The Koptalk Pantomime still running – just

Another example of Duncan Oldham keeping things from his readers. Posted in the “Chill Out Room” inside that infamous Insider. The site without any inside information.

WEwonINinstanbul  Gold Member
Reged: Sep 29 2005 Posts: 279
Loc: Liverpool
whats happening to KT?
#1521298 – Sat Jul 01 2006 10:17 PM
Everytime i come on lately there is a new post aimed at Dunk or the site about one thing or another. What the hells going on?
I know Dunk has refered to the sites out their that are against KT because …… well actually i dont know why.
Can anyone fill me in, because this place is seemingly becoming weird over the last few weeks.
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JD Koptalk’s Rent Boy
Reged: Dec 12 2004  Posts: 11418
Loc: Cambridgeshire
Re: whats happening to KT?  [Re: WEwonINinstanbul]
#1521310 – Sat Jul 01 2006 10:23 PM
Nothing more than usual. You will get used to it.

robmccreary  Gold Member
Reged: Jul 08 2004  Posts: 2297
Loc: Invergowrie
Re: whats happening to KT?  [Re: WEwonINinstanbul]
#1521451 – Sat Jul 01 2006 11:33 PM

I haven’t seen any – is there a forum i’m missing.

DarkKnight  Caped Crusader
Reged: Sep 30 2002 Posts: 2039
Loc: Gotham
Re: whats happening to KT?  [Re: robmccreary]
#1521582 – Sun Jul 02 2006 02:16 AM

Grassy knol, defo up on the grassy knol.

WEwonINinstanbul   Gold Member
Reged: Sep 29 2005  Posts: 279
Loc: Liverpool
Re: whats happening to KT?  [Re: robmccreary]
#1521698 – Sun Jul 02 2006 10:02 AM

think ive seen 3 within the last week, latest one is by some polish feller about dunk sayin something about peeps from overseas. also seen something in the gold club the other day.

Dunk   KopTalk Editor
Reged: Aug 20 2004  Posts: 7934
Re: whats happening to KT?  [Re: WEwonINinstanbul]
#1522674 – Sun Jul 02 2006 07:18 PM

The good thing about KT is that I get rid of people who I find abusive or stupid. Some people just find it hard to accept and instead of moving on, they just want to target me. I’ve had it for years mate, it comes with the territory. It’s just part of the pantomine of the internet.  

Well I think we can all guess which part fatty would like to play.

Talking of pantomime, we’ve not failed to notice that Duncan has actually named a source of his cutting and pasting today. On taking every single quote from an interview by Djibril Cisse, rather than omitting the name of the paper like her normally does, Dame Oldham wrote: “In an exclusive interview with The News of the World (British newspaper, sister of The Sun newspaper), Cisse said: “ It seems the blog that doesn’t bother him has bothered him – again.

 

Mum and Steve to down tools for a day

Insider news is – as ever – completely absent on the Koptalk Insider site today. Not a bean. As always, if he makes anything up, we’ll put it on here for you.

His fictional inspirations all involve himself today rather than Liverpool FC. He’s actually pretending that his crappy blog is being updated by somebody else! Hilarious stuff, and it was only as we read it the second time (to paste it below) that we spotted it. Must give him some kind of thrill.

Whatever happened to Chloe by the way? Anyone any ideas?

Anyway, the four updates he typed himself into the blogger interface for his blog are probably aimed at us although we’re quite baffled about the first two.

1. News items will be limited on Monday 3rd July due to an upgrade of our telecommunications system (telephones, broadband connection etc). We will be able to update the site for major news items etc but our frequent updates won’t start until much later in the day.
2. No telephone support will be available on Monday 3rd July until late afternoon, early evening. We apologise for this break in support. You can still open support tickets and you can still call us but we won’t be able to assist you fully until our support staff are back in the office.
3. The editor has asked us to update anyone who has pre-ordered a copy of his book to look out for an announcement in August/September regarding its publication. Everything is in order and hopefully it should finally be in print before the end of the season. A New Year launch would be ideal but we should have more concrete information at the start of the new season.
4. We will be recruiting new staff in time for the new season. It is the first time in the history of the site that we will have actual paid ‘employees’ but having seen an increase in new members this summer, we will have a decent kitty to play with next season. A stronger team means that existing contributors will be able to concentrate on other matters.

Numbers 1 and 2 are very odd indeed. He’s forever telling us how he can do all his work from home or at the “office” – so is the whole of Newcastle having its phones upgraded? Maybe he actually does live at Koptalk HQ after all. I think what’s really happening is that Fatty’s mum and Steve have decided to go on strike for a day in protest at him causing trouble and leaving them to deal with it. They’ve been reading the blog and can’t work out how he’s getting rich and they aren’t getting paid. Jeanette and Steve are going out for the day to the seaside, using the whole of the ninety quid they’ve ripped off in Insider subs this month.

Number 3 was clearly aimed at us. Forgetting all of his previous lies about the due date of his masterpiece, he announced in December that it would be available in March of this year. Later on he promised by the end of this year. Four months on and he’s saying he’ll announce the date in August or September – not bring it out, announce the date. Which he says will be “before the end of the season”. Admit it – YOU’VE NOT WRITTEN A BOOK! And why make an announcement on your “blog” to those who pre-ordered? Send them an email to let them know, lazy git. And as for “the editor has asked us” – what a load of balls.
Number 4 would have been mildly amusing but it’s hard to laugh at old jokes. How did the Spurs interviews go then fatty? Did Steve pick someone? What’s that? There weren’t any interviews? You should let us know where you’re advertising for these new jobs, what sort of salary you’ll be paying etc. Someone will no doubt want to apply. Maybe Chloe?

More support for The Sun from Koptalk

So-called Liverpool supporter Duncan Oldham, the name behind the various Koptalk scams, continues to show his contempt for the club and its supporters with more support for The Sun newspaper.There’s a lot of evidence in this blog of his love for The Sun, and plenty of information why this is wrong in case you are one of the few Liverpool fans too young to realise why that newspaper is boycotted.

The following is what Oldham put on his websites last night (with headline clearly designed to entice readers in from NewsNoW).

KopTalkInsider.com KopTalk Staff Reged: Jul 28 2003 Posts: 22274
Kuyt transfer talk latest
#1521247 – Sat Jul 01 2006 09:40 PM

According to at least one British newspaper report today, Feyenoord are demanding £14million from Liverpool for Dirk Kuyt.

Now if that’s true, you can forget it and rightly so because if you’re going to start investing that kind of money on a striker you want to be breaking the bank on someone ‘massive’ and not someone trying to make the step up a grade.

It goes without saying that Feyenoord will try to get as much as they can for the player but the last time we negotiated for him, we offered a take it or leave it offer of £10million. They left it and the deal collapsed.

What makes us question today’s report is that it mentions that Spurs are still in for the player and as far as we’re aware, they ended their interest some time ago, also after failing to agree a fee.

All the talk of Jermaine Defoe has gone quiet but if Spurs we’re prepared to sell him for around £8million, we think he’d become a genuine alternative.

But we’ll say it again, Rafa hasn’t dealt any surprises yet. Maybe he won’t this window but it’s worth considering.

Kuyt reminds us of Ian Rush which is probably why we like him so much but £14million for a player from the Dutch league? Hmmm…. we’re not convinced.

The report sounded lazy and outdated but maybe we’ll get a better idea of things within a few days.

“At least one” newspaper? Make that “just one”. We don’t read the Sun, we do look at other websites though and the only mentions we could find of this story and that £14m fee were on 1) “Clubcall” (the original experts on misleading headlines with their 0898 teletext ads) and 2) The BBC “Gossip” page.

Here’s what it said on the BBC gossip page, as taken (again) from Koptalk.

KopTalkInsider.com KopTalk Staff Reged: Jul 28 2003 Posts: 22274
Saturday 1st July 2006
#1520218 – Sat Jul 01 2006 10:41 AM

Chelsea have put Hernan Crespo up for sale following his World Cup exit with Argentina. (Daily Mirror)

Liverpool have been told Feyenoord striker Dirk Kuyt will cost them £14m. (The Sun)

Blackburn Rovers refused Wigan’s bid of a player plus cash for Robbie Savage. (The Times)

Norwich have told Blackburn boss Mark Hughes that Robert Earnshaw is not for sale. (The Times)

Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez has sounded out Birmingham about a £3.5m deal for Birmingham winger Jermaine Pennant. (Daily Mail)

West Ham sign Chelsea striker Carlton Cole and Charlton full back Luke Young but pull out of a move for Fulham’s Steed Malbranque. (Daily Mirror)

Manchester City goalkeeper Nicky Weaver is wanted by Sheffield Wednesday. (Daily Mirror)

Dunfermline have handed former Liverpool and Scotland Under-21 winger Robbie Foy the opportunity to kick-start his career and will join them on the club’s pre-season trip to Holland. (Daily Record)

The above content is prepared by BBC Sport. We are unable to edit it.

There’s very little to add really. Once again Dunk uses the Sun to try and make some money for himself. He added just two “stories” to any of his sites yesterday. One was early in the day about Steven Gerrard and England, the second was this one about the made-up story from The Sun.

Duncan Oldham continues to support The Sun and as such all true Liverpool supporters should boycott Koptalk.

An article you may not have read on the damage that The Sun and its then-editor Kelvin McKenzie did after Hillsborough can be found here – The films and writing of John Pilger. Please find some time to read it, especially if you feel any sympathy for Duncan Oldham’s continued betrayal of everything Liverpool Football Club stands for.

My book – any ideas where it is?

Someone has obviously been getting this user worried about whether or not he’ll get the book he’s been waiting for. Maybe he’s read something like that quote we posted earlier from the author of this book, “Anfield Exposed”, where he promised to have the book ready by March 2006. It’s now July, and still no book.

Anyway – if you ordered the book now’s the time to ask for a refund on your deposit. Let us know how you get on. We’re hoping to have some signed copies to give away in a competition when it comes out – we’ve written to Dunk asking for them, we’re sure he’ll be only too glad to pass them on to us.

Porch
Gold Member

Reged: Jan 23 2005
Posts: 1112

Anfield Expose book?
#1520834 – Sat Jul 01 2006 06:14 PM Reply

Will Dunk still come out with this book? I am not sure if I have paid for the book long time ago…..please update me.
Post Extras:

Anfield_Iron
Honorary Member

Reged: Aug 21 2005
Posts: 12172
Loc: Hello

Re: Anfield Expose book? [Re: Porch]
#1520859 – Sat Jul 01 2006 06:25 PM Reply

He will, eventually

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******FULLY PAID UP MEMBER OF THE BLIND FAITH BRIGADE******

Trezeguet for Anfield

For Everything A Reason
Fowler Enjoys A Renaissance
Post Extras:

Dunk
KopTalk Editor

Reged: Aug 20 2004
Posts: 7924

Re: Anfield Expose book? [Re: Porch]
#1521087 – Sat Jul 01 2006 07:37 PM Reply

Quote:

Will Dunk still come out with this book? I am not sure if I have paid for the book long time ago…..please update me.

Yeh of course but if you don’t want to wait any longer, just drop us an email support@koptalk.com and I’ll get them to refund you. I’d liked to have had it out a lot sooner and it is high on my agenda of things to complete. I’ll try and get an update to everyone by the start of the new season.

——————–
www.KopTalkBlog.coN
Post Extras:

Well stop looking at houses you know full well you’ll never buy and get on with the finishing touches please.

UPDATE, July 2nd. This is what you get if you email support@koptalk.com as advised -

Hi

If you require support, please go to http://www.koptalk.info and open a support ticket. We will then contact you by email as soon as we can. Alternatively you can call us, our numbers can be found on the support website.

Please do not reply to this autoresponder as it will bounce back to you unread.

Thanks

KOPTALK.COM

Birthday, blog, bus, bull.

Happy birthday to Fatty’s domain koptalkb(l)og.com, which is one month old today. And what a month it’s been.

It started off life as a 123reg blog, with the trackback facility switched on. Oh how we laughed as articles from this blog were displayed in the fatblog for the whole weekend whilst he was on a bender. In fact the blundering boy’s still not spotted something similar on his www.laurenforsyth.com blog. That’s the blog he set up in Lauren’s name, but started to use as a vehicle to plug Koptalk on before losing interest.

Dunk’s blog was great fun for him for a while, but he started to have some kind of problem with it, because all of a sudden it had all of its posts deleted. He used it as a place to post updates when his main kaktalk.com site was down. Except he didn’t put any updates on.

Then he deleted it. Just got rid of it all.
Next it was turned into a plain HTML page created with his dodgy copy of dreamweaver. Strange “posts” were added here and there and taken away here and there too. They were clearly aimed at us on the blog he says doesn’t bother him. He calls us his fan club now.

The next step for fatty in his life as a blogger was to point the domain at a forum within his kaktalk.org forums. Again these posts were designed for our benefit at this blog, and much mirth they caused us. Thanks for that Duncan, it’s great to have something to really laugh at.

Alas, the blog-within-a-forum idea didn’t really work out for him for some reason, so he moved on to the next version of it yesterday. He’s now using the Google-owned Blogger service to create his bullshit blog posts.

And there was us thinking he’d been doing nothing…

Of the three posts he’s added we’ll gloss over a boring one about him buying a new camcorder so he can film his dogging. Sorry dogs.

He’s also mentioned again about his plans for a new life in Liverpool, with his house outside Melwood and his large hotel. The offer of free rooms for all has now changed though, but he’s planning to provide a free bus service. Wonder who’ll drive that sunshine bus then…

We will begin property hunting in Liverpool next week as we search for a new base. We are looking at purchasing a property adjacent to Melwood (Liverpool FC’s training facility). We’re also looking for an existing hotel or large building that can be converted into a hotel. Basically we need to see what the best options are.

Our new office will hopefully be located close to Melwood but our expansion won’t stop there. We then plan to open a hotel in the city over the next couple of years that will be Liverpool FC themed and will offer a shuttle service to and from Anfield on match-days. The hotel will have a bar kitted out with large HDTV screens for the football with multi-satellite options for the Saturday football.

KOPTALK readers will be able to book reservations online via KOPTALK.COM and there’ll be special perks (discounts, free nights etc) for Gold Club members. Imagine sitting down for a full English with the 2005 Champions League final on in the background!

Someone has been specifically designated to start the ball rolling with regards our latest ideas. It will take time but we’ll keep you updated with developments.

So this property “overlooking Melwood” has now (in the second paragraph) become “hopefully…located close to Melwood”. By the end of the week we expect it will be located somewhere in Whitley Bay. Which is probably where that hotel’s going to be. Makes no money, asks for donations, can barely afford his season tickets (we still want to see a picture of them) and all the rest of it, yet he’s off buying his own Fawlty Towers. Starting tomorrow his mum has to look on rightmove.com for a house in Liverpool for less than five grand.

Anyway, we’ve saved the best until last. It’s another of Dunk’s completely stupid, 99.9% vague reports of activity within Liverpool FC.

Information received at KOPTALK HQ over the weekend claims that an inbound signing will arrive in the city to discuss and/or finalise a proposed move to Anfield. Details are sketchy at the moment but we hope to be able to provide an update for our Insider & Gold Club members by Tuesday at the latest.

How dim do you think your readers are? Let’s split this up…

“an inbound signing” What other types of signings are there? You wouldn’t describe a player being sold as an “outbound signing would you?.

“will arrive in the city” Nicely vague. By plane or by car? From England or overseas? If from England from far enough away to fly in?

“to discuss and/or finalise a proposed move to Anfield.” So if Alves or Pennant (for example) ends up being signed, you’ll say it was to finalise a deal. A name you’ve not heard mentioned before and you’ll say it was to discuss a move. Which is what you’ll also say should no deal be announced by Tuesday – discussions fell through.

“Details are sketchy at the moment” Or in other words, you’ve had no information and you don’t want to put your foot in it too much yet. Alternatively you’ve read another forum and the poster on there won’t go into too much detail yet.

“but we hope to be able to provide an update for our Insider & Gold Club members by Tuesday at the latest.” A couple of extra days to try and plug your nonsense to the next batch of school kids reading the site.

Will Dunk ever learn?