Thanks to one of our growing band of Fat-Fighters who sent us this by email. This is what happens when Dunk's paying customers get caught in the crossfire of his battle to stop us. He's a bit crap with the firing though – despite his *cough* army past.
Dunk's locked-out customers see something like this now when they go onto the Insider –
Remember – Dunk refers to all of his site visitors, insider members or not, as "family". Glad he's not my brother then.
So what was in each of these posts? Well first of all, the posters listed under "Last post" all had their posts deleted. The familiar Oldham censorship routine?
This is what was behind one of the posts –
We are currently updating our database to ensure we have everyone's correct contact details. This is not for marketing or any of that nonsense, it is purely so that we have the right contact information and the correct renewal date for your subs if applicable. We never share your details with anyone.
Starting soon we will start locking out:
a) anyone who has not renewed their subs – we hate doing this, it makes us guilty in fact, but the truth is we have online and offline rent to pay and we are investing a small fortune into taking the site forward for your benefit.
b) people who do not have a membership expiry date in our database for one reason or another. Either because we have missed this off or because people haven't completed the profile form at stign-up which details your date of birth, contact details etc.
c) people who have a blank profile in our database.
It's not personal if you get locked out so please go easy on us.
If you get locked out please open a support ticket at http://www.koptalk.info – we will need your login name and/or display name. Please provide your full name and contact email addresses inclduing any previous ones you may have used when you joined.
If you believe your sub has expired, you can renew at:
If you do get locked out, providing you submit the required info we can get you back in straight away.
Edited by Dunk (14/06/06 01:02 PM)
This is the usual kind of stuff from Dunk. "I feel guilty, but I am spending a fortune – just for you". My arse Oldham. Oops – shouldn't have offered that to you really should I? Details are not for marketing? I'm pretty sure they aren't for the reason you state either.
People have emailed him and tried opening support tickets – all to no avail. Dunk is ignoring the support tickets. What kind of service is that?
Next up comes this one from the Fat Control-freak –
First of all, please note that just because you can not access the site, this doesn't mean there's anything wrong. It's just much more easier for us to deal with renewals and information requests this way.
Your access has been placed on hold either because we can't find details of your renewal or because your membership profile is missing info or needs updating – this is so that we have your correct email address for example.
To obtain access again, you need to open a support ticket at http://www.koptalk.info or email email@example.com You must include your username, email address etc The more info you provide the sooner we can get you back in.
Once we work out why you need to contact us, your access can be sorted within a few minutes.
Edited by Dunk (13/06/06 03:04 PM)
This really means – "We are having trouble with that Insider Insider blog and we will not be messed with. How dare they? We'll lock everyone out until we find the bastards." Ever remember teachers making the whole class stay behind until the culprit owned up? Dunk brings that principle into the 21st century with cyber-detentions, but he keeps you out instead of in. Or so he thinks.
The next one was aimed at those who'd been enticed into the insider thanks to a special offer. Yes these members of "the family" have to prove they are by finding the email they were sent in the first place. "Don't start throwing your toys around" he tells them.
If you did and you are locked out, we require the confirmation email(s) that you received from us at the time of sign-up.
In the offer email you received from us it clearly says that you MUST retain said email for future use (checks). This helps us weed out people who try to con their way in.
If you do not have the email(s) then we can not help you. We asked you to keep it/them and stressed the importance of doing so. No receipt, no access – sorry.
If you do have the email(s), please forward them to firstname.lastname@example.org – please do not call us or open a support ticket.
No promos/competition prizes have been pulled so please don't start throwing your toys around. We simply need to make sure you are who you say you are and that you are rightly entitled to access.
Next up – honorary members, whatever they might be. You may be honorary, but you're not exempt from this witch hunt.
If you are a Honorary Member, please contact us so that we can ammend your details accordingly.
From time to time we award Honorary Memberships to members who have been very helpful in the community, either towards us, other individuals or everyone.
Honorary Members are exempt from paying their subs but the majority of them still contribute voluntary to help support the site.
Finally there's a chance to own up to Dunk that your sub had run out. Admit it, and he'll let you renew. If you have to then do so, but remember we're keeping you up-to-date with anything he has to announce, and there's LOADS of other forums out there. Something for everyone. We're free.
If you know you have been locked out due to the fact your sub has expired, you can renew by going to:
KopTalk is a fans website so naturally we rely on as much support as we can.
Your support is extremely valued and we class you as a member of our family, as our members can testify if they've ever needed our assistance or if they have suffered some kind of setback, maybe not even relating to LFC or KopTalk. We're always here for you!
If you would like to renew but need a little time to organise your sub contribution, please do not hesitate to contact me. We're not here to squeeze you dry, we just need to pay the bills!
Contact us and we'll get you back in within seconds!
See – it's that family thing again. The Addams family?