What to expect if you sign up

In case you’ve been considering signing up to koptalk, I’d like to show you what you can expect there. This is the entire Match thread from what was probably Liverpools best performance of the season, the 4-1 win against Chelsea. My comments in BOLD.

CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA
KopTalk Team
www.koptalk.coN
KopTalk VIP

Registered: August 05, 2006
Posts: 29055

Reina, Carragher, Agger, Skrtel, Johnson, Henderson, Maxi, Downing, Shelvey, Suarez, Carroll.

Doni, Coates, Kelly, Spearing, Sterling, Bellamy, Kuyt
_________________________

#1002875 – May 08, 2012 19:28 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: KopTalk Team]
Replicant
KopTalk VIP

Registered: June 01, 2011
Posts: 3989
Loc: Ilford, Essex

No Gerrard. Last home game of the season too.

Give Sterling a whole half!!
_________________________

#1002877 – May 08, 2012 19:29 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Replicant]
Si the Red
KopTalk VIP

Registered: March 22, 2010
Posts: 101 Guys, just come in. Seen team above. Wtf is stevie gerrard?

#1002887 – May 08, 2012 19:45 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Si the Red]
simon100
KopTalk VIP

Registered: July 09, 2005
Posts: 2501
Loc: Sussex

Back injury.

#1002894 – May 08, 2012 19:49 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: simon100]
Pob
KopTalk VIP

Registered: August 03, 2007
Posts: 1861

Another [oops] team, players should have been dropped for that performance.

Hopefully it’s carraghers last ever game and he goes on a high.
_________________________

#1002895 – May 08, 2012 19:50 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Pob]
Pob
KopTalk VIP

Registered: August 03, 2007
Posts: 1861

I’m so annoyed that we never give youngsters s proper chance. Looking forward to seeing shelvey.
_________________________

#1002896 – May 08, 2012 19:50 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Pob]
YNWAinscotland
KopTalk VIP

Registered: August 26, 2007
Posts: 1959
Loc: Channel Islands

Carra. Jesus Christ. PLAY COATES!!!!!!!

#1002897 – May 08, 2012 19:50 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Pob]
Fandango
KopTalk VIP

Registered: July 31, 2007
Posts: 709

Does anyone have a confidence in that midfield? Hendo and Shelvey in the centre and Maxi and Downing on the wings. Can’t see us winning this one.

#1002900 – May 08, 2012 19:51 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: KopTalk Team]
Ej
KopTalk VIP

Registered: January 08, 1998
Posts: 5200
Loc: L4 0TH

Enrique injured?

#1002901 – May 08, 2012 19:52 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: YNWAinscotland]
Paul Jackson
KopTalk VIP

Registered: August 12, 2007
Posts: 3100
Loc: Northern Ireland

Originally Posted By: YNWAinscotland
Carra. Jesus Christ. PLAY COATES!!!!!!!

Carra’s final home game maybe so I can understand – our season is done so this result matters not one bit.

#1002903 – May 08, 2012 19:53 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Fandango]
Paul Jackson
KopTalk VIP

Registered: August 12, 2007
Posts: 3100
Loc: Northern Ireland

Originally Posted By: Fandango
Does anyone have a confidence in that midfield? Hendo and Shelvey in the centre and Maxi and Downing on the wings. Can’t see us winning this one.

If we were up against this we would be laughing our tits off.

#1002904 – May 08, 2012 19:58 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Paul Jackson]
boliviared
KopTalk VIP

Registered: June 13, 2011
Posts: 1179
Loc: Bolivia

Originally Posted By: Paul Jackson

Originally Posted By: YNWAinscotland
Carra. Jesus Christ. PLAY COATES!!!!!!!

Carra’s final home game maybe so I can understand – our season is done so this result matters not one bit.

the only thing i can think of apart from pride, is that if we beat them it is more damage to their chances of CL spot and they can only get it by winning the final , which I dont think they will do. Which will of course effect them money wise and their ability to attract players which is better for us.

#1002905 – May 08, 2012 20:00 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: boliviared]
Rick_alessi
KopTalk VIP

Registered: August 01, 2002
Posts: 5443 Maybe a silly question, but what is seeing is believing about?

13 POSTS. KICK OFF

#1002907 – May 08, 2012 20:01 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Rick_alessi]
Paul Jackson
KopTalk VIP

Registered: August 12, 2007
Posts: 3100
Loc: Northern Ireland

Originally Posted By: Rick_alessi
Maybe a silly question, but what is seeing is believing about?

A home win :flmao:

#1002908 – May 08, 2012 20:02 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: boliviared]
Paul Jackson
KopTalk VIP

Registered: August 12, 2007
Posts: 3100
Loc: Northern Ireland

Originally Posted By: boliviared

the only thing i can think of apart from pride, is that if we beat them it is more damage to their chances of CL spot and they can only get it by winning the final , which I dont think they will do. Which will of course effect them money wise and their ability to attract players which is better for us.

To be honest mate the Chavs can offer the wages to get players even without CL.

#1002912 – May 08, 2012 20:08 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Paul Jackson]
AlanHard
KopTalk VIP

Registered: March 02, 2004
Posts: 1279
Loc: UK

Megs!!

That’s Terry embarrassed by both our forwards. Typical of Suarez to not finish it tough!

#1002915 – May 08, 2012 20:16 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Paul Jackson]
Rick_alessi
KopTalk VIP

Registered: August 01, 2002
Posts: 5443

Originally Posted By: Paul Jackson

Originally Posted By: Rick_alessi
Maybe a silly question, but what is seeing is believing about?

A home win :flmao:

:flmao:

#1002916 – May 08, 2012 20:16 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: AlanHard]
Ej
KopTalk VIP

Registered: January 08, 1998
Posts: 5200
Loc: L4 0TH
Anyone know what the seeing is believing logo is about?

#1002917 – May 08, 2012 20:17 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Rick_alessi]
Ej
KopTalk VIP

Registered: January 08, 1998
Posts: 5200
Loc: L4 0TH

Originally Posted By: Rick_alessi

Originally Posted By: Paul Jackson

Originally Posted By: Rick_alessi
Maybe a silly question, but what is seeing is believing about?

A home win :flmao

:flmao:

:biggrin:

#1002918 – May 08, 2012 20:18 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Ej]
Gatsbyesque
KopTalk VIP

Registered: June 13, 2011
Posts: 2157
Loc: Chicago, USA

Shambolic counter attack. Everyone looked clueless and Carroll was nowhere to be found
_________________________

#1002919 – May 08, 2012 20:20 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Gatsbyesque]
AlanHard
KopTalk VIP

Registered: March 02, 2004
Posts: 1279
Loc: UK

Lol. Megs again on Terry. I love to see Terry red faced. What a [oops]!!

#1002920 – May 08, 2012 20:21 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: AlanHard]
AlanHard
KopTalk VIP

Registered: March 02, 2004
Posts: 1279
Loc: UK

Hat trick of megs!! Brilliant.

#1002922 – May 08, 2012 20:28 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: AlanHard]
keeper
Glengormley Red
KopTalk VIP

Registered: June 02, 2004
Posts: 462

Carroll is torturing Terry

#1002924 – May 08, 2012 20:29 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: AlanHard]
Watdog
KopTalk VIP

Registered: June 23, 2010
Posts: 111
Loc: down under

Seeing is believing is a charity for the blind.! Although I am not sure I believe what I am seeing.

Edited by Watdog (May 08, 2012 20:30)

#1002925 – May 08, 2012 20:29 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Gatsbyesque]
Gatsbyesque
KopTalk VIP

Registered: June 13, 2011
Posts: 2157
Loc: Chicago, USA

GET IN

WHAT? WAS THERE A GOAL? ACTUALLY IT’S 3-0 BY NOW, BUT YOU MAY HAVE MISSED IT.

11 MINUTES LATER:

#1002927 – May 08, 2012 20:40 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Fandango]
Mars0634
KopTalk VIP

Registered: October 03, 2006
Posts: 8990
Loc: Born Liverpool – Work Jersey

Originally Posted By: Fandango
Does anyone have a confidence in that midfield? Hendo and Shelvey in the centre and Maxi and Downing on the wings. Can’t see us winning this one.

_________________________

#1002928 – May 08, 2012 20:44 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Mars0634]
AlanHard
KopTalk VIP

Registered: March 02, 2004
Posts: 1279
Loc: UK

Granted they’ve hit the woodwork twice, and Mata isnt playing, and neither is Drogba, but WHERE has this performance come from.

Carroll making a massive difference.

#1002929 – May 08, 2012 20:44 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Mars0634]
razor
KopTalk VIP

Registered: August 10, 2007
Posts: 1728
Loc: Behind you with a Banjo!

Originally Posted By: Mars0634

Originally Posted By: Fandango
Does anyone have a confidence in that midfield? Hendo and Shelvey in the centre and Maxi and Downing on the wings. Can’t see us winning this one.

Spearing is not there, and it shows.
_________________________

HALF TIME. 28 POSTS. NO MENTION OF THE PENALTY.

#1002932 – May 08, 2012 20:47 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Pob]
sjglfc
KopTalk VIP

Registered: January 03, 2008
Posts: 4010
Loc: newbury park

Originally Posted By: Pob
Another [oops] team, players should have been dropped for that performance.

Hopefully it’s carraghers last ever game and he goes on a high.

How do you feel now
_________________________

#1002933 – May 08, 2012 20:50 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: sjglfc]
YNWAinscotland
KopTalk VIP

Registered: August 26, 2007
Posts: 1959
Loc: Channel Islands

Who is the big lad playing up front for us? Another awesome 45 minutes from Andy Carroll. Absolutely battering them. Get in there!

#1002934 – May 08, 2012 20:50 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: sjglfc]
Replicant
KopTalk VIP

Registered: June 01, 2011
Posts: 3989
Loc: Ilford, Essex

Carroll is class.
Suarez is class.
Henderson is doing ok in the middle.

Downing…hahahaha. Nah, he’s been playing well but he should have scored the pen.
_________________________

#1002935 – May 08, 2012 20:51 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Replicant]
Replicant
KopTalk VIP

Registered: June 01, 2011
Posts: 3989
Loc: Ilford, Essex

Am I the only one who is angered that we are playing this good? Because it’s too late and there’s no point.
_________________________

#1002936 – May 08, 2012 20:51 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Watdog]
boliviared
KopTalk VIP

Registered: June 13, 2011
Posts: 1179
Loc: Bolivia

Originally Posted By: Watdog
Seeing is believing is a charity for the blind.! Although I am not sure I believe what I am seeing.

ahh, i thought it was a message to the FA linesman

#1002937 – May 08, 2012 20:52 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Replicant]
JPMalta
KopTalk VIP

Registered: August 12, 2007
Posts: 416

Where did this performance come from?

Shame it didn’t come on Saturday!

Though granted, Chelsea haven’t really turned up, and they still managed to hit the post twice..

#1002939 – May 08, 2012 20:53 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Replicant]
Ej
KopTalk VIP

Registered: January 08, 1998
Posts: 5200
Loc: L4 0TH
Downing hit the woodwork twice but to be fair he has shown some good play this half.

Shelvey has done well so far too IMO.

#1002940 – May 08, 2012 20:53 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: boliviared]
Shanklys
KopTalk VIP

Registered: February 07, 2004
Posts: 2606 Let’s not get carried away , this is a Chelsea reserve team with those playing trying hard not to get injured ahead of the CL final.
_________________________

#1002941 – May 08, 2012 20:53 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Mars0634]
simon100
KopTalk VIP

Registered: July 09, 2005
Posts: 2501
Loc: Sussex

Originally Posted By: Mars0634

Originally Posted By: Fandango
Does anyone have a confidence in that midfield? Hendo and Shelvey in the centre and Maxi and Downing on the wings. Can’t see us winning this one.

:flmao: :flmao: :flmao:
Love it, well played by the boys, just a pitty we only do it in the league against the big boys. If KK gets the stick for every loss….. we have to give him praise if we win.

Would love a few more and a cameo from sterling.

#1002942 – May 08, 2012 20:53 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Replicant]
Ej
KopTalk VIP

Registered: January 08, 1998
Posts: 5200
Loc: L4 0TH

Originally Posted By: Replicant
Am I the only one who is angered that we are playing this good? Because it’s too late and there’s no point.

It’s never too late to kick start the season….

#1002943 – May 08, 2012 20:53 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: YNWAinscotland]
Mars0634
KopTalk VIP

Registered: October 03, 2006
Posts: 8990
Loc: Born Liverpool – Work Jersey

Originally Posted By: YNWAinscotland
Who is the big lad playing up front for us? Another awesome 45 minutes from Andy Carroll. Absolutely battering them. Get in there!

Lol how opinions change hey
_________________________

#1002944 – May 08, 2012 20:54 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Shanklys]
boliviared
KopTalk VIP

Registered: June 13, 2011
Posts: 1179
Loc: Bolivia

Originally Posted By: Shanklys
Let’s not get carried away , this is a Chelsea reserve team with those playing trying hard not to get injured ahead of the CL final.

true, but we are certainly showing more urgency that the FA final – does my head in. Its like players have been told anyone that doesnt score is getting sold.

#1002945 – May 08, 2012 20:54 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: boliviared]
Replicant
KopTalk VIP

Registered: June 01, 2011
Posts: 3989
Loc: Ilford, Essex

Essien should be off by the way!! One of the worst tackles I’ve ever seen.
_________________________

#1002946 – May 08, 2012 20:55 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Replicant]
Mars0634
KopTalk VIP

Registered: October 03, 2006
Posts: 8990
Loc: Born Liverpool – Work Jersey

Originally Posted By: Replicant
Essien should be off by the way!! One of the worst tackles I’ve ever seen.

As should Ivanovich
_________________________

#1002947 – May 08, 2012 20:55 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Shanklys]
simon100
KopTalk VIP

Registered: July 09, 2005
Posts: 2501
Loc: Sussex

Originally Posted By: Shanklys
Let’s not get carried away , this is a Chelsea reserve team with those playing trying hard not to get injured ahead of the CL final.

Who’s missing, fat frank, cole and the goalie all the rest are the same, we’re missing Lucas and Adam. Chelsea have been poor but they are playing hard as I’m sure they want momentum to keep flowing.

#1002948 – May 08, 2012 20:55 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Shanklys]
Shanklys
KopTalk VIP

Registered: February 07, 2004
Posts: 2606

They are missing :
Cech, cole, Cahill , luiz, fat frank,mikel,mata,drogba, meireles,have I missed anyone?
_________________________

#1002949 – May 08, 2012 20:56 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: simon100]
Mars0634
KopTalk VIP

Registered: October 03, 2006
Posts: 8990
Loc: Born Liverpool – Work Jersey

Originally Posted By: simon100

Originally Posted By: Shanklys
Let’s not get carried away , this is a Chelsea reserve team with those playing trying hard not to get injured ahead of the CL final.

Who’s missing, fat frank, cole and the goalie all the rest are the same, we’re missing Lucas and Adam. Chelsea have been poor but they are playing hard as I’m sure they want momentum to keep flowing.

Were also missing Gerrard and Enrique
_________________________

#1002950 – May 08, 2012 20:57 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: boliviared]
boliviared
KopTalk VIP

Registered: June 13, 2011
Posts: 1179
Loc: Bolivia

there is neer a better time to bring on sterling than now – no pressure with us being 3 nil up, we are at anfield so friendly atmosphere and we are playing with confidence against a team he shoudl be able to shine against. Give him a full half I say

#1002952 – May 08, 2012 20:59 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Mars0634]
Donkey
KopTalk VIP

Registered: August 08, 2007
Posts: 906
Loc: Swamp

Originally Posted By: Mars0634

Originally Posted By: simon100

Originally Posted By: Shanklys
Let’s not get carried away , this is a Chelsea reserve team with those playing trying hard not to get injured ahead of the CL final.

Who’s missing, fat frank, cole and the goalie all the rest are the same, we’re missing Lucas and Adam. Chelsea have been poor but they are playing hard as I’m sure they want momentum to keep flowing.

Were also missing Gerrard and Enrique

and lucas

#1002953 – May 08, 2012 20:59 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Shanklys]
simon100
KopTalk VIP

Registered: July 09, 2005
Posts: 2501
Loc: Sussex

Originally Posted By: Shanklys
They are missing :
Cech, cole, Cahill , luiz, fat frank,mikel,mata,drogba, meireles,have I missed anyone?

not all regulars mate, shows how big a squad they have full of quality yet they are only just ahead of us………….no pleasing some on here, I suppose if we win we can thank Rafa :laugh:

SECOND HALF STARTS. 48 POSTS.

#1002957 – May 08, 2012 21:05 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Gatsbyesque]
Pob
KopTalk VIP

Registered: August 03, 2007
Posts: 1861

Il hold my hands up……best performance from the boys this season – a bit late but Kenny still gets my kudos as do the boys that let themselves down at the weekend.
_________________________

CHELSEA SCORE. NO MENTION.

#1002961 – May 08, 2012 21:07 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Mars0634]
Shanklys
KopTalk VIP

Registered: February 07, 2004
Posts: 2606

Originally Posted By: Mars0634

Originally Posted By: simon100

Originally Posted By: Shanklys
Let’s not get carried away , this is a Chelsea reserve team with those playing trying hard not to get injured ahead of the CL final.

Who’s missing, fat frank, cole and the goalie all the rest are the same, we’re missing Lucas and Adam. Chelsea have been poor but they are playing hard as I’m sure they want momentum to keep flowing.

Were also missing Gerrard and Enrique

Drogba , mata, cech, mikel & fat frank are 1st choice
_________________________

4-1 TO LIVERPOOL. NO MENTION.

16 MINUTES LATER:

#1002966 – May 08, 2012 21:23 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Shanklys]
liverpool_dave
KopTalk VIP

Registered: May 08, 2011
Posts: 1174
Loc: Newcastle, Australia

Ok. Who is this team in red??? And what have they done with our team??
_________________________

#1002967 – May 08, 2012 21:23 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Shanklys]
Mars0634
KopTalk VIP

Registered: October 03, 2006
Posts: 8990
Loc: Born Liverpool – Work Jersey

Originally Posted By: Shanklys

Drogba , mata, cech, mikel & fat frank are 1st choice

AND SO IS GERRARD, LUCAS, ENRIQUE, ADAM…….support your team and stop worrying what opposition players are missing mate
_________________________

#1002968 – May 08, 2012 21:27 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Mars0634]
Shanklys
KopTalk VIP

Registered: February 07, 2004
Posts: 2606

Sterling for downing now please
_________________________

FULL TIME. 53 POSTS. A STAGGERING 5 IN THE SECOND HALF!

28 MINUTES LATER:

#1002980 – May 08, 2012 21:55 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Shanklys]
boliviared
KopTalk VIP

Registered: June 13, 2011
Posts: 1179
Loc: Bolivia

great peformance, pity stirling didnt get more time and pty carroll didnt get a goal but otherwise well done , enjoyed that. Also pity it doesnt really matter anymore but lets hope we can come above bitters

#1002981 – May 08, 2012 22:04 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: boliviared]
Dudek4
KopTalk VIP

Registered: August 29, 2007
Posts: 1460
Loc: Newport, South Wales

Looks like Maxi is off then.
Like Litmanen before him a talented footballer ill used by the club.
_________________________

#1003025 – May 08, 2012 22:37 Re: CONFIRMED TEAM & MATCH THREAD V CHELSEA [Re: Dudek4]
pjwy
KopTalk VIP

Registered: July 27, 2007
Posts: 5594

They seemed to play completely without fear tonight..the confidence was there throughout.We do seem better against decent sides whereas if the battlers come to Anfield we can’t cope with it!

Anyway,much better and a nice high to end at Anfield.Good to see so many supporters staying behind as well.

Big players for me tonight were Shelvey and of course Andy Carroll.On the downside,Maxi looked like he was off and that’s a good player we could have done to keep.

That’s all. A site with supposedly thousands of members only managing 56 posts in the match thread including a few before and after the match. And that’s not the shortest match thread they’ve had.

Greedy conman shows his true face once again

Another koptalk member has found the membership fee to be a luxury he can’t afford anymore. This time it’s even a moderator who has done a lot of work on the site for free. So you would expect Dunk to give him a “free ride” for a while until his fortunes turn around and he can afford to pay again. After all, what’s the difference for Dunk if a member leaves or stays for free? Not a penny. God knows his dying site needs to keep those who actually bothers to post.

Here’s the post that appeared a couple of days ago:

Dunk the racist now also a sexist

Following from the sexist remarks by Andy Gray and Richard Keys about the female linesman that was officiating at the last LFC match, Dunk shows his true feelings about the issue. Needless to say, loads of koptalkers didn’t think much of it, and I believe quite a few are reconsidering their membership of the site. One of our top search hit phrases today is “how to cancel koptalk membership”. If you are one of those who are looking for that information, look at the paypal-post in the top menu or send me an email. So what did Dunk say?

KopTalk’s Greatest Hits

Duncan Oldham tells so many lies on KopTalk that even he can’t keep track of them all, which has provided us with countless moments of unintentional hilarity since this blog began.

But there is a downside. Over the past four years, documenting this Everest of bullshit has required more than 800 articles and almost 15,000 comments. There’s a danger that Oldhams’s most deranged, pathetic and disgusting lies get lost in the swill of his routine, everyday bullshit.

So we’ve been trawling through the archives to put together what you might call KopTalk’s Greatest Hits. These are the moments when Oldham reveals his true colours, when he proves beyond doubt that he’s an unhinged fantasist who will say and do anything if he feels it will earn him money or attract attention.

Above all, they show the contempt with which Oldham views Liverpool fans. You can imagine him laughing his head off as he types this garbage, confident that he can insult our intelligence and still dupe us out of our money.

Oldham’s career in bullshitting has been nothing if not prolific. With such an extensive back catalogue, including the much-loved golden oldies Chris Waddle Has Offered To Sell Me His Melwood House and Someone Made A Bid Of £1.3 Million For A 10% Stake In KopTalk – And I Turned Them Down, we didn’t think we could do justice to the great man with just a single collection. So we’ll be giving him the multi-volume treatment he so richly deserves. Think of this as Duncan Oldham: The Best Of – Volume One.

And for any current KopTalk members reading this – do you ever get the feeling you’ve been conned?

Should I Buy A Melwood Property Overlooking The Training Pitches, Or One Overlooking The Gates? (3 July 2006)

“A lot will depend on where we buy. I fancy a house overlooking the training pitches but I also know that having the gate monitored would be very handy. It’s all down to wonga. I was quoted £250k today for a house at the gates and £150k for a house that overlooks the pitches.

Do we want a CCTV on the gates fed into our office or a webcam showing the lads training?”

Chris Waddle Has Offered To Sell Me His Melwood House (4 July 2006)

“Former England ace Chris Waddle has offered to sell me his house. It’s located close to Melwood and is on the market at £300,000. We’re going to go and see it within the next week. “

Liverpool FC’s summer 2010 transfer targets revealed / How to set up your own KopTalk-style LFC scam site

We don’t really want to inspire a glut of KopTalk-esque scam sites – one is more than enough – but we are very interested in showing you how unsophisticated the KopTalk con is. Pretty much anybody reading this could pull it off, if you had no qualms about telling cynical lies to Liverpool fans in order to dupe us out of our money.

First, you have to trawl through the BBC Football Gossip pages and the offal’s Media Watch section to compile a list of the players rumoured to be joining and leaving Liverpool since the last summer transfer window closed. These are the potential moves that have been reported in the national press and on mainstream internet sites:

PLAYERS IN:

Goalkeepers:

Jan Oblak (Olimpija Ljubljana), Adam Federici (Reading), Dida (AC Milan), Wayne Hennessey (Wolves).

Defenders:

Ryan Shawcross (Stoke City), Matthew Upson (West Ham), Christian Landu Landu (Viking), Simon Kjaer (Palermo), Herita Ilunga (West Ham left-back), Nicolas Hernan Otamendi (Velez Sarsfield), Bruno Ecuele Manga (Angers SCO), Vasilis Torosidis (Olympiakos right-back), Richard Stearman (Wolves right-back/centre half), Nedum Onuoha (Manchester City), Taye Taiwo (Marseille left-back), Rod Fanni (Rennes fullback), Adil Rami (Lille), Steven Mouyokolo (Hull City), Danny Wilson (Rangers), Aleksandar Kolarov (Lazio left-back), Moussa Kouyate (Paris FC), Gary Cahill (Bolton), Christoph Metzelder (Real Madrid, since signed for Schalke), Nicolas Otamendi (Velez Sarsfield), Madjid Bougherra (Rangers), Micah Richards (Manchester City), Phil Jones (Blackburn), Jan Vertonghen (Ajax), Reto Ziegler (Sampdoria), Sylvinho (Manchester City).

Midfielders:

Angel Di Maria (Benfica winger), Antoine Griezmann (Real Sociedad winger), Keisuke Honda (then of Dutch club VVV-Venlo, signed for CSKA Moscow in January), Jano Ananidze (Spartak Moscow), Vladimir Koman (Sampdoria, currently on loan at Bari), Juan Mata (Valencia), Eljero Elia (Hamburg), Milos Krasic (CSKA Moscow), Adam Johnson (Middlesbrough, since moved to Man City), Rafael Van der Vaart (Real Madrid), Hernanes (Sao Paulo), Yaya Toure (Barcelona – part exchange in a deal for Mascherano), Lassana Diarra (Real Madrid), Sebastian Giovinco (Juventus), Mahamadou Diarra (Real Madrid), Patrick Vieira (Inter, who later moved to Man City), Victor Moses (Crystal Palace, ended up going to Wigan in January), Arda Turan (Galatasaray), Scott Parker (West Ham), Nicolas Lodeiro (Nacional, signed for Ajax in January), James Milner (Aston Villa), Jeremy Menez (Roma), Sergio Canales (Racing Santander attacking midfielder, announced in February that he will sign for Real Madrid in July), Tom Cairney (Hull), Stephen Ireland (Man City), Mark Davies (Bolton), Steven Pienaar (Everton), Ibrahim Afellay (PSV), Javi Martinez (Athletic Bilbao), Joe Cole (Chelsea), Juan Manuel Vargas (Fiorentina winger), Eden Hazard (Lille), Georginio Wijnaldum (Feyenoord), Lee Chung-Yong (Bolton), David Silva (Valencia), Guti (Real Madrid), Michael Johnson (Manchester City), Royston Drenthe (Real Madrid), Joe Cole (Chelsea), Ever Banega (Valencia), Mesut Ozil (Werder Bremen), Caner Erkin (CSKA Moscow), Jesus Navas (Sevilla), David Bentley (Tottenham), Felipe Melo (Juventus), Valon Behrami (West Ham), James Milner (Aston Villa).

Strikers:

David Villa (Valencia), Emile Heskey (Aston Villa), Nilton (Vasco da Gama), Dieumerci MBokani (Standard Liege), Carlton Cole (West Ham), Roman Pavlyuchenko (Spurs), Aaron Hunt (Werder Bremen), Eduardo (Arsenal), Connor Wickham (Ipswich), Bojan Krkic (Barcelona – part exchange in a deal for Mascherano), Ruud van Nistelrooy (Real Madrid, since signed for Hamburg), Keirrison (then at Benfica, on loan from Barcelona, since signed 18-month loan deal with Fiorentina), Cedric Mongongu (Monaco), James Beattie (Stoke City), Kenwyne Jones (Sunderland), Roque Santa Cruz (Man City), Erik Huseklepp (SK Brann), Goran Pandev (Lazio, moved to Inter in January), Frederic Piquionne (Portsmouth, on loan from Lyon), Luis Suarez (Ajax), Louis Saha (signed a two-year extension to his deal at Everton in February), Nikola Zigic (Valencia),  Klaas-Jan Huntelaar (AC Milan), Milan Jovanovic (Standard Liege, announced he would join us but still tbc), Alexander Jacobsen (14-year-old Danish forward), Kevin Kuranyi (Schalke), John Cofie (Manchester United), Hugo Rodallega (Wigan), Manuel Gavilan (Real Betis), Raul (Real Madrid), Mario Balotelli (Inter), Diego Forlan (Atletico Madrid), Carlos Tevez (Manchester City), Karim Benzema (Real Madrid), Kristoffer Peterson (Savedalens IF), Haris Vuckic (Newcastle United), Alexis Sanchez (Udinese), Mamadou Niang (Marseille), Vincenzo Iaquinta (Juventus), Emmanuel Adebayor (Man City), Giampaolo Pazzini (Sampdoria), Giuseppe Rossi (Villareal), Adriano (Flamengo), Edin Dzeko (Wolfsburg), Diego Tardelli (Atletico Mineiro).

PLAYERS OUT:

Steven Gerrard (Real Madrid, Barcelona, AC Milan and Inter Milan), Fernando Torres (Man City, Chelsea, Barcelona and Juventus), Javier Mascherano (Barcelona, Juventus, Man City, Chelsea and Inter Milan), Dirk Kuyt (Juventus), Yossi Benayoun (Man City, Lokomotiv Moscow, Dinamo Moscow, Roma, Spurs, Aston Villa, Sevilla and Chelsea), Fabio Aurelio (to Olympiakos and AC Milan), Ryan Babel (half the clubs in Europe), Damien Plessis (Lazio Genoa and AEK Athens), Martin Skrtel (Juventus), Albert Riera, Alberto Aquilani (Fiorentina, Juventus), Diego Cavalieri (Benfica), Dani Pacheco (Celtic, loan), Krisztian Nemeth (to remain on loan with AEK Athens), Nabil El Zhar (AEK Athens, loan), Chris Mavinga (AEK Athens, loan), Thomas Ince (Chelsea), Jay Spearing (Leicester).

Next you need to invent some ludicrously-named aliases. We’ve gone for Pilkington, Wallet and The Informer. Depending on how much cider you’ve drunk, you now have to either strongly imply or boldly state that these aliases are in fact high-profile figures associated with Liverpool FC. We’ve decided that Pilkington is Christian Purslow, The Informer is Tony Barrett and Wallet may or may not be Philip Nash.

We’ve no idea why these people would be passing on classified information to members of a football forum that doesn’t even feature in Alexa’s list of the top 40 LFC sites. It doesn’t make any sense at all, but we aren’t going to let that stop us.

The third step is to create your own “insider” phrasebook. Here are a few tips to get you up and running:

Koptalk Team new members

Dunce posted this little beauty today in the chat room, not the main LFC section

I was given some new helpers on April 1st due to some changes at KopTalk Towers. KopTalk has grown considerably recently and this has enabled some help to be drafted in. Paid help too which is a first! It has been so difficult for me to oversee everything and I have struggled at times. Hopefully I can now spend more time on the site and allow others to deal with all the support stuff. Its a fact that his mother and her lover Ian have been on the payroll for years. koptalk has always been a family business from day one.

While KopTalk has to operate as a business, I always ensured that the site was run like the hobby it started out as. The only aim is to tick over and pay the bills until of course you all get tired of it and tell me to **** off.

why does koptalk have to be a business ? the only other site that is run as a business is the official LFC site. Other sites all run as a hobby and do just fine and reflect the real LFC community where free speech, open communication and real meet ups happen on a weekly basis

I genuinely do what I do because of my love for Liverpool FC, this is what I do every day, sometimes for as many as 18 hours and I’ve done it since the mid-90′s. I’d be lost without it and without you!

He has no other skills in life other than living off the backs of fellow reds.nothing you do is genuine dunce unless it lines your pockets. your motivation is money, always has and always will be.

I don’t need to be on KopTalk now. I can walk at anytime and leave it in the fine hands of others. I can quite willingly hang up the keyboard but while you continue to support the site and especially me, I will be here to try and keep you updated.
The old cry of you can hang it up anytime eh, who will pay for the two mortgages or the fancy Ipods or the trips back and forth for your family. Who will pay for Tracy Anne, your 3rd fiancee in two years flights from London ? Be honest dunce, as long as your squeezing 30 quid out of the last guy, you aint going anywhere

I also want to hang around to annoy the **** out of those on the internet that can’t stand me. Thanks to their promotional efforts; albeit negative, the site is doing better than it ever has as people are so nosey, so to them I say “thanks!”

sorry to hear you want to hang around but let me reassure you that we will be there at every turn to get the word out about you. There are Liverpool fans everywhere that cant stand you dunce. I do not know of one other forum that has a positive thing to say about you, not one. You have sunk so far in the LFC community that you cant even latch onto one credible blogger on twitter, such is the disdain Liverpool fans worldwide have for you.

I prefer to be open with you as as I know hence this update.
Honest ? You dont have enough credability to use words like honest. You sacrificed greed for this thing called Liverpool football club that we all do and your greed has isolated you. Its cost you mates, a wife and a family. Your step brother steve running off with herself. You want to be honest ? open up the free speech on your site, give members access to the pm functions. Let them post links to other sites and stop selling lies for memberships.

Make no mistake about it blog readers, Koptalk is in trouble. Yeah yeah he bangs on about new members when in reality those numbers are far and few in between. Its the people not renewing are his problem, hence the reaching out. current members have questioned him like we have never seen before and have provoked the actions of locking or deleting threads in such a heavy manner that even the stalwarts are raising eyebrows.

Keep up the good work everyone and please join our group http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=282059011184

Why has KopTalk failed to report a single big LFC story this year before it appeared in the national press?

It’s been a comedy masterclass on KopTalk over the past week, as Dunk takes up residence on fantasy island in preparation for the summer transfer window.

Oldham has already told so many lies this month that it would be impossible to list them all in one article. But the best/worst/funniest ones so far involve him having a contact within Kenny Dalglish’s immediate family, exchanging emails with “various Anfield luminaries”, and having sources close to Amanda Staveley and Fernando Torres’s agent.

It’s a risky strategy for Dunk. He knows that this sort of nonsense will alienate some of his existing members, the ones who have been on KopTalk for a couple of years and have slowly realised that he knows as much about the inner workings of Liverpool FC as they do. Having their intelligence insulted like this will be final straw for some. But Oldham calculates that he’ll tempt enough new victims into signing up to KT for it to be worth the risk.

Since the season began, Dunk has also told us that he has sources close to the Real Madrid board, Jose Mourinho, Xabi Alonso, Steven Gerrard, Jamie Carragher, and Tom Hicks or George Gillett (Dunk couldn’t reveal which, naturally). These posts are listed at the end of the article so everyone can have a cheap laugh at them.

As somebody said in a comment on here recently: “There are senior journos within world-class media organisations who don’t have these contacts.”

We all know Dunk reads this blog – he recently changed his avatar in our honour – so I have a question for him: why, with all these supposed contacts, has KopTalk failed to report any of the major LFC stories this year before they appeared in the national press?

KopTalk – April round-up

Over the coming days, we’ll be looking at the bullshit Dunk has been crapping out on KopTalk this month, but first there are a few more posts from April that deserve attention.

We all know that Oldham loves to steal stories from The S*n. He’s been doing it for years – click on the “SUN-lovers” sticky at the top of the page for proof. Oldham has even run adverts for that rag on KopTalk. A post by a KopTalk member calling Oldham a con man would be lucky to last five minutes before it was deleted, but ads for The S*n can stay up for two weeks or more.

It’s indefensible at any time of the year, but in the month of the Hillsborough anniversary, you’d think even Oldham would restrain himself. You’d be wrong – he stole at least two stories from The S*n in April. ­­

And he didn’t stop there. He put both of them on his front page – the headlines aimed at coaxing Liverpool fans into paying him £36 to subscribe to KopTalk. So in the month of the Hillsborough anniversary, Duncan Oldham tried to make money from stories taken from The S*n. Duncan Oldham is the scum of the earth.

Proof that KopTalk’s Duncan Oldham had no advance knowledge of the Martin Broughton and BarCap developments

Duncan Oldham knew nothing about the Martin Broughton and BarCap developments until the news had been announced in the national press, as will be proven later in this article.

But, as ever, he wasn’t going to let that stop him pretending to have his finger on the pulse. So he put out this bewildering report on KopTalk, which read like something from a tabloid horoscope column:

11/04/2010 07:43 PM Hicks and Gillett finally ready to quit Liverpool for good
KopTalk Team
KOPTALK sources recently told our VIP members that the forthcoming week would be of particular interest and singled out the 17th as a key date. It would appear that they were accurate even though the information supplied was not specific.
While the media claim that there is strong interest from various parts of the globe, we’re led to believe that most of these claims are complete nonsense and that nobody has brought anything serious to the table since the global financial crisis kicked in.

This is the post that Dunk was referring to:

31/03/2010 08:27 AM An update
The_Informer
April 17 is an important date for the future of Liverpool Football Club.

Yes, Dunk really was trying to present that as a triumph for KopTalk.

Two points need to made here. Firstly, the only place the 17th was an important date was in Oldham’s feverish imagination. News of Gillett and Hicks stepping down from the board, and of Broughton’s appointment, broke on April 9th. BarCap’s involvement was first reported on April 10th. The club’s official announcement about Broughton came on April 16th. So, as hopelessly vague as Oldham/The_Informer was, he still got it wrong.

KopTalk’s non-existent “insiders” got it wrong yet again – this time about Torres’s injury

With all of Dunk’s alleged contacts within the club and the national press, you’d think he would have given his members the heads up on the Torres injury situation before it appeared in the papers. But these “contacts” are just a money-making figment of his imagination, so he knew nothing until this report in The Telegraph was published:

10:29AM BST 12 Apr 2010
Liverpool could be without Fernando Torres for the rest of the season after Rafael Benitez left the striker out of the squad that drew with Fulham yesterday due to the recurrence of a knee injury.
Torres, who has scored 22 times in all competitions this season is due to visit a specialist today.
“He has a problem with his knee and has gone to see a specialist,” the Spanish manager said after the uninspired 0-0 draw at Anfield. “We are waiting for news.”
Torres was sidelined for a month at the start of the year after undergoing surgery on his knee, and when asked if the problem was likely to keep his first-choice striker out for a similar period of time, Benitez said: “We don’t know really, it depends on the specialists tomorrow (Monday). He had a problem before and we were trying to protect him.”

Seven hours later, Oldham managed to put out the following rehash of that article:

12/04/10 05:36 PM Fernando Torres checks in with knee specialist
KopTalk Team  Administrator
Fernando Torres has spent Monday with a specialist following the recurrence of his knee injury.
The Liverpool striker played no part against Fulham yesterday as a result of the ongoing problem that has held him back for most of the season.
Speaking after yesterday’s 0-0 draw, Reds boss Rafa Benitez said: “He has a problem with his knee and has gone to see a specialist. We are waiting for news.
“We don’t know really [how long he will be out for], it depends on the specialists tomorrow. He had a problem before and we were trying to protect him.”
Reports here in Spain today claim that Torres could be out for the rest of the season but there is no confirmation of such at Anfield.

By this time, Torres was already on his way to Spain to see a specialist. If Oldham had any real contacts, he would have known this. But he doesn’t, so he again didn’t report the news until after it had been revealed by the national press.

In the KopTalk articles below, when Oldham refers to “KopTalk sources”, what he actually means is earlier articles by Guillem Balague and The Mirror’s David Maddock.