No updates again as Dunk heads for the pub

Dunk hears about our blogThanks once again to the powers of email we've got another of fatty's updates on his blog. From what we've been told, that's the only update he's done – once again he's neglected his Insider subscribers.

This of course underlines how much of an amateur set-up he has. England play, he goes out and gets drunk, the site doesn't get updated. He offers no discount to his subcribers for this though of course.

We know he went to the pub, thanks that blog of his. However, he's claiming that he wasn't going to let Steve go with him this time. Maybe his local landlord saw our blog and barred Steve for being underage.

We doubt very much that Steve's stayed in. For starters Dunk would have nobody else to drink with. And he mentioned it first of all in an attempt to have us believe he's rich and generous and Steve had to stay in to earn his new car.

Another reason he mentioned Steve staying in (answering emails) was to try and calm some of his punters down, as we believe he's had a few complaints from people who aren't happy they've had their insider access revoked. Especially seeing as they've paid for it.

In his attempt to stop us he's alienating more and more of his subscribers, some of whom might still have believed his hype until he upset them this way.

Another funny bit in his blog – he claims to have once been in the army. The army! Don't make us laugh Dunk. They wouldn't even let you in the Brownies. Still, if you thought that the image of Fat Dunk looking like Benny Hill in an army uniform was funny, wait until you read his claims about his Judo skills.

Good old Jake
by Dunk (KopTalk Ed) on Thu 15 Jun 2006 12:32 PM BST
Well it's dead. I am officially bored out of my tree. Thank feck England are playing this afternoon. At least I can down tools shortly and head to the boozer.

The bad news is that Big Ears won't be going out. He has tons of KOPTALK emails to deal with and with me buying him a motor which he collects on Monday, if he doesn't earn his keep, he aint getting no car – simple! He's chuffed to bits about his car but what he doesn't know is that once he gets it and passes his test, he'll be driving all over the country on KOPTALK business. Just don't tell him!

17-years of age and a cosey little number pressing a few keys on a keyboard, travelling all over the place watching LFC at my expense and he gets a free house, a free car and all his bills paid for? Christ, at 17 I was in the bloody Army… no, not the Salvation Army, HM Royal Corps of Transport. Yes, I could run.. in fact I still can… you should see me when the Ice Cream van goes by.

Anyway, nothing much to report really. Everything's quiet on the LFC front. I'm still excited about the transfer possibilities. Although it's quiet, I remain convinced that Rafa's going to pull a big one out of the hat. And with Parry on the move this week, at least we know there's activity of some description.

Before signing off, take a look at this article about 12-year-old Jake Oliver who broke the nose of some bloke who tried to mug him. He was 15 stone and wearing a balaclava but Jake soon sorted him out. I was that chuffed for the lad that I cut the article out of today's Mirror newspaper and pinned it on the office wall.

Both my kids do Judo so I'm looking forward to showing them the importance of self defence. It took me years to get a black belt in Judo (1st Dan) but it was well worth it. Charlotte's been doing Judo since she was 5 and Rob started when he was 4.

Charlotte's 13 now and she's progressed really fast through the ranking system. She's even fought in Belgium along with Big Ears who's also handy at Judo but he gave it up a while back due to a lack of time. Admittledy she wasn't keen on it at first but I stressed to her the importance of looking after yourself especially when young. Some lad tried pushing her around at school last year and she soon took him out… that's my girl!

You don't have to be fighting fit to be involved in martial arts. Christ, take one look at me and you'll soon work that out. It's about movement and timing as young Jake has proven.

If you've got kids, I'd really urge you to get them registered at a local club. My kids have a great laugh. They also play games and have BBQ's throughout the year and if there's an excuse to attend a BBQ, you just know I'm gonna be there!

Big Ears says I'm more suited to sumo wrestling these days…. well I guess I do look like a sumo wrestler when I've got me thong on… oh my god, what a terrible, terrible thought


5 Responses to “No updates again as Dunk heads for the pub”

  1. rupert Says:

    Steve is legally entitled to be paid at least the minimum wage. Fattie can’t get around the minimum wage law by barter – paying in booze, porno mags, access to computers and a car. Besides Fattie seems to need’s Steve’s company – at least as a drinking pal – so these things are no more than the gifts that would flow from a rich older man desirous of the company of poor, subservient younger. So what’s Fattie up to?

    The most obvious advantage for Fattie in not paying a wage is that he does not have to pay the employer’s contribution to insurance. Secondly, he also avoids returns to the Internal Revenue – best to keep as far away as them as possible – know what I mean? Thirdly, by not employing Steve by the hour he can then call on him 24 x 7 – as a virtual servant – and we have seen evidence from his blogs and editorials that he does this. Fourth, by paying him in kind the more Stevie becomes dependent on Fattie for a roof, a bed and food and the more control Fattie has over him.

    We know from Fattie that Steve is or has been estranged from his parents – we don’t know why. Are they a bit concerned or suspiscious about the the strange life (for a 16 year old) he has been living? Have they heard about Fattie’s personal ads and his ambitions in the porno department? Whatever the reason – and Fattie refuses to reveal to us – it happens that this estrangement from his parents makes Steve more dependent on Fattie.

    There is another possibility, too. If Stevie is not on the payroll perhaps he is technically entitled to claim dole. Perhaps he is entitled to claim housing benefits, too. That would be useful for Fattie wouldn’t it – having the state pay his employee a wage and possibly rent. But I’m sure he would never be so incautious as to get involved in anytning like that.

    Followign criticism on here, Fattie is going to pains in his blog to show what a benevolent employer he is even though he does not pay his employee. He is helping Steve get a driving licence and “pick out” a car. Isn’t all this a bit odd? Why not just pay the guy the wage he is entilted to by law and let him run his own life?

    I doubt that “picking out” a car means that he is buying him one. More likely that he is grooming Steve to be the delivery boy of all those shirts and illegal CD’s and phantom books Fattie sells. If Stevie should ever be tempted to kick over the traces he’ll learn pretty quickly it’s not his car, but Fattie’s.

    Its nice of Fattie to offer Stevie a roof and a bed, though, in the Koptalk office. And besides, its a hell of a lot cheaper than paying a night watchmen to take calls all day and night and guard all those valuable computers and large, flat-screened TVs.

  2. Al Says:

    I think he’s grooming him for something entirely different, especially as he always uses the term ‘bless him’ whenever he mentions him.

    Don’t all nonces have rent boys working for them for free? I remember seeing some documentary about a fat gangster in Manchester who had a bunch of boys following him around. He didn’t pay them – just housed and fed them. Then at the end we found out he was as bent as a nine bob note.

    Now we know what Steve’s shorthand is for, lol.

  3. rupert Says:

    I see what you mean. I’ve just been over to where they have a copy of the editorial he wrote when Steve was “AWOL”. It defintely reads as though the Fat Walrus is pining for his j/o partner.

  4. rupert Says:

    Ever see this clip of Dunkin Donuts reading the Koptalk-Insider ?

  5. macca2 Says:

    Hahahahahaha. LOL.

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