Koptalk promise to drop the "lurch" tag for Crouch

We didn’t spot the latest Koptalk ‘editorial’ yesterday straight away. Well we did but we didn’t read it, some ancient instinctive reflex seemed to distract us from it. Then someone emailed us about it and we endured it after all.

Duncan is now redirecting the bullshit in a different direction in the great Koptalk u-bend. He’s done a u-turn. After threatening to use a tape he claimed to have in order to end the Liverpool career of Peter Crouch, the queen of bullshit now says he loves the lad.

He’s by no means the only person to change his view on Crouch – half the English nation did when he repeated his robot dance on the pitch for England. It’s just that most people didn’t go from one extreme to the other. From hating Crouch to loving him? Seems a little strange. As of course did his undying love for Djibril Cisse. He claims Crouch will be his new cult hero. He should try and work out what “cult hero” means the dope. As has been pointed out on here though (in the comments) – Duncan Oldham also has extreme views on other strikers. He said “Close the door on your way out” as he celebrated Robbie Fowler’s departure to Leeds after he’d launched a mini-smear campaign against him.

This editorial was long and boring, so we’ve cut most of it out. We start with the bit where he’s claiming transfer speculation bores him senseless. What he really means is that this year he’s not been able to rub his hands together at the extra money his made-up stories usually bring in the summer. It’s the most lucrative time of the year for someone who makes his money from making stuff up, but the lack of new insider sign-ups and reduced hits compared to previous years have really upset him. Despite what he tries to claim.

From an editor’s point of view this current period is just about transfer speculation and although it excites many of our readers, it bores me senseless. I prefer it when  the window is shut so that we concentrate on our next opponents and match-day coverage etc.

With my boy Cisse on his way to Marseille I need to find myself a new cult hero. The more time that goes by the more I warm to Crouch, so much so that I’m not going to refer to him as Lurch ever again.

I’m not one of these fans that picks the best player in the team to be their favourite. I like a trier which is why I’ve always been a massive fan of Jamie Carragher. But next season I think it will be a toss up between Crouch and Bellamy for me.

When we first signed Crouch I was one of those fans who said he didn’t justify his price tag, I’m still not sure that he does but he’s certainly impressed me more than I ever thought. I also think I was on the rebound with us losing Michael Owen for not much more.

As for Bellamy, well I like people with a bit of character. I like controversial figures, especially in the game. If he’s given some Welsh minx a slap in a club so what.. I wasn’t there so I don’t know what happened and I don’t know if anything she says is true.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want him to bring any trouble to the club but on the pitch I want him to be booed and slaughtered because when people knock you in life, it makes you realise that you’re doing something right and it gives you more encouragement to succeed.

Only the best get booed…

Agree or disagree? Tell me via ‘Ask The Editor’ (free registration required)

Dunk
Editor
http://www.koptalkblog.coN

As ever Fatty seems unable to write anything without thinking of this blog as he likes it. Hence his line about it being OK to slap a girl in a club. He’s almost saying he’s got an open mind and that Bellamy should be considered innocent until proven guilty, but in reality he’s actually saying it’s fine for any guy to slap any girl. Something he may well do himself from time to time, given his nature of being a bully and his constant references to violence.

His line “Only the best get booed…” is laughable. Sounds like something said to defend Eric Cantona. Which is perhaps why he said it, followed by his plea for someone not on a wind-up mission to register for his failing forums.

Maybe the line was a veiled reference to himself – it’s a slight variation on his usual lines fed to him by mummy about jealousy. Especially this bit – “when people knock you in life, it makes you realise that you’re doing something right and it gives you more encouragement to succeed”. You keep believing that Duncan, it’s certainly going to help us anyway.
As for “Only the best get booed,” we prefer, “Only the bullshittiest get blogged.” No idea if bullshittiest is a word, but it suits Del / Dunk down to the ground.

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8 Responses to “Koptalk promise to drop the "lurch" tag for Crouch”

  1. scully Says:

    Er, so when people boo Bellamy on account of his assault on a teenage girl, even though they are specifically booing him for that reason it still hasn’t nothing to do with that reason and everything to do with the fact that “he’s doing something right”? Did you actually go to school, Dunk? Were you ever taught the rudiments of logical thought, you thick, disgusting, misogynist prick?

    And when people boo you for very specific and extremely valid reasons (your lies, your attitude to women, your attitude to Robbie Fowler, your delight in doing Liverpool harm by revealing details of sensitive deals and even titling your non-existent book ‘Anfield Exposed’, your banning people for disagreeing with you, your attitude towards The Sun, your owning a Newcastle United season ticket, your running of Newcastle and Spurs sites, your being the only Liverpool fans site that charges its visitors to view your site, your telling your 16-year-old cousin/nephew/stepbrother it’s understandably why men rape girls…) it still has nothing to do with those reasons and is just down to jealousy? How can I, for example, be jealous when I don’t even own a rival site? I have several months to run on my unfortunately paid-for latest subscription to your site and yet I no longer wish to visit it. Does this not tell you something? Grow the fuck up.

  2. scully Says:

    Oh yes – there’s also the BNP sympathies and the homophobia. And the tendency to belittle people who object to your bigotted tendencies with such phrases as “do-gooder” and “political correctness gone mad”. But of course the reason I no longer visit this site that I’ve paid to visit is that I’m just jealous.

  3. Former Koptalker Says:

    what has he said about fowler? i have seen this mentioned a few times.

  4. scully Says:

    Go to the Comments page (https://koptalkinsider.wordpress.com/2006/06/19/insider-insider-comments) and look at Rupert’s second comment.

  5. Former Koptalker Says:

    cheers. what a twat.

  6. rupert Says:

    It’s good of him to give up calling Crouch “Lurch” now that it’s been revealed on here that it was Fatso who invented the term due to his familarity with greyhounds/lurches – especally those he owned and raced which were seized by the authorities and put up for adoption due to his neglect of them. (See the story earlier on here).

    Good of him to give up the “Lurch” mockery after twelve months of profiting from it – – probably the worst sustained attack on an LFC player in the club’s history apart from his attack on Robbie Fowler. But that’s what its all about, isn’t it Fatso, being a “fun” site – like the S** – if its entertainment and brings in the hits its ok.

    His conversion from mocker to lover of “Lurch” is similar to his conversion on Fowler – it was forced on him by the market place and the decent customers of KT.

    But we all know its not a true conversion. He wants to reserve the right to say “Lurch” was not worth the money and still use the term “Lurch” on KT radio, just as he still uses the radio to say that Robbie is no more than a “mascot”. You see he’s so stupid he thinks nobody listens to KT radio – or if they listen they can’t have the evidence of what he says because its not in print.

    But how serious is he? Does this mean he will ban Brendan Supabitch for contining to call Crouch “Lurch” ? (I notice Brendan has also been tucking his tail between his legs on that one lately).

    And what about his gabby mod, Rosco? Does he get a ban for his anti-“Lurch” campaign?

  7. rupert Says:

    He’s right about one thing – he does identify with “bad uns”. We’ve started to sketch on here some of the stuff he has done over the years and is still involved in. But we’ve not ot it all down, yet. There’s more to come.

    As for his attitude to women – we’ve seen how he used footy forums to advertise for a fit young guy to do kinky – i.e. sado-masochistic stuff – with his wife while he filmed it and then joined in. Then how he uses stories about his wife’s miscarriage to garner sympathy when his dirty tricks are being exposed. If you’ve listen to his radio show you’ll know how he talks about her – as some kind of submissive slave whose primary occupation is to make him sarnies and bring him pies.

    You’ve seen for yourself how he buttonholes his readers with a sleazy nod and a wink to tell them how he is going to use the profits he has made at KT to start hiring models – doing all the “interviewing” himself – nod, nod, wink wink, know-what-I-mean, know-what-I-mean!. We know he goes after (and according to him) gets girls on MySpace after posting a profile that he makes 250,000 pounds a year. I’ve reported his discussion on KT radio as how its understandable to rape young underage girls. Just last week he revealed his techniques for snaring women in bars – and in that little bit of “entertainment” he confirmed what we already knew about his attitude to women.

  8. rupert Says:

    Former Koptalker: I elaborated on that second comment further down the “Comments” column. I made two or three more about his anti-Robbie campaign.


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