Koptalk to go on tour (after they’ve read their emails)

Some more unintended comedy from the Johnny Vegas wanabee’s blog. He uses the blogger / blogspot system to write this incarnation of his blog, but never puts a title in. No imagination? Or not worth the effort seeing as NewsNow aren’t listing any of these articles?

First of all, this little piece of valuable information. Fatty has a backlog of emails to deal with. FIVE HUNDRED! Good grief fatty, how will you deal with them all?

The editor has a backlog of around 500 emails. These are none support related as all support enquiries are handled by KOPTALK HQ support via www.koptalk.misinfo

If you have emailed the pie-eater recently, this is just a quick note to let you know that he will be going through them all at the weekend.

Posted by KOPTALK at 2:49 PM | Permalink

500 complaints I shouldn’t wonder. Funnily enough I’ve just looked at my own (non-insider) email and found I’ve 500 spam messages to sift through. Doesn’t take long to sift through them, it’s just a case of making sure no “proper” emails get missed. As well as the messages offering me viagra and weight-loss products, there’ll be a good few emails trying to rip me off by pretending they are from a bank or eBay. Talking of people who use the internet to rip others off, look at this. As Jim Bowen or Peter Kay might say, it’s time for “a bit of bully”…

Please note that telephone support is available from around 8am until 11pm, 7 days-a-week, 365 days-a-year. You can also try calling outside those hours. For our contact numbers just visit the support site at www.koptalk.misinfo

We’re expecting some activity after the weekend so we will be on the road for at least 3 days. We can’t say why at this time. KOPTALK HQ will be manned as normal but a couple of us will be out and about. We will be in direct contact with HQ and will have full internet access to send back photos and videos if need be.

Posted by KOPTALK at 2:52 PM | Permalink

Stop laughing! He’s really expecting some activity you know, and he really will be on the road for 3 days too. Now I am just guessing here, but I get the feeling that Newcastle return to pre-season training on Monday, with Spurs starting Tuesday, Nottingham Forest on Wednesday. Talking of Wednesday, that’s the team that Chris Waddle once played for, from Sheffield – the place where he lives. One unfortunate balloon thought that Sun-columnist Waddle was selling him his house near Melwood. That same hot-air balloon may actually turn up outside Melwood sometime during the first part of next week. If you are prone to violence against fat people who wear fake curly wigs and ‘taches saying “calm down” then I’d stay clear. Especially if you also hate cars with a reg of “D1 UNK” or “F4 TTY”.

How mysterious. Koptalk HQ will be manned as usual, but a couple of us will be out and about. There are only three of them, so that means two are going out and one is staying in the shed. I can see there being a lot of fun early next week…

The next post was another message designed to make people think he’d really spent some money on his site.

10,000 SMS credits purchased (£552.25) for our complimentary (free) SMS service for Gold Club members. If you are a Gold Club member and you are signed-up to the service, you should have received a transfer update from us today. If you are a Gold Club member and you are not on the SMS list, just give Steve a bell on 07962 475020 and he will ask what LFC updates you want i.e. Major LFC News, Confirmed LFC line-ups, Goal alerts, Full-Time scores.

Posted by KOPTALK at 2:59 PM | Permalink

I like the way he has to tell us that complimentary means free. We did a very quick search on Google and we found this lot offering 10,000 SMS messages for £470 (which is £552.25 inc VAT). Far be it from me to suggest that someone else did a search for prices so that he could pretend to spend that much. We did a bit more of a search and found better deals too.

Fatty’s blog is at www.koptalkblog.coN – but look also at this one – www.koptalkinsider.blogspot.com. They look similar to each other don’t they?

Something else to look at (and a big round of applause from us to whoever did it) – it’s Koptalk on WikiPedia.

Desperate Dunk lets one in

I don’t know what it is about this tiny little conversation, but it makes me feel sickly. Very sickly. I get the feeling Dunk’s after another threesome, but he’s inviting this guest to join him and Steve this time. “We’re missing you upstairs” he says, probably wearing his mum’s negligee as he writes it.

Right, is everybody back now? You’ve all finished being sick? Good.

One other thing – look at how pathetic Duncan’s signature looks, especially when compared to Valoi’s.

Valoi
Silver Member
***
Reged: 06/07/05
Posts: 145
Loc: Norway

FAO Mods
#1531480 – 06/07/06 06:19 PM
Reply to this post Reply

Well, it’s not Liverpool-related, but I didn’t know where to post it.

I used to be a gold-club member, but can’t log in to the Gold Club. Why is that? I thought I paid for another year up there with the Queens

Oh, and you can delete the thread when I’ve got my answer, before one of the others is having a go at me

——————–
No small toffees for feast tonight
Kopites party with Turkish delight
Jose, Sir Alex… London press
All choking on sweet success
Money, not love, is your drive
But tell us… Can you count to five?

Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator
DunkAdministrator
k0ptalk Editor
****
Reged: 20/08/04
Posts: 8047

Re: FAO Mods [Re: Valoi]
#1531694 – 06/07/06 08:15 PM
Reply to this post Reply

Just spoke to Steve mate. Can you call him on 07962 475020 or open a support ticket at http://www.k0ptalk.info/ – he’ll be here until midnight and then back again about 7 or 8 in the morning UK time.

We’re missing you upstairs

——————–
Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius…

Post Extras:

Seems Dunk assumes Valoi is a safe person to let into his forums. He desperately needs the visitors. He must think Valoi doesn’t blog. Hmmm – I wonder…

The amazing story-telling wallet strikes again

Dunk’s added another of his updates where he pretends to be an accessory used by men to carry money in. True or bullshit? From his own sources or stolen from elsewhere? You decide. And if it turns out true and not stolen from elsewhere we’ll finally be able to update that number in the sidebar.

wallet
Silver Member
****
Reged: 22/07/04
Posts: 437

Transfer saga update…
#1531210 – 06/07/06 04:15 PM

Reply to this post Reply     Reply to this post Quote

Hi

I’ve just received quite a detailed update so I’ll try to pass on as much as I can for now:

1. Rafa wants to sign Alves and Alves has told his agents to make it happen. There is a differential of approx €2.75m between what we want to pay upfront and what Seville want to receive up front (full transfer fee is agreed). Essentially if we fork up the required initial installment it will restrict our cash flow and Rafas kitty in this transfer window.

2. As a solution Barragan and Cisse will be sold / loaned out. Rafa wants to keep Barragan for the future so this sale is for all intents and purposes a long term loan. Should he be a success we can buy him back for more or less the same fee (some clauses to be rubber stamped). This should raise approx €1.25m. The Cisse deal is a year long loan resulting in €2.75m (give or take) off the wage bill with Marseille having an option to buy this time next year.

3. Rafa wants to sign another striker with Kuyt being a target. Bellamy has been banging them in this week pleasing everyone but there are concerns over Robbies fitness. He missed training already to see the physio this week. Defoe is the other option and would be cheaper (marginally).

4. Talk of signing Joaquin is just paper talk. Rafa likes him but he would not suit our style.

5. Rafa is a huge Harry Kewell fan. He doesn’t want to sell him but if funds need to be raised he would have to consider it. There is little interest in Warnock, Traore, Kromkamp or Zenden so far this window.

6. Decisions are being made re all of the above today at a meeting. Rafa wants his full squad together by the time the world cup players return to training.

Till I know more…

——————–
YNWA Lauren – Liverpool’s No.1 Fan

Post Extras:

 

WARNING: Koptalk users should check their paypal accounts

If you’ve seen the light and scarpered from the fatboy’s insider, make sure you aren’t still paying him. Check your paypal account as soon as you get chance. Despite how he’s worded things below, he’s set up his paypal billing request for the insider as an automatically renewing annual subscription. If you don’t spot this when you sign up then you’ll be charged every year, even if you’ve long since left the Sun-lover’s website -

KopTalkInsider.coN KopTalk Staff
Reged: Jul 28 2003
Posts: 22373
I have been billed more than once!
#1529197 – Wed Jul 05 2006 05:46 PM

You will have been billed again because YOU haven’t administered your PayPal account and subscription properly. If you signed up via PayPal, THEY automatically renew you each year on your behalf. It clearly says this on their sign-up page when you join.

We DO NOT apply for this payment manually.

Basically if you want to cancel your sub you need to log-in to your PayPal account (you obviously need to have paid via them) and cancel your subscription with us. Then you will not be billed again.

You may also have been billed if you have upgraded to the Gold Club and you have forgotten to cancel your previous Insider sub. Again you need to cancel the first subscription by logging into PayPal.

If you renewed early – because you didn’t know your autobilling was active – you need to cancel your first sub. Again you need to cancel this by logging into your PayPal account.

If you wish to continue as a member we can either extend your membership period or refund you back to PayPal.

Should you have any problems, please contact us via www. koptalk. info
Post Extras:

If anybody is successful in getting a refund out of the Scarborough boy then let me know. Don’t all write at once, the gmail system could struggle with the demand.

By the way, in case you’ve never read it before, this really is the Koptalk “AUP” of which you’ll have heard plenty during just about any visit to the site. We’ve only changed it very slightly to help you use the correct accent whilst reading it.

Ze AUP is the Acceptable Use Policy, read it!

—–

Zis Acceptable Use Policy is intended to help create an atmosphere in vhich freedom of speech is balanced by self-discipline and a mature attitude to discussion. ve politely ask zat all who participate on our netvork abide by ze guidelines set out belov.

All chat sessions and ze discussion forums are moderated to help you to get ze most out of participating in online discussions and to ensure zat zese rules are observed. Ze moderators’ decision is final at all times.

By virtue of your participation, you are deemed to have agreed to abide by zese rules.

Participation vill require your username and passvord, chosen at time of registration. You must not represent yourself as anozer person.

You are personally responsible for anyzing you post on any part of ze KopTalk netvork. Every message posted leaves a traceable IP address vhich basically means in serious cases of abuse ve can contact your Internet Service Provider to obtain your details should ve or any ozer readers vish to take any kind of civil or legal action against you.

Messages should not be malicious or designed to offend. In particular, ze use of svear-vords or undue profanity is not acceptable. In particular, you must ensure zat you do not say or post anyzing vhich is harmful, zreatening, abusive, harassing, tortuous, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, libellous, invasive of anozer’s privacy, hateful, or racially, eznically or ozervise objectionable.

Your message should be vizin ze scope of ze subject(s) under discussion. Reference should not be made to ze personality of ozer participants in a discussion nor should attacks be made on an individual’s character unless ze person concerned has already chosen to bring his or her personality into ze issue under discussion. You should remember zat you are legally responsible for vhat you post.

You must ensure zat your contribution does not harm minors in any vay; does not breach any applicable lav or regulation; is not transmitted in breach of any applicable contractual or fiduciary duty (such as a duty to keep it confidential); does not infringe any patent, trademark, trade secret, copyright, database right or ozer similar right of any party.

By participating in a discussion, you undertake to indemnify KopTalk and our partners, sponsoring bodies, and our employees and subcontractors against any liability arising from any breach of confidentiality, copyright or ozer intellectual property right published by you on zis site and against all damages, losses, claims and costs (including, vizout limitation, all expenses incurred in conducting or defending any proceedings) arising from any such publication. You must not make statements zat are libellous, obscene, seek to incite racial hatred or ozervise break ze lavs of ze United Kingdom.

No advertising is alloved unless you have been given permission by KopTalk. Our contact details can be located at vvv.koptalk.info

Absolutely no vebsite links may be posted on any part of ze KopTalk netvork vizout ze permission of KopTalk except links to any official football club vebsites, national newspaper vebsites (e.g. Ze Mirror, Ze Times, Ze Independent, Ze Guardian) and ozer mainstream media outlets such as Ze BBC, Sky Sports, ITV, Sky news, Ananova, Sporting Life, Press Association, Eurosport. Anyone posting links to any sites zat do not fall vizin zese categories vill have zeir account closed vizout notice. Zis is due to restrictions placed on us by certain advertisers and because ve do not vant to appear to endorse certain vebsites zat may contain material not sutiable to minors.

vizout prejudice to our general rights ve reserve ze right to block or remove any material at any time vizou notice or explanation.

If a person has sent you a private email you may not forvard it to ozers vizout ze prior consent of ze person who sent it. Zis does not prevent you forvarding private e-mail to KopTalk should you consider zis appropriate.

You may report offensive posts or breaches of zis Acceptable Use Policy by contacting support via http://vvv.koptalk.info or by using ze notify moderator facility. Click on ze appropriate image vhich can be found under every post made on our netvork.

Images must not be included in signatures as zis slovs dovn ze loading of pages vhen ozers viev zem

Avatars must be non offensive and appropriate for vieving by all minors

Ze location field under your name must be a geographical location such as Liverpool, Leeds, London, UK, Norvay

If you post any abuse aimed at ozers including ze moderators and any ozer KopTalk staff, your account vill be closed vizout notice.

Copying content from KopTalk and posting on ozer sites is an offence vhich ve take seriously. If you post content on our netvork ve vill assume zat you have permission to do so. If you do not have such consent and ve are notified of such offences, ve vill remove ze content and your account may be closed vizout notice.

By virtue of your participation on our netvork, you are deemed to have agreed to abide by zese rules.

Another complaint about restrictions in KT

Dunk’s still not answered this – why can’t his posters highlight text?

Neil Young
Gold Member

Reged: Sep 24 2002
Posts: 4267
Loc: London

Problem affecting this forum
#1529785 – Wed Jul 05 2006 10:47 PM          Reply      Quote

For some days now I have been unable to highlight text. This is getting more and more of a pain – I can’t easily copy and paste, or delete, and yesterday I had to type up a huge amount of text twice because I couldn’t copy it.

It only is a problem in here – I haven’t had any problem on any of the other forums.

It’s extremely frustrating. Has anyone else had this problem and do you have any suggestions as to what will solve it?
Post Extras:

Mumsafan
Honorary Member

Reged: May 05 2004
Posts: 24442
Loc: Upper Kemlyn

Re: Problem affecting this forum [Re: Neil Young]
#1529806 – Wed Jul 05 2006 10:54 PM          Reply      Quote

It’s been known for a while that this happens. Why has it taken you so long to notice?

It’s Dunk’s fault.
Post Extras:

Kopdan
Honorary Member

Reged: Jun 21 2003
Posts: 19999
Loc: Chester by day

Re: Problem affecting this forum [Re: Mumsafan]
#1529809 – Wed Jul 05 2006 10:56 PM          Reply      Quote

Its part of Operation Blog Down
Post Extras:

Red_Polo
Honorary Member

Reged: Jan 14 2004
Posts: 8914
Loc: London

Re: Problem affecting this forum [Re: Neil Young]
#1529945 – Wed Jul 05 2006 11:57 PM          Reply      Quote

Neil I also have a problem I noticed you comment on somewhere or other. When replying to posts it occasionally says the forum has expired or some bolleaux.
Post Extras:

robmccreary
Gold Member

Reged: Jul 08 2004
Posts: 2356
Loc: Invergowrie

Re: Problem affecting this forum [Re: Mumsafan]
#1529972 – Thu Jul 06 2006 12:29 AM          Reply      Quote

Quote:

It’s been known for a while that this happens. Why has it taken you so long to notice?

It’s Dunk’s fault.

Have you had good hols – this place has been missing the female touch!
Post Extras:

Fredo
Honorary Member

Reged: Jul 01 2003
Posts: 5049
Loc: Home sweet home

Re: Problem affecting this forum [Re: robmccreary]
#1530065 – Thu Jul 06 2006 05:35 AM          Reply      Quote

Quote:

Quote:

It’s been known for a while that this happens. Why has it taken you so long to notice?

It’s Dunk’s fault.

Have you had good hols – this place has been missing the female touch!

Neil is not so young anymore you know.
Post Extras:

Neil Young
Gold Member

Reged: Sep 24 2002
Posts: 4267
Loc: London

Re: Problem affecting this forum  [Re: Mumsafan]
#1530275 – Thu Jul 06 2006 09:52 AM          Reply      Quote

Quote:

It’s been known for a while that this happens. Why has it taken you so long to notice?

It’s Dunk’s fault.

Isn’t it always?

As a matter of fact, I noticed ages ago. It’s just p!ssing me off more now culminating in typing an epic post twice in The Somme thread.
Post Extras:

Neil Young
Gold Member

Reged: Sep 24 2002
Posts: 4267
Loc: London

Re: Problem affecting this forum  [Re: Red_Polo]
#1530281 – Thu Jul 06 2006 09:54 AM          Reply      Quote

Quote:

Neil I also have a problem I noticed you comment on somewhere or other. When replying to posts it occasionally says the forum has expired or some bolleaux.

Yeah it’s annoying isn’t it? There seems no pattern to it which just adds to the irritation when it happens.

It is particularly aggravating when it happens in the Chill Out after you’ve typed a million word reply and can’t post it or copy it meaning you have to refresh and type it all up again. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Post Extras:

Neil Young
Gold Member

Reged: Sep 24 2002
Posts: 4267
Loc: London

Re: Problem affecting this forum  [Re: Fredo]
#1530288 – Thu Jul 06 2006 09:56 AM          Reply      Quote

Quote:

Neil is not so young anymore you know.

True, true.

sigh

Post Extras:

Mumsafan
Honorary Member

Reged: May 05 2004
Posts: 24442
Loc: Upper Kemlyn

Re: Problem affecting this forum  [Re: robmccreary]
#1530407 – Thu Jul 06 2006 10:41 AM          Reply      Quote

Quote:

Quote:

It’s been known for a while that this happens. Why has it taken you so long to notice?

It’s Dunk’s fault.

Have you had good hols – this place has been missing the female touch!

Hols? I haven’t been anywhere . Just haven’t logged in for a week or two – it is possible
Post Extras:

DarkKnight
Caped Crusader

Reged: Sep 30 2002
Posts: 2057
Loc: Gotham

Re: Problem affecting this forum  [Re: Mumsafan]
#1530439 – Thu Jul 06 2006 10:59 AM          Reply      Quote

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

It’s been known for a while that this happens. Why has it taken you so long to notice?

It’s Dunk’s fault.

Have you had good hols – this place has been missing the female touch!

Hols? I haven’t been anywhere . Just haven’t logged in for a week or two – it is possible

… interesting – been blogging then  ?
Post Extras:

If you want to get back control of your browser, a bit of advice can be found above under “right-click unblocking”, alternatively disable javascript.

Also, if you want to copy text from just one post, try pressing the “Quote” button next to the post you want to copy. Then try copying.

Failing that, cancel your subscription and come here to read any “insider” information.

Dunk goes to visit his mate Smoov in New York

Funny Videos – Weird Al Yankovic – Fat

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One of Dunk’s mates is black, as he’ll often say after he’s had some criticism for his dislike of “foreigners”.

Here he is meeting up with that mate, Smoove, in the US of A.

Listen out also for Clive Tyldesley shouting “Simao”.
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Fatty tries to stop the bloggers

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He can’t get to the computer fast enough.

And still fails.
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