We didn’t spot the latest Koptalk ‘editorial’ yesterday straight away. Well we did but we didn’t read it, some ancient instinctive reflex seemed to distract us from it. Then someone emailed us about it and we endured it after all.
Duncan is now redirecting the bullshit in a different direction in the great Koptalk u-bend. He’s done a u-turn. After threatening to use a tape he claimed to have in order to end the Liverpool career of Peter Crouch, the queen of bullshit now says he loves the lad.
He’s by no means the only person to change his view on Crouch – half the English nation did when he repeated his robot dance on the pitch for England. It’s just that most people didn’t go from one extreme to the other. From hating Crouch to loving him? Seems a little strange. As of course did his undying love for Djibril Cisse. He claims Crouch will be his new cult hero. He should try and work out what “cult hero” means the dope. As has been pointed out on here though (in the comments) – Duncan Oldham also has extreme views on other strikers. He said “Close the door on your way out” as he celebrated Robbie Fowler’s departure to Leeds after he’d launched a mini-smear campaign against him.
This editorial was long and boring, so we’ve cut most of it out. We start with the bit where he’s claiming transfer speculation bores him senseless. What he really means is that this year he’s not been able to rub his hands together at the extra money his made-up stories usually bring in the summer. It’s the most lucrative time of the year for someone who makes his money from making stuff up, but the lack of new insider sign-ups and reduced hits compared to previous years have really upset him. Despite what he tries to claim.
From an editor’s point of view this current period is just about transfer speculation and although it excites many of our readers, it bores me senseless. I prefer it when the window is shut so that we concentrate on our next opponents and match-day coverage etc.
With my boy Cisse on his way to Marseille I need to find myself a new cult hero. The more time that goes by the more I warm to Crouch, so much so that I’m not going to refer to him as Lurch ever again.
I’m not one of these fans that picks the best player in the team to be their favourite. I like a trier which is why I’ve always been a massive fan of Jamie Carragher. But next season I think it will be a toss up between Crouch and Bellamy for me.
When we first signed Crouch I was one of those fans who said he didn’t justify his price tag, I’m still not sure that he does but he’s certainly impressed me more than I ever thought. I also think I was on the rebound with us losing Michael Owen for not much more.
As for Bellamy, well I like people with a bit of character. I like controversial figures, especially in the game. If he’s given some Welsh minx a slap in a club so what.. I wasn’t there so I don’t know what happened and I don’t know if anything she says is true.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want him to bring any trouble to the club but on the pitch I want him to be booed and slaughtered because when people knock you in life, it makes you realise that you’re doing something right and it gives you more encouragement to succeed.
Only the best get booed…
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As ever Fatty seems unable to write anything without thinking of this blog as he likes it. Hence his line about it being OK to slap a girl in a club. He’s almost saying he’s got an open mind and that Bellamy should be considered innocent until proven guilty, but in reality he’s actually saying it’s fine for any guy to slap any girl. Something he may well do himself from time to time, given his nature of being a bully and his constant references to violence.
His line “Only the best get booed…” is laughable. Sounds like something said to defend Eric Cantona. Which is perhaps why he said it, followed by his plea for someone not on a wind-up mission to register for his failing forums.
Maybe the line was a veiled reference to himself – it’s a slight variation on his usual lines fed to him by mummy about jealousy. Especially this bit – “when people knock you in life, it makes you realise that you’re doing something right and it gives you more encouragement to succeed”. You keep believing that Duncan, it’s certainly going to help us anyway.
As for “Only the best get booed,” we prefer, “Only the bullshittiest get blogged.” No idea if bullshittiest is a word, but it suits Del / Dunk down to the ground.