(Pretty much what you are really, although you’ve less integrity.) I spent an hour or so chatting with them and they said they were there to try and get some decent photos of Craig Bellamy. It’s funny because everywhere I went, they went… they’d then pull up and say “Have you seen him yet?” – I told him he’d left (he hadn’t) and they were gutted. Not sure if they finally caught up with him. (In other words, you’d not seen him either.)

While most of the players rushed off, Robbie was one of the last ones out. He looked shattered though. He called in at the newsagents up the street and was still in his shorts… he bought two bottles of gin, 60 Regal, 4 Mars bars… only joking… he just needed some juice (Sounds like someone’s proud of his attempts to cause trouble for Robbie a few years back.)

He exchanged a few words with the old dears, jumped in his 4×4 and did one. (If he’d recognised you he might have had a few words with you too, but not quite an interview.)

Jerzy attracted a lot of attention today with everyone wanting to speak to him about his burglary. He looked real well and very, very happy.

Gary Ablett that was there as I revealed on my PDA earlier. Ever tried viewing never mind posting to a website on when of them? Jeez… it took ages! (I’ve not tried myself to be honest, but I’m sure it’s not that difficult if you buy a decent one). Anyway, I thought it was funny when we were linked with him but I tell you what, they can’t speak highly enough of him and he looked the part today big time. (Who’s “they”? You claimed you’d chatted to Ablett earlier too until someone told you they knew his family and they’d ask about it. That thread was deleted then. Why? Hiding something? Barnpot.)

(Remember – Dunk’s still riding around in old van but also gets to use his teenage companion’s (Steve’s) Ka.) So who do you think had the nicest car today? Well apart from me obviously…. NEIL FECKING MELLOR! How much is he on like?! I was shocked.

Anyway, like I said, we were there just to test out the new camcorder (which doesn’t have tapes or disks so can be hooked up to a laptop for quick transfer to the site) and to see some of the properties currently on the market. This wasn’t one of our normal recon missions. But you can look at the clip if you like although it’s hardly exciting. (Wonder if it says that in the user manual – “to test the camcorder please drive a few hundred miles. Then drive all the way home again to upload the videos. Zoom in and out a lot so that nothing much can be seen.” I somehow can’t see any offers for properties in Melwood being put in by fatty. Ever.)

All the way from Wallsend to Melwood for what? Not a lot really, and still no insider news for his paying customers.


12 Responses to “Koptalk's trip to fantasy land”

  1. chapeau du soleil Says:

    Lets consider a quote from his booksite fattyexposed.com
    “VIP readers of KopTalk include the likes of Robbie Fowler”

    Seeing as Robbie wasn’t in a rush and is a VIP reader of Koptheft, why didn’t he stop and have a chat with his old mate Uncle Chunk?
    Because he either doesn’t know you, or would have run you down. In fact, thats reminded me to get a message to Robbie 🙂

  2. rupert Says:

    I informed Robbie of Dunk’s shenanginans many years ago. He is well aware of them. So is Maddox – the Mirror guy and co-author of Robbie’s book- and many others. But it would do no harm to remind people. Fatty lives by the S** philosophy – it doesn’t matter if you publish fake Hitler Diaries, or fake reports of what Robbie and his mates are doing – its all “entertainment” and if it brings in the hits what more justification do you need.

  3. Neil Says:

    Love that pic – The Va Dunky Code 🙂

    That password stuff is good and I emailed Adobe’s anti-piracy people.

    Fight the good fight

  4. rupert Says:

    Nice foto joke! If Dunk could get his hands on the Holy Grail he’d raffle it on Ebay (thinks its a bottle of good wine, you see).

    Anyway since we are on Da Vinci jokes I thought I’d reprint my info on his book – I’ve edited it a bit.
    As we all know, the working title of Fatty’s forthcoming book- for which he has been banking advance payments for the last five years – is “Anfield Exposed”.

    It’s not widely known that the plot is about the murder of the curator of the Louvre in Paris, which leads an American cryptologist to team up with a gorgeous French secret police woman (who turns out to be a direct descendant of Christ and Mary Magadalene). In a race against time, they compete for the Holy Grail with an albino lay monk, a Cardinal from the Vatican and a gay English art antiquarian.

    At KT headquarters it has not gone unoticed that there are remarkable similarities between “Anfield Exposed” and The Da Vinci Code.

    Fatty is very upset. He paid a goodly sum to a guy in a pub to write his book. The fact that the guy palmed him off with a pirated copy of the DV Code does not alter, in Fatty’s view, his right to share in the profits of the original. He feels cheated – more fcheated even than those KT readers who paid in advance.

    He is now huddled with his advisors – Stevie and his Ma – to consider how to cash in on the Dan Brown’s millions.

    Expect a classic KT response – a new web site http://www.thedavincicde.com registered in the name of Duncan Oldham. He’ll also re-title his book “How I Sought and Found the Holy Grail, also known as “Big Ears”, and Returned it to the Kop”

  5. Toby Says:

    The bloke drives a 400 mile round trip and still misses out on seeing Aurelio at Melwood today. lol

    For someone who likes to keep his anonymity and hides behind a PO box (since his video card scam days!) I’d be very surprised if he bought a house outside Melwood. I’d be one of the first to nip around to welcome him to the area, but I’m sure there’ll be a nice queue of people with support tickets in hand.

    In fact, I think his latest tale of personal threats to his family may well be the start of the U-turn. I fully expect the house sale to fall through because of conjured up threats of violence to him and his posse.

  6. chapeau du soleil Says:

    speaking of the sky card scam, this thread was a classic – Del / Dunk on Usenet thread.

    Hey, didn’t fatty have a dog called Del?

  7. rupert Says:

    Come to think of it Fatty never talks about his dogs.

    When his racing greyhound or “lurch” was seized by the authorities because it was neglected and then put out for adoption – did he sign ownership of it over to the authorities to avoid prosecution. or was he, in fact, prosecuted?

    Did he sell all the other racing dogs?

    Was he banned from owning racing dogs or any other pets?

    Why doesn’t he have a dog – it would give Steve a rest.

  8. chapeau du soleil Says:


    In keeping with the “fantasy” topic, does anyone know who ever won the excuse-to -collect-photos, sorry I mean Miss Koptalk?

    Another new feature that will be launched will be a Miss Kop Talk competition. If you are female you can enter yourself or the boys can enter their girlfriends / wifes in to the competition. We’ll be publishing photos of the girls in their Liverpool colours (shirts, full kit – whatever people send in) and every user will be given the opportunity to cast their vote. The winner will receive some girlie things, some Boots vouchers and a couple of match tickets. If you’d like to enter yourself, your partner or your friend , just email us and attach a suitable photo or you can use snail mail. Kop Talk, P.O. Box 145, SCARBOROUGH, YO12 7XU, ENGLAND.

  9. Insider Insider Says:

    Chapeau – Dunk did have a dog called Del – see Wayback in time.

  10. rupert Says:

    chapeau du soleil:

    I see from that link that Dunkin had four house ogs and some fish. He doesn’t mention the half a dozen greyhounds or “lurches” he had. I wonder if he still has his house dogs – he never mentions them. Or were they taken into care and put up for adoption like his greyhound?

    I also see that Dalglish was one of his mates. Why not Pele or Maradonna?

    And our lovable metrosexual boasts about his rampant sexual prowess and the fertility of his seed more than once in that little resume. But that was probably written when he was only 20 stone and could still find it without an embedded beeper.

  11. chapeau du soleil Says:

    Rupert, I don’t think Pele or Maradona owned the Blue Bar at the time 🙂

  12. Ringpiece Says:

    Well spotted mate, I think you’ve just rumbled fatty’s next move, all this personal threat horseshit is his get-out card.

    Cue the withdrawal of the Kraptalk house followed by the collapse of the horseshit hotel.

    On a side issue we haven’t heard much from the horseshit brigade (Informer, private eye, wallet e.t.c.) since the last horseshit caper by “the Wallet” was found to be 100% prime horseshit.

    You’d think that they would all be falling over themselves with info!
    What with it being the busiest time of the year.

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