Oldham, Fatty and Scum – Solicitors

by Stannard Insider

You may not know this, but Koptalk has a huge busy legal department dealing with it’s sprawling civil and criminal proceedings.

It’s legal team is headed by Paul Harper. Here’s how he looked in his prime:

Intimidating isn’t he?

Have you ever had contact with him? Ever been referred to “Koptalk Legal” or “our legal team” or Paul Harper?   If so, tell us about it. We’ll build our own legal library of case histories right here.

And if it turns out that there is no legal department or legal team and that Paul Harper is yet another Oldham psuedonym then that, itself, may make an interesting case of false represenations.

We will research the possibilities of a class acton civil suit for damages (not to mention criminal proceedings) on behalf of all the duped former and current members of the Koptalk Kon.

To get the ball rolling here’s my own brief case history. Let me know what you think. If you like it I could write a few more pieces for the blog.

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During my time at Koptalk I paid a total of £14 to the scum that is Oldham. First a £1 cheque sent around 2002/2003 when I first signed-up for the Insider (in the lifetime-membership-for-a- quid thing).

I had been pulled in by the teasing headlines and the “Inside info” which I probably could have found on News Now. And again on 28th August 2005 a £13 payment for an upgrade to the Gold Club.

I had doubts about Oldham back then so much so that I made sure I paid the £13 as a one-off because I noticed that the PayPal button he encouraged people to use was, in fact, a yearly sub.

When the truth about Oldham was clear and my suspicions were confirmed, I moved on. When compared against what others have lost my £14 pales into insignificance. So I didn’t bother trying to collect when I left. (Well I was banned – but that’s another story for another day).

But now I know the fuller story about the Koptalk Kon, recovering my money has become a matter of principle.

A few days ago I decide to start the process and give Oldham some grief. My first and only, so far, port-of-call was the support ticket system. To my surprise Oldham actually responded. I would have expected him to have binned the ticket.

 

Here is a screenshot of the support ticket. (There was a bit more but Oldham decided to hide behind a stock answer of – send a letter to my PO Box tagged (legal) and we will “deal” with it).

Of course Paul Harper and the Koptalk Legal Team is a load of bollocks. But you’d think that with Fat Dunk going to all the trouble of lying he would at least make it slightly believable.

But on second thoughts maybe I’m giving him too much credit!

Dunk I will be keeping an eye out for the return of my £14 into my PayPal account and if I don’t see it anytime soon I will be bringing Koptalk to its knees and then stamping repeatedly on its head, metaphorically speaking, of course.