Behind the headlines – more of the wallet

Duncan seems to use “News Now” to get a lot of his visitors, and we’ll be posting about that tonight or tomorrow all being well, but once he’s got some visitors what does he do?

Well “News Now” links to his free website. And of course the free site leads to the pay site. Practically everything Dunk says or does on his free site is a link to the pay site. (Pop-ups are the other thing his free site links to, far too many of them and some seemingly a little dubious to say the least).
Especially the front page.

So I looked at some of the headlines on his front page, and just as I was about to post about them today I noticed he’d deleted some of them. Luckily I had kept a copy, and so I still had the links to the articles on the Insider. So let’s see what’s behind those intriguing headlines.

First of all, a post that really makes you think, “Woah! What’s Dunk found out now? Why have we failed in a bid for a winger? Was it Alves? Quick, take my money Dunk, I need to know…” Well it doesn’t make readers of this blog think that but I bet it still works on some new readers of his site. And some old ones too. But, in reality…

INSIDER: Truth about our failed bid for winger

…just takes you to this by “Philby_Walsh”, a Silver Member who joined in May 2003. He’s from Corcaigh. It’s not Dunk’s news at all – it’s a member’s news. Dunk’s no way of knowing if it’s true or otherwise. It’s not about Alves either, it’s about one of Dunk’s long-term targets. By that I mean he’s always linking us with Duff. It must have come as a shock to him this time round when Sky beat him to it.

“Duff – The Truth about our involvement” #1584244 – Wed Aug 02 2006 11:07 AM

Having spoken to someone close to Duff I can confirm that we were indeed interesting in signing him but, as reported, we made our move quite late which may partly explain why we didn’t make the deal happen.

The night before he signed for Newcastle (after he had agreed terms with them) Duff received 2 calls during dinner, one from Rafa and one from Martin Jol. Duff was never keen on Spurs as he was keen to get out of London and, having built up a bond with the Chelsea fans over the past few years, couldn’t see himself playing for another London-based side in any event.

Rafa’s conversation with Duff centered around tactics, his long-term plan and how Duff might fit into it. Rafa mentioned that he was keen to play Duff mainly on the right but that his place in the side was far from guaranteed week-in week-out. Benitez didn’t make much of an impression on Duff and as a result he didn’t contemplate turning back on the deal he had verbally agreed with Newcastle.

Perhaps Houllier’s more persuasive, ego-flattering style would’ve paid dividends here? Rafa is a fine manager but is so focused on making us great again I think he may lack the nous to lick ass from time to time. In his mind a player must be mustard keen to sign for Liverpool or he’s no good to him. Maybe he’s right.

Having picked up a lot of niggling injuries over the past few years & also being a victim of Chelsea’s squad rotation system Duff was simply keen just to get back playing regularly. He is so keen on playing that he regularly plays in 5-a-sides when back visiting friends & family in Dublin.

As an aside Man Utd were his top choice but they never came in for him. Apparently Duff was close to moving to them a few years back (from Blackburn) but the deal broke down when Fergie lost the head at Duff’s representative being too greedy around his cut (surprising I know given Fergie’s tendancy to spray money in every direction when agents are involved).

Complete crap of course. 100%. Even though it’s made up, what if it was from a real insider. What if the poster was actually genuine. Would that worth the money for the Insider sub? Not really, because why should Oldham make the money from his members like that. If he had his own insider info as promised, and this was a bonus, then fair enough. But he has no inside information whatsoever.

The next headline on the front page, one that’s actually still there, is this -

INSIDER: Transfer bid approved by board

This has been there for some time now – and perhaps Dunk ought to consider moving it, but no, he’s still got it there. It’s a post from Dunk himself. I mean “wallet”. I published this last week as soon as he’d made it up, but here it is again for another laugh -

(The subject on the insider site says “Kuyt bid approved by our Board….” just a subtle difference to the “teaser” on the free site)

“Hello
I’ve just received a call to say that an improved offer for Dirk Kuyt has been approved by our Board. It is a player plus cash offer, suspected to involve Jerzy Dudek and is worth approximately £9.4m all up. It is anticipated that this will test the resolve of Feyenord with Kuyt anxious to move to Anfield. The bid will be made after tomorrows match.”

But wait, “wallet” has been back for more since then. Dunk couldn’t resist logging in as his leather friend and made this up for us -

“Liverpool have agreed a fee with Feyenoord for Dirk Kuyt. There are several things to be put in place such as personal terms, relocation, severance payments if applicable and a routine medical, before the deal can be concluded. Feyenoord have inquired about Kromkamp and Dudek. I don’t know how any fee would be structured and I don’t know if any players will be outbound as part of the deal.”

Let’s have another look at that. Several exits for Dunk on this one. Kuyt may or may not be joining. Let’s face it, if you don’t already know that he fancies a move to Anfield and that Rafa fancies giving him his wish then you’re probably reading this blog by mistake (perhaps you thought it was something to do with basketball, the other main source of links to “Dunks” on the internet). If you want to make something up about Liverpool and possible transfer deals then you can safely use Dirk Kuyt. Especially if you add these exits – he might not agree personal terms, he might not agree relocation (what?!), severance payments may not be agreed with Feyenoord or he could fail his medical (Dunk’s been watching Everton too much).

Why not drop in that Feyenoord have enquired about Dudek and Kromkamp? Well according to someone somewhere (either in the commments here or on another forum, I forget where), Feyenoord have too many goalkeepers right now. Maybe someone will confirm this in the comments, but they were I’m sure trying to offload keepers. As for Kromkamp, it’s no secret he wants to go home to Holland, after spending most of his Liverpool career glued to his mobile phone speaking to someone back home. And Dunk (I mean…) saying he doesn’t know how the fee will be structured or if players will be involved as part of the deal is, well, making sure every single exit is available.

What’s funniest about this is that last week, if anyone believed Dunk “Wallet” Oldham, Liverpool had offered Dudek to Feyenoord as part of a deal worth £9.4m. So, last week Liverpool offered Dudek to Feyenoord. No sign of an acceptance of the offer until today, when Feyenoord suddenly enquired about Dudek (and Kromkamp).

Face it Dunk – you forgot to check what you said last week.

Until today, Dunk had forgotten what he’d put on the front of his Koptalk.coN site. You see the link from this headline…

INSIDER: Investment news from inside

Took me to this story -

We could not find the post or forum that you were trying to access.

Please use your back button to return to the previous page.

And, for once, the Koptalk Insider website had told me the truth.

It couldn’t find the promised insider information.

Because there isn’t any.

UPDATE: Dunk wasn’t dressed in his leather “wallet” gear tonight, he was pretending to be the Informer. I copied the story earlier on but didn’t copy the full thing for some reason (unlike me). A can of tizer later and I’d forgotten who the post was actually by. Here’s the full thing, with the post number too for future reference -

The Informer  Honorary Member
Reged: 14/07/03
Posts: 145
Loc: Liverpool
Kuyt deal close
#1591984 – 07/08/06 01:09 PM
Liverpool have agreed a fee with Feyenoord for Dirk Kuyt.There are several things to be put in place such as personal terms, relocation, severance payments if applicable and a routine medical, before the deal can be concluded.Feyenoord have inquired about Kromkamp and Dudek.I don’t know how any fee would be structured and I don’t know if any players will be outbound as part of the deal.
Post Extras:    

There’ll be a blog about me next – “Insider Insider is losing it. Over-exposure to Dunk has damaged his mind”. I’ll go and have a lie down for a bit I think…