We are family – but we don't trust any of you

Thanks to one of our growing band of Fat-Fighters who sent us this by email. This is what happens when Dunk's paying customers get caught in the crossfire of his battle to stop us. He's a bit crap with the firing though – despite his *cough* army past. 

Dunk's locked-out customers see something like this now when they go onto the Insider –

Hi family

Remember – Dunk refers to all of his site visitors, insider members or not, as "family". Glad he's not my brother then.

So what was in each of these posts? Well first of all, the posters listed under "Last post" all had their posts deleted. The familiar Oldham censorship routine?

This is what was behind one of the posts –

We are currently updating our database to ensure we have everyone's correct contact details. This is not for marketing or any of that nonsense, it is purely so that we have the right contact information and the correct renewal date for your subs if applicable. We never share your details with anyone.

Starting soon we will start locking out:

a) anyone who has not renewed their subs – we hate doing this, it makes us guilty in fact, but the truth is we have online and offline rent to pay and we are investing a small fortune into taking the site forward for your benefit.

b) people who do not have a membership expiry date in our database for one reason or another. Either because we have missed this off or because people haven't completed the profile form at stign-up which details your date of birth, contact details etc.

c) people who have a blank profile in our database.

It's not personal if you get locked out so please go easy on us.

If you get locked out please open a support ticket at http://www.koptalk.info – we will need your login name and/or display name. Please provide your full name and contact email addresses inclduing any previous ones you may have used when you joined.

If you believe your sub has expired, you can renew at:


If you do get locked out, providing you submit the required info we can get you back in straight away.

Thanks everyone.

Edited by Dunk (14/06/06 01:02 PM)

This is the usual kind of stuff from Dunk. "I feel guilty, but I am spending a fortune – just for you". My arse Oldham. Oops – shouldn't have offered that to you really should I? Details are not for marketing? I'm pretty sure they aren't for the reason you state either.

People have emailed him and tried opening support tickets – all to no avail. Dunk is ignoring the support tickets. What kind of service is that?

Next up comes this one from the Fat Control-freak –

First of all, please note that just because you can not access the site, this doesn't mean there's anything wrong. It's just much more easier for us to deal with renewals and information requests this way.

Your access has been placed on hold either because we can't find details of your renewal or because your membership profile is missing info or needs updating – this is so that we have your correct email address for example.

To obtain access again, you need to open a support ticket at http://www.koptalk.info or email support@koptalk.com You must include your username, email address etc The more info you provide the sooner we can get you back in.

Once we work out why you need to contact us, your access can be sorted within a few minutes.


Edited by Dunk (13/06/06 03:04 PM)

This really means – "We are having trouble with that Insider Insider blog and we will not be messed with. How dare they? We'll lock everyone out until we find the bastards."  Ever remember teachers making the whole class stay behind until the culprit owned up? Dunk brings that principle into the 21st century with cyber-detentions, but he keeps you out instead of in. Or so he thinks.

The next one was aimed at those who'd been enticed into the insider thanks to a special offer. Yes these members of "the family" have to prove they are by finding the email they were sent in the first place. "Don't start throwing your toys around" he tells them.

If you did and you are locked out, we require the confirmation email(s) that you received from us at the time of sign-up.

In the offer email you received from us it clearly says that you MUST retain said email for future use (checks). This helps us weed out people who try to con their way in.

If you do not have the email(s) then we can not help you. We asked you to keep it/them and stressed the importance of doing so. No receipt, no access – sorry.

If you do have the email(s), please forward them to steve@koptalk.com – please do not call us or open a support ticket.

No promos/competition prizes have been pulled so please don't start throwing your toys around. We simply need to make sure you are who you say you are and that you are rightly entitled to access.

Next up – honorary members, whatever they might be. You may be honorary, but you're not exempt from this witch hunt.

If you are a Honorary Member, please contact us so that we can ammend your details accordingly.

From time to time we award Honorary Memberships to members who have been very helpful in the community, either towards us, other individuals or everyone.

Honorary Members are exempt from paying their subs but the majority of them still contribute voluntary to help support the site.

Finally there's a chance to own up to Dunk that your sub had run out. Admit it, and he'll let you renew. If you have to then do so, but remember we're keeping you up-to-date with anything he has to announce, and there's LOADS of other forums out there. Something for everyone. We're free.

If you know you have been locked out due to the fact your sub has expired, you can renew by going to:


KopTalk is a fans website so naturally we rely on as much support as we can.

Your support is extremely valued and we class you as a member of our family, as our members can testify if they've ever needed our assistance or if they have suffered some kind of setback, maybe not even relating to LFC or KopTalk. We're always here for you!

If you would like to renew but need a little time to organise your sub contribution, please do not hesitate to contact me. We're not here to squeeze you dry, we just need to pay the bills!

Contact us and we'll get you back in within seconds!

See – it's that family thing again. The Addams family?


12 Responses to “We are family – but we don't trust any of you”

  1. rupert Says:

    Koptalk is a poor man’s mini-cult. It has its “Daddy” who “knows best”. His motive – as for every cult leader, is sex and money. His technique, as in every cult, is to control communications. As in every cult, he wants to censor what the cult members hear from “outside sources”. Yes, there is an “inside” and an “ouside” – “us” and “them” in every cult. There is usually a “noviceship” too, a rites-of-passage whereby members start off as novices or trialist, then become trustees and finally ultra-loyalists or “insiders”.

    Like most cult leaders Daddy uses the concept of “family” to try to reinforce this sense of “us” against “them”.

    Cults usually have an emotionally binding “relgious” type set of beliefs and practices, songs and rituals which the cult-leader has hijacked from a popualr religion and diverted for his own purposes. I guess the belief and devotion to LFC is what Daddy Duncan has hijacked. Most cult leaders produce a “bible” usually in mysterious circumstances. Daddy’s “Anfiled Exposed” is his bible and it is very mysterious – nobody has seen it after five years of writing.

    Cult leaders gradually personalise these sets of beliefs by controlling access to them, intervening at every opportunity to create an association between the belief-set and the leader, personalising the belief-set by brainwashing members to internalise his, the Daddy’s, personal motives often by rubbing their noses in the lavatorial details of his life and thereby breakinf down their inhibitions causing them to accept as normal the blantantly abnormal and disgusting. As a result of this indoctrination, cult members start acting as thought the object of their loyalty is the cult – Koptañk – not the religion – LFC.

    Cult members are taught to believe that their Daddy is a force for good in the world and by supporting him they are supporting those who are not yet enlightened. So here were have Daddy’s appeals for orphans, and sick children, and its typical of cults that money raised for good causes finished up in the pocket of the Daddy.

    We know that in some cults the Daddy tries to control or influence the sex life of the members providing partners, or in Koptalk’s case, porno an adult dating services. It sometimes goes as far as the leader picking and choosing which members he will have sex with for himself, and the leader is usually indiscriminate as between male and female. I guess making porno videos and creating three-some for yourself and wife falls into this category. Cults welcome children and young adults because they are easily influenced and controlled.

    Cults are usually characterised by an escalating paranoia with delesions of grandeur. The leader’s insatiable appetite usually causes him to overstretch. In this expansion he leaves himself open to destructive forces. The cult members always comfort themselves that they are a “chosen race” or “elite”. They begin to question this when they discover that membership is open to the common herd. What’s worse they begin to see that everything is relative – there is no absolute truth – the leader adopts other religions and rituals and songs as though they were just as good as theirs – Newcastle and Spurs, for example.

    Cult-busters – bloggers – get to work and point out that most families don’t require payment to the Daddy for membership. In most families the Daddy does not try to restrict communication between members.

    I said Koptalk was a mini-cult. That means that the Daddy has all the elements and tendencies of a cult leader – but he won’t make it. He’s too fat and ugly. Sorry Dunk. You’re not the Daddy. I know best.

  2. jj_dominic Says:

    great read rupert…

    insider insider I hink its time to unveil the UpTheToon and SpursArmy scandal to your readers.

    If fatty really is a real fan, would a real fan setup sites for rival clubs? I think not. This man is in it for the money and nothing more, he doesn’t care about his paying members, they are just vehicles for him to attain his riches. An explotation through lies and propaganda.

    For those reading that don’t know, last year Clunky setup a company called KABOODLE NETWORK (maybe he thought google, and came up with something that rhymes). Under this company he planned to setup websites for premiership clubs. With his already setup Koptalk, we went on to setup UptheToon, a Newcastle United fansite (probably is first love), and Spursarmy.com. He has probably setup plenty of domains and his intentions are the same, setup a free site. Get visitors to these sites with bogus newsnow news stories, build a community than unleash the infamous INSIDER subscriptions. He portrays himself on these sites as different people, and will say he setup these sites for friends of his. But if you look closely the writing styles on these sites are the same as the fat mans.

    Time now to out this man for what he is – a money grabbing scum bag.

  3. macca2 Says:

    checking it out now…fatty is just insane…

  4. rupert Says:

    Ever wonder why Clunky constantly stirs up speculation about Owen returning to LFC from the Toon? Well start with the assumption that sex or money are always behind his “enthusiams”.

    (At the Toon away game he came back from the ground to his van and told his servant, Steve, that he had just received first-hand information that Owen was returning, and he would bet on him being an LFC player next season, and he was going to write it up for the Gold Club there and then. Of course he never did write it up.)

    The reason he works up speculation about Owen time and time again is that it increase hits on both his LFC and Toon sites – and even has some spillover on his Spurs site. So he gets paid by both sets of fans for the same rumour. Easy money! Owen has probably paid for his new Merc.

  5. Insider Insider Says:

    His upthetoon.com site wasn’t working last time I looked – and his forums at http://www.spursarmy.com had a lot of posts by someone called “Koptalkinsider” last time I looked there.

    He still hasn’t dealt with the trackbacks on his site for Lauren – http://www.laurenforsyth.com – but I’m sure he’ll get shut of them once he sees them.

    His site at http://www.caboodlenetwork.com is well out of date now too.

    He’s obviously “concentrating on the book”.

  6. rupert Says:

    I just looked – the Spurs site is having a “makeover” and he promises it will be back soon.

    I wonder if that “makeover” and the “interruption” of his Toon site has anything to do with the suggestion made by another poster on here that Fatty paid a licence for the use of software only for Koptalk. Do you think he may have got a “cease and desist” order from the software owner until he pays for a multiple use licence?

  7. macca2 Says:

    yeah, i remember that. he was asking people in the chat room/koptalk radio if they wanted to have a bet about owen being a LFC player next season. typical fatty really. stirs it up as a koptalk exclusive to increase his hits and gloss the insider. the sad thing is there were people out there who fell into his trap and, as a result, signed up for the gold club. a friend of mine became a GC member and hes been regretting it since day one. silver lining is that i know whats in there now, and should fatty catch the editor out, ill be there to provide Insider Insider with backup info.

  8. KT Veteran Says:

    Its quite funny as when the Spurs site loads, the buttons are red for abit until the style sheet renders them blue.

    I see the voice of reason JD has spoken on that thread.


  9. kopwank Says:

    ‘a) anyone who has not renewed their subs – we hate doing this, it makes us guilty in fact, but the truth is we have online and offline rent to pay and we are investing a small fortune into taking the site forward for your benefit.’

    The reason the renewal of subs makes them ‘guilty’ is because they are infact conning punters out of money – wonder what trading standards would have to say about the misleading use of titles (I’m about to find out!)

  10. kopwank Says:

    re: jj_dominic

    ‘For those reading that don’t know, last year Clunky setup a company called KABOODLE NETWORK (maybe he thought google, and came up with something that rhymes). Under this company he planned to setup websites for premiership clubs. With his already setup Koptalk, we went on to setup UptheToon, a Newcastle United fansite (probably is first love), and Spursarmy.com. He has probably setup plenty of domains and his intentions are the same, setup a free site. Get visitors to these sites with bogus newsnow news stories, build a community than unleash the infamous INSIDER subscriptions’

    I’ve been looking into this already, Duncan Oldham (if that is his real name) is not a director of any UK company nor is there an officially registered caboodle network.

    Maybe his history of selling illegal Sky TV cards and dodgy practices are starting to catch up with him…

  11. rupert Says:

    ” Duncan Oldham (if that is his real name) is not a director of any UK company..”

    Makes it easier to dodge tax returns, VAT payments and a host of other inconveniences.

    It also makes it dififcult for anyone to sue Koptalk sucessfully. . He can always claim it is judgement proof i.e. that it is broke and can’t pay any damages. There is probably no audited set of books – or any financial records – to prove otherwise or to produce during discovery proceedings. We all know how often he “loses” records of paid or unpaid membership and pre-paid orders for his “book”.

    Give his history of invention in order to deceive I would be surprised if that was his real name.

    I wonder if anyone can check “army” records to see if there was ever anyone of that name? Is there a register of peple who have been awared the black belt as he claims?

    Maybe changing his name and identity was behind his interest in Islam? About the same time he was cruising on footie sites to find a fit young guy to do it with him and his wife, he was also sending out a lot of posts asking for information about Islam – the clothing, the Koran etc.

  12. rupert Says:

    For those naive enough to think his interest in Islam may have been genuinely religious – forget about it. He has said many times – including on Wayne’s World – that he does not go in for religion of any kind. No, he wanted an Islam turban and gown and maybe a beard and a new name – for disguise. Who knows, maybe he wanted it to go dogging with Collymore.

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