MUG Shots

 

by Rupert Insider

A picture is worth a thousand words. That’s why Duncan Oldham hid from the camera for years. Even when he appeared he wore a hat, dark glasses, a wig or a woman’s dress.

But In March and April 2007 he dropped his guard. Desperate to force his bizarre trip to Canada and the USA down the throats of members of KopTalk, he forgot that videos can be freeze-framed and still shots taken from them.

He wanted the videos to sell his site. But the evidence is they have turned off some who were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

How he’d like you to see him

How he really is

How he would like to be

How his Ma sees him: his current avatar with hand hiding chin

Laughing/crying/trying to move his bowels.

In Love

Greeting a new £30 member from Asia

Listening to his Insider voices

Raffling his Ma in the street for charity

With hitman – “£500 for the bloggers to push up daisies”.

Spreading his arse on the only two cushions in Canada

At the USA Bone Idol audition with his backing vocalist

Caught on cam denying he has the same DNA as a hippo.

Aunty Dunk feeling a bit frisky.

Designated penalty-taker scores for Newcastle UFC

Clare auctions her knickers to military cadets

Clare again, dogging in the snow, meets a fit young lad.

Dunk Driver in Scarborough (just outside Wallsend)

Missing Warren terribly

Peasant boy with biggest Guppy fish he’s ever caught

In character for sick benefits – “depression-anxiety disability”.

D.I.S Fraudster of the Decade – Wallsend and Scarborough branches

Does this make me look (a) fat or (b) stupid?

KT Moderators on 24 x 7 watch for bloggers.

100% pure blood English and No. 1 purveyor of porn to the Royal Family

Clare drinking blood of her latest victim

” I could’ve been a contender, could’ve been a somebody!!

Favourite role-models

Favourite members of the Koptalk Kult

Obsessive masturbatory fantasy

Del Boy with suits, big cheese & Insiders -Wallet, Horse & Anfield Mole

“Katie wants to live abroad with me, don’t you Katie?”

Studying to be a messiah

After 17 Woodpecker Ciders

The Morning After the Night Before

Hello Sailor, its Clare again, remember me?

The S*N always shines at Koptalk – 24 x 7

* This is the first draft of the sticky MUG Shots found in the tool bar at the top of the page. Better ideas welcome!